another observation: clever kids..so cute..

"mommy..you cannot stand too close too the tv..teacher said it is bad for your eyes"

"i need tissues..i want to wipe my face..im not pretty anymore" (because there's some cheese n sauces on her face after she ate her sandwich)

"no..u shouldnt do like that..put it here..see..butterfly" (doing puzzle)

"daisy said when we make mistakes, we should say sorry..when we want to sneeze, we should say 'excuse me'.."

i always wonder why kids here are so clever and 'petah' (very clever in talking)..and i also made this observation..and this is what i found out..

1. from infant, the parents will read to them bedtime stories..so this habit will trigger their mind..especially kids in age 1-3..they easily can absorb what they hear..here is a prove that i can rely on my observation..

• Brain development that takes place prenatally and in the first year of life is more rapid and extensive than previously suspected;
• Brain development is much more vulnerable to environmental influence than we ever suspected;
• The influence of early environment on brain development is long lasting;
• The environment affects not only the number of brain cells and number of connections among them, but also the way these connections are "wired;"

source from: Carnegie Task Force on Meeting the Needs of Young Children, Starting Points, 1994

a simple bedtime stories has a huge impact on children's learning..they even put the story books on the bed sometimes so the child can take a look on the picture every time they want to..start to read you children now.. :)

2. the parents here also provide the kids with the kid's tv program which contain with education thing..they teach their children to watch this program since they are really young..so indirectly, the children will learn by themselves  through this environment..and make them know the language faster..

3. the parents are so encouraging..they will play with the kids and within the same time they will teach them simple things..for example : the father wanted to teach the children how to plant a plant..so they went to the backyard and they did it together..it was a playtime to the kids because they were enjoying it..she also learning by doing it herself..they didnt afraid to be dirty as long as they are learning..and then the father told the kids what will happen to the plant..~~this thing really happen when i became a nanny at one of the families here..but what i realize is, they didnt teach the children science, math, or the formal academic things..they just teach the children about something in life..simple things..because they know if they give stress too much on these kids on their earlier stage, it will damage their brains..

4.quality time with the kids..even they are working, they still valueing their quality time with the family..weekend especially..

5. at the age 2, they already send their children to kindergarten..in Malaysia, we have nursery..but here, even at age 2, they also have the syllabus for them..means they are not just playing there or doing nothing..they also learning some simple things..how to go to toilet, how to eat properly, how to wash hands, how to make a sandwich, how to communicate with people, and many simple things but meaningful..

i think that was the reasons why the kids here are so clever..

yesterday is only a day..

yesterday morning, i woke up n get ready to go to work..but i want to go somewhere else first..but then everything turned upside down..i didnt go for it..but i ended up, being in my room, crying..

another test for me 2day..God, it's your will..i cant deny it..i even cant say no..but i need to accept it with an open heart..i should be thankful because my friends once said that You actually gives us the test because You still loves us..thank you Allah..

Allah, sesungguhnya hanya Kau yang mengerti apa yang ada dalam hati ini..Kau Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untukku, hambaMu yang hina ini..seandainy benar dugaan ini adalah setitik dari kasih sayangMu, Kau berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk menghadapinya..sayangilah hambamu ini..sekali aku terleka, Kau berikanlah peringatan kepada ku agar aku sentiasa waras dan sedar dengan kekuatan Mu..Kau izinkanlah pintu taubat terbuka untukku..

ya Allah..Kau tetapkanlah hati hambaMu ini ya Allah..tetapkanlah hatinya supaya sentiasa kuat mengingatMu..hanya Kau saja Yang Maha Pengasih dan Maha Pemurah ya Allah..janganlah Kau palingkan hatiku dari Mu dengan hanya sedikit goyahan dari dugaan Mu..aku merayu padaMu ya Allah, Kau kuatkanlah pegangan ku, cekalkanlah hatiku, lapangkanlah dadaku, tabahkanlah jiwaku dalam menghadapi sgala kemungkinan..utuhkanlah iman dan taqwaku..tinggikanlah maluku..

Allah, Kaulah tempat kumengadu..Kau memiliki lautan rezeki yang tak bertepi..berikanlah aku secedok rezeki dari lautan Mu..kurniakanlah aku rezeki sekadarnya agar aku tidak leka dengan nikmatMU..aku bersyukur dengan segala nikmat yang Kau berikan..

ya Allah, sesungguhnya Kau lah yang Maha Mendengar dan Pengkabul doa..aku berserah padaMu..

mistakes made..lesson learnt..

in life there have so many choices..in choosing the choices, do you realize any decision made is actually the best ones..it just how we facing whatever will happen..even people always say "choose the best one"..but if we think back, actually all the choices are the best..why i said so??because even we choose the wrong one, we still get something valuable..WE STILL CAN LEARN..yes, learn from mistakes is actually a really good learning process..

regret we made the mistakes, but then we learn to not to do it next time..so actually there's no regretting in making a bad decision..we can learn so much from our own mistakes..

and we didnt know what will happen next in our life..one mistake might create a huge difference in our life..the most importantly is how we need to learn and overcome the mistake that been done..THINK POSITIVE is the first think that we need to do..

i've made mistakes before..and people hate me because of that..but i have learnt so many lessons after that..first thing is who you can trust..what kind of friends that will stand by you no matter what..those who can stand beside you and become the ones who give their hand to hold when you are afraid..those who help you when you fall, and didnt stop giving you encouragement for you to stand up back, even there's the time when you just want to give up life..those who still at your side when the other people keep run away from you..those who know the truth about you..and those who can keep the secret when you said it is a secret..

and from that mistakes, i've learnt whatever happen is actually a lesson planned for us..only Allah knows what is the best for us and how we need to learn about life..we just need to think positively, not just give up..yeah, it's hard, very hard at first to stand up back after the fall..but put together all the strength you have, insya allah everything will be alright..have you heard that actually God tests us because He loves us??it is true..really true..i admit, before this i always forgot about Him..i just take all my responsibilities as a Muslimah very lightly n easily..but then, i've learnt my lesson that actually He wants me to come back to the right path via all the mistakes i've made..quite irony for me, but that is life..only Allah knows what is the best for us and how we can get the best thing..every choice made is actually has the best side of it even we thought that was the wrong one..

then most of all, family..most people forgot about family when they are in their comfort zone.."no..i didnt forget my family..i call them every week..i send money every month.."..but is that love??is it enough for the parents to receive call once a week just to say "hi mom..how are you??how about dad??sisters??brothers??ok, everything is fine..ok, mom..call you later"..but we can spend hours and hours on the phone or internet for our girlfriends and boyfriends that we get to know when we just reach our teenage age..but mom n dad, we know them since we are born..they are the first people celebrated and welcomed us to the world..actually, the same went with me..but then i've learnt my lesson..anything happen to me, my family is the one who come first to support me..upside down, they will be there..always..actually they are the truly best friends ever..Abah, Mama..im so glad i have you two in my life..Angah, Uda, Kak Cik, Kakak..thanks for being the clown, the counselor, the nurse, the doctor, my best friends..you all are my everything.. :)

so, dont afraid if you made a mistake..it just one test from God to make you learn..be happy and think positively..at least, when you made the mistake, you know you shouldnt done it in the first place, and you will not repeat it again in your whole life..and most of all, you can tell everyone that actually Allah loves you, that's why He still gives you the chance to learn and live..so, chill!!! :)

p/s: think before you act..think about the consequences..and think positively..improve your live..everything will be fine :)

observation: a good husband from a lady's eyes.. (just some of the characteristics)

it's been a long time that i just made the draft but didnt post anything here..life being hectic bcoz i start working..thank God i found a permanent job 4 this 1 n half year im here..but syesly, it is really hard..i swear, it's a very tough job..oowh..actually i got a job with optus, 1 of d telecommunication service in aussie..if malaysia, it's like digi kot..hehehe..

oowh..actually dis time i want 2 share smthg dat im observing in aussie..

it cant b denied that aussie men r so kind, romantic, understanding n gentlemen, especially as a husband and a father..y i said so??
1. if u walk at a park, beach, supermarket, or anywhere, u can c dat dis men holding their babies n kids instead of moms..they know they r stronger than d women..so gentlemen n understanding..n d moms can shop the groceries..u know dat moms r d cooks in d house so they know wat 2 buy better than d men..m i right??so here we can see dat they r sharing d responsibilities..
2. i've worked with some families in Australia as a housekeeper or babysitter..wat i can see is while the moms doing their core houseworks/works (even some of them not), the dads will take care of the babies/kids..he will play with them at d backyard or bring them 2 d park..even some would say "dont disturb mommy..mommy's working"..so heart-melting..
3. 3 out of 4 families that i've been worked with, the dads r d ones who did the tuck-in-the-kids-on-the-bed thing..even they will read the bedtime stories to the kids..and 2 out of 3 the moms joining in, and one of them was hugging the baby girl while the dad reading the stories..so happy family style..and even the baby cry in the night, the husband will get up n heat the milk in the microwave 4 d baby..n this is a true story..i saw it with my own eyes..
4. the dads r so romantic with their children..they treat them with full of love and like their kids r princes/princesses, like their lovers..so u just can imagine how they treat their wife..there's a scene where this girl was sulking with their parents..a tough time for her mom..then her dad came and try to soften her heart..and he did it!!he make her laugh..and her mom told me "ooowh..dis girl already stole my boyfriend and she is soo daddy's girl"

i didnt mean dat malaysian guys or other guys from other countries is bad..no!!!!it just, there have differences of the ways men treating their families in malaysia & aussie (other countries i dont know..never been there 2 observe)..so we might take the good things as the guidance and improve the not-good ones..

and i really hope my future husband can b like one of them (just the characters ok, didnt mean any aussie man ok..but if God's will, i just accept him with all my heart..hehehe)  :P

p/s 1: for any guys who read this..please think back..can u b like one of them??if yes, i can say dat all women r hoping 2 have a husband like u..so, b proud if u r a romantic, understanding, kind, and gentleman..fill ur life with love, man!!!

p/s 2: when i told my mom about my stories n observation, mama said "that's ur abah" with a smile..weee~~abah..im so proud that i have u as my dad..even mama proud of having u as her husband..wish i could have one like u as my future hubby.. :) see..a proof that a malaysian guy also can b understanding, kind, generous, romantic, n gentleman like dis..it can b happen anywhere, or whoever u r, or whenever u come from..

something dat i cant say out loud bcoz im just a dark, sinned shadow..

people said if there's people hurting you, you just shut up n dont make urself lower 2 his/her level..but what if it's hurt you so damn much until u couldnt stand it anymore?? should u just shut up and watch n listen whatever they have said n done??

one mistake from u is enough 2 b hated by other people..but hundreds mistakes from other people towards u is ok, forgettable..is it fair??

this people want u 2 beg them 4 apologies..but how bout them??not even a word of sorry being heard..ooowh, it just because one mistake dat u made n they hate u, so u r so damn devil n they so white angels..

it is hard 2 apologies..it is hard 2 forget..yeah, i know n i understand..but im also a human..same goes with u..u want me 2 respect u, but u treat me like im a frozen doll..is it fair??

if i speak up, u just ignore..if i keep quiet, u just dont get it enough 2 hurt me more n more..why??n why u pretend of being my friends if u hate me??it's hurt me even more if u just back-stabbing me silently bcoz i think u r my friends..i trust u..

aah..it's hard 4 me 2 speak up anything just bcoz i m d sinned one..not u..but please do listen..i m also a human who still have feelings..n yeah i m d sinned one but im trying 2 change..how bout u??just keep talking bout religion things doesnt make u r d angel..n sorry 2 say, i've lost my respect towards u already..

so damn tired..so damn sleepy..so damn hungry.

the story begins on Saturday 10th July 2010..

6.30 pm - woke up n get ready 2 go 2 work at leichhardt..yesterday a man called me and askes me 2 come 4 a trial period 4 a work at a boutique named CELEGANCE..n he gave me this website 2 have a brief about what is the boutique sells..u want 2 know more, click this link.. celegance boutique

7.30pm - walked in the mist 2 go d macquarie university station..damn it's cold like u sit in d freezer..checked the temperature, it was 3degree..didnt take any breakfast xcept a glass of juice bcause felt not hungry..the journey was about 1 hour n a half..taking d train 2 town hall n then took d 438 bus 2 d parramatta road at leichhardt..

9.30am - arrived at parramatta road n searching 4 d boutique..it just small one, but wow!!it is a boutique..n from outside, i can see the dresses inside..n oo my gosh!!im so excited..but it opens at 10 am and i need 2 wait outside untill Chris, the owner came 2 open it..he told me 2 come at 10 am..but seemed dat i arrived earlier..

10.10am - Chris arrived n welcomed me..he just briefed me about the shop a little bit n then customers come..a bride-2-b, 3 bridesmaids, d bride-2-b's mother n her future mother-in-law..they came 2 try their dresses dat they ordered b4..STUNNING!!but there's some adjustment that Chris need 2 do because 1 of d bridesmaids lost a lot of weight..so her dress bcame so loose..then i learnt dat this boutique actually is a boutique where u can come in and give d design dat u want, consult d designer which is Chris himself, n d dress is specially made 4 u with ur own measurement..n it usually takes 6 weeks 2 make a dress which is handmade at its own factory at vietnam..n then so many people came in n out n i've learnt a lot in just a short while..huh~~damn tired because didnt sit at all 4 about 6 hours..n wat i can say bout those people who came in, they r so damn rich 2 make their own dress because a minimum cost 4 a made-2-measure & own-customized dress is $8++ ..basically, 4 6hours of trial, there's 8 bride-2-bs bringing in their bridesmaids n some with their mothers, some with the husband-2-bs, some came 2 made the dresses 4 d flower girls, a mom accompany her 10-y.o daughter 2 make a dress 4 her companion function, 4 ladies came in 2 made their own dresses 4 a function, and about 6-7 dresses being tried out dat day n what i can say about d dresses is gorgeous..hope i can have my own 1 one day..then Chris told me that he will contact me back within next week 2 confirm either i got d job or not..put ur hands together n please pray 4 me dat i will get d job bcoz im so glad if i do..please3x..i know there's many girls dying 2 work in d such boutique, surrounding by beautiful dresses n cute kids who come in 2 try their flower-girls dresses..

4.30pm - arrived at my room n feeling so damn tired n having a bad back-pain (period-pain) because i was standing 4 6hours in d 1st day of menstruation..sleep 4 a while..

6.15pm - received a call from a woman asked 4 a favor 2 her babysit her 1-year-old baby girl 4 a night bcoz she n her husband got a party 2 attend..at 1st, im so reluctant 2 take it but then "ok" because she said she didnt know any1 2 take care of d baby n she already put an ad at gumtree.com dat evening but nobody reply..n she got my number from her friend who i babysitted her son before..n she also asked me to clean the house n will pay $100 4 d night..then she asked me either i can drive because she n her husband cant drive bcoz they r drunk..oook, now im worried about d baby..she also cant remember her address n told me 2 look 4 d address at d ad that she posted..10minutes from wynyard station..should b no prob..asked noni 2 accompany me, but she said she's too tired after had a dance practice dat morning..n then i asked azizul n he just woke up n agreed 2 go with me as i said we will share the pay..then we ran 2 catch up d train afraid we going 2 b late..then she asked 2 go 2 d newtown station n she will pick us up at d train station..a long way 2 go there bcoz we need 2 change d train at epping then another change at strathfield..14 stations overall..

8.30pm - arrived at newtown station n asked gjol "is dis newtown??looks so oldtown"..darkness, old buildings, n it seems dead..but when we got out from d station we can see many pubs, bars, restaurants still opens n lots of drunk-people everywhere..n i think it should change d name 2 "gaytown" n "homelesstown" as well..huhuhu..she said she's going 2 b late bcoz she couldnt get out from d surprise wedding party thrown by her cousin..so we're waiting from 30 minutes to 1 hour to 2 hours to 2 hours n a half..could see gay couples n people wearing weird-gothic costumes along d street n drunk people shouting n laughing like crazy..SCARY!!thank God gjol with me..

about 10.45 - 11pm - met d drunk-parents..but her husband was not too drunk as she is at d moment..she kept talking n babbling along d way 2 d house..n gjol was d one who's driving directed by d husband..n on d way, she asked her husband "r u sure dis is d way becoz i cant remember any"..God, please save us!!n oowh, actually d place is not 10minutes from wynyard, it was very far away at jannali..i just realized it when gjol took out d train map d next morning when we were trying 2 find way 2 get back to macquarie university..

when we arrived at d house, it was DISASTER..sriously, i've never see n never imagine dat a house can b in dat mess..n it was smelly with d cats' poops..goss, felt like want 2 throw out at d damn moment..bcoz i was feeling sleepy dat time, i forbid myself 2 watch d time bcoz i knew i got a lot of works 2 do..n at first, i told gjol dat he only accompany me not 2 work with me, but he insisted 2 help..(thank God)..huhuhu..we needed 2 clean the living room, the kitchen, scrub d toilet, n fold the laundry..huuuh~~~then gjol went out 2 send them at a bar bcoz they wanted 2 continue d party while d baby was sleeping in her messy room..n they told me 2 heat d milk in d microwave if d baby woke up n when she get her milk, she will back 2 her sleep n it was 99% dat she will not wake up..it was 4am when we finished all d cleaning works except d toilet because we were so damn tired..n i was still in d period-pain..but then d 1% happened..d baby girl keep crying "i want mummy..i want daddy..i want babu.."babu is her doll..i just can give her babu n told her dat mummy n daddy got work 2 do n they will come back soon..about after 30minutes of crying, then she felt asleep on my chest while i was sitting n hugging her..i can feel my legs cramped..but i couldnt move bcoz i didnt want 2 wake her up n hear her cries again..fell asleep with her on my chest, sitting on d sofa about 15 minutes..then i heard knocks on d door n felt so relief when d parents were back..d mother was so drunk n wasted..but d daddy was cool..daddy took d baby n brought her 2 d room n asked d baby 2 go 2 sleep while he's reading a bedtime story 4 her..i looked at my handset, it was 5.20am..asked gjol 2 set d alarm at 7 so we can go back 2 muv a.s.a.p 4 d dance practice..before i went off into sleep, i was thinking, "am i ready 2 b a mom??..i regret i came here..dis is a new experience..dis is d hardest job ever..im afraid im going 2 b late 4 d practice 2morrow.."

woke up at 8.30..but it was very hard 2 open d eyes..gosh, we r going 2 b late now..then we just quickly scrubbing the toilet n vacuumed d house 4 d last time n make sure everything is ok, then called d parents' handset 2 tell dat we wanted 2 go..d husband came out from d bedroom n sent us 2 d train station..unfortunately, d train station was closed n we needed 2 get d city rail bus 2 d central b then took d train..but suddenly i realized my phone was missing..it might be left at d room or in d car..either i left it unintentionally or it slipped out from d bag..then we walked n tried 2 find d way 2 house again based on gjol's gps in his n97..thank God he got his gps..but we still lost..it took about an hour finding out d right way n luckily we found it after lost twice..sriously i felt guilty..until now, still feeling guilty..pity gjol bcoz he was in a stomachache n d toilet at d house was so not comfortable..n im also worried bcoz of d 'woman's thing' dat i was having n didnt change since last evening..n i needed 2 b strong 2 fight d period pain..

got back 2 muv admin 4 dance practice at 1pm..we were very3x late..n my energy was at 0.5% bcoz i didnt had any meal 4 2days except pistachios n fries..n i know i pissed them off 4 making them waiting 4 a long time..im so soooo sorry..i didnt expect it will happen like this..i didnt expect they will take us away from wynyard as i thought before..i didnt expect that house would be dat mess..i didnt expect dat i couldnt sleep at all night..i didnt expect dat i cant remember d last tme i ate properly (now after i think so many times, it was friday..two days ago dat i ate something properly)..i didnt expect i left d phone..i didnt expect dat we lost d way twice..i didnt expect dat train station would close on dat day..i didnt expect dat i would get dis damn nightmare as an experience..i didnt expect dat i would pissed off people today..if i do, if i knew all dis thing will happen, i will not accept d offer/ give d favour / help her..i would love 2 continue my sleep n go 2 d dance practice, eat well, sleep well..normal life..

but EXPERIENCE IS THE GREATEST TEACHER..think positive, nisya.. :)

p/s: for those who i made you pissed off today, im so sorry..danny, yus, afiq, hilmi, syue, noni, intan, niza, mei, swan, chris..sorry 4 making u all waiting 4 me n gjol..n 4 gjol, im so sorry 4 bringing u a nightmare n thanks a lot 4 being an important part of dis nightmare, in a positive way..

precious things dat i miss

shuffling the pictures in my laptop 2 c which ones dat i should bring 2 d "intercultural performance project" next meeting make me feel homesick..i miss all of them..my Abah, Mama, sisters n brother, Tok Mak n Tok Bah cousins, aunties n uncles, Nik Zaiton, and all of them in Malaysia..

i want 2 go back 2 Malaysia!!!please somebody support 4 d flight.. :'(

Mama,
i miss ur masak lemak cili padi, nasi goreng tom yam, udang sweet sour..i miss ur 'bebelan'..i miss 2 hear stories from u while we r cooking 2gether at d kitchen..i miss 2 c u playing d computer games n getting frustrated when u lost..i miss u very much..

Abah,
i miss 2 hear ur advice..i miss 2 hear ur calm voice reciting d prays during d solat jemaah..i miss ur jokes n laughs..i miss ur voice saying "Along..g bg mkn ayam jap"..i miss ur request 4 anything dat i can cook 4 u..i miss u very much..

Angah,
i miss ur voice singing..i miss ur hairy legs, but u still wearing shorts..i miss 'kutuk' ur mcdonald-hair..i miss having fight with u..i miss 2 share stories with u..i miss u so much..

Uda,
i miss 2 share stories with u..i miss 2 nag u all day..i miss 2 get mad at ur laziness..i miss our dressing time..i miss 2 watch movies with u..i miss 2 shout 2 call u come out from ur room..i miss u very much..

kak Chik,
i miss 2 'membebel' at u..i miss 2 look at u playing with the chicken..i miss 2 catch u and tickle u all over..i miss 2 bite u..i miss it when u pull face over me..i miss 2 'kerah' u do d works..i miss u very much..i miss ur mispronounce of 'r'..

Kakak,
i miss 2 tickle u..i miss 2 hear ur stories..i miss 2 'mengajuk' ur stories..i miss 2 hear u sing with a wrong lyrics..i miss ur dirty face when u play with d mud n sands..i miss ur cry..i miss u very much..

I MISS MY FAMILY VERY MUCH..

"in your own words.."

im joining a program called as "intercultural performance project:in your own words"..at first i just want to join it because i was thinking dat this might b a good opportunity to know other people from other cultures and background..and perhaps it can help me to strengthen the confidence in communicating in English..and it is a performance project, soo my type..why shouldnt i try, right??

n today is going 2 b d 3rd day of the meeting..but seriously n honestly im so excited (even today i need 2 wear those damn suit dat i hate 2 wear it..huhuhu) why?? because even it's only 2 meetings dat we had together (yesterday n d day before), i've learnt so much..n i dont know about d others, but i can feel d bond between us..d feeling is just there after we shared about ourselves and our family at d day 1..i didnt even know them before (except fiza @ aza)..n now, we have shared so much about our life which make the relationship and the bonding become stronger n stronger..2 days of meetings make us become friends like we've known each other for 2 months..we just shared everything..(even not everything, but still, the story of our life that we might not tell 2 any strangers)

and actually i have no idea about wat the performance will b look like..because Dangerous Daniel and Silly Sally said we are not going to do a stage performance..so.....i dont know..but so far, i like it..because it has the surprise element and actually we r not going 2 b practicing about wat we r going 2 perform..we just getting 2 know each other n in d same time we r practicing 4 d performance..indirectly..lees tension, friendly environment..

and indirectly, these project actually remind me and set me straight about my mission n vision here..i m soooo not regretting my decision 2 join dis thing even i've been left alone 2 take care of d house n all my housemates n friends at the melbourne, enjoying themselves..i m enjoying myself with this project..i've got new friends, new experiences, new lessons, and new stories of life which i cant get d same things anywhere else..sooo glad n sooo thankful.. :D

so this is us..im not there because i was d one wo took d pic..hehehe..

from left: Sexy Siddarth, Dangerous Daniel, Silly Sally, Quiet Christian, Crazy Christina, Daring Daniel, Funky Fiza, Cookie Kim..

oowh..there's more..Smart Stella, Kate, and Enid..sorry Kate n Enid..i cant remember ur adjective..huhuhu..n Syue n Noni will b joining us next week.. :)