Thursday, April 28, 2011

when a BAD girl babbling..

ooowh damn...lama giler xbukak blog sendiri..hahaha...

btw lately im so busy..even during the holiday..hehehe..long story short, got a few new friends..ok my freinds collection (erk, sounds terrrible there..) now officially become world wide..hehehe..proud with myself, at least got more opportunities to practice my English yang still terketar2 nk kluar dari mulut sometimes..hohoho..i got friends from fiji, india, dubai, peru, mexican, london, china, japan, korea, mediterranean, middle east, etc n of coz australian..hehehe..pas n nk g travel around the world senang..hehehe..bajet cm blh je nk travel2 n..xpe2, one of my wishlist to do in life..hope so..hehehe..n watever people want to say for me to be socialize with them, up to u wat, i know im a bad girl..but even a bad girl know her limit dude..

nape blogspot xde wat application for iphone ek??ssh tol..lappy tgh masuk icu now.. :(

now im addicted dgn love stories..hohoho..wat can i say, being single for 2 years not easy..feel like i dont have dat feeling my heart saying "love??wat is dat??"huhuhu..haru..

ooowh..i promised to load up about my work story..hehehe..but i decided to upload dat story when i finally quit all the job so i can tell about everything..basically now, im finding apperentices to replace me..hehehe..bajet kan..hehehe..

now totally, suke hati blog..klw i nk mbebel ke, nk mgarut ke, kecik hati ke, terasa ke...dats me babe..u dont like it??push close button now..

n btw, i just dont get it..why people can terasa hati with me, but i cant terasa hati with them ek??ooowh..i get it..i m a BAD im supposed to b angel..terasa hati pn telan jek..xley ckp kat sape2..klw ckp, means i buruk kan owg..ok.. :( *zip mulut*

a lot of things happen in life..but think positive sha..everything happen for a least there will b something u can and need to learn..for example, DONT EVER TELL UR SECRET to anybody..they might use it to fire u back..n then u r d one going to b hanguis tbakar..oowh, another thing i dont get it..why people asked u to explain but they actly didnt have d intention to listen???why ask in d first place??weird...or is it only me think like dat??shh..secret k..hehehe.. ;P

however, im happy with my life now..i just do watever i want to do..even sometimes nk kna jaga hati org lain so damn hipocrite now..shhh***t..

emm..mama, not d good daugther dat u think..i tried but i gave is so hard to keep up with d social expectation..

btw, is there anybody out there want to pay d government for me so i can stay in australia??i love malaysia, i love my just dat i hate the social expectation..u suppose to hipocrite n b good n nice all d time..dey, im no angel..

before dis, i used to think to get married early coz i want to b a good girl, good daugther, good wife, n bla bla bla..but not, dont think i want to get married..unless ada anak raja nk masuk meminang..hehehe...

ooowh..ramai wat muke tkejut when see me outside now..hahaha..u want me to be bad here, the bad girl is coming out..hah!!!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

job offers..

summer holiday is nearly reach its end..another 2 weeks 2 go..huh, im glad actually..bcoz it's been a long time since the last time i open a book 2 study..gosh, afraid my brain be in the holiday mood too long make it hard 2 start again..

today i feel like writing again..about all those works i had done and still doing.. *again*..hehehe..*yeah i know..same topic..boring* but yeah, these whole things really make me learn bout life..

*oowh, btw, i got the time 2 write today bcoz im not working today..things going slow since the holiday nearly ends*

in Aussie, it's kind of easy 2 find a part time or casual job..just go online at n browse under the job categories..and u can even post ur own advertisement 4, here wat i posted in the 2 promote myself *4 work k*..

"Hi i am 22-year-old international female student searching for any job available in sydney for this summer. I have experiences in housekeeping/cleaning/babysitting/nursing/nanny. My availability during this summer is full-time, last until February. However, i would love to continue the job after that as a part-time/casual job. 
The rates are negotiable. Please do contact me. Thank you."

n then i left my email address and phone no there so that they can easily contact ad got hit for about 80something within 1week and until now total profile view is 289..and yeah, i received a lot of replies via email, text messages, and phone calls..but there's some of the replies are nonsense and crazy..want 2 know why i said so??here, i put some of the reply that i received..

1. "hi, im a 30 years old bussiness man and have my own private house at milson point. can you do massage? no experience required. i can teach you, and we can experiment with each other. $200 per day."

2. "i need a housekeeper. im a carrier woman who always travel overseas and i live with my boyfriend. i need somebody to take care of the house and my boyfriend as well. all his need should be provided. all the accommodation will be provided. and if im home, we can be involved together in the sexual act. rates are depends on your request."

3. "hello. i have an unusual position for u. i live with my boyfriend and we have 2 sons. we really want a baby girl in our family. but i cant be pregnant anymore, so we are searching for a girl who can give birth to a healthy baby girl. all the expenses will be provided, and also a special treatment for you. for at least 11months, you can stay with us."

4. "are u interested to be an exotic housekeeper?costume will be provided. $100 per hour."

5. "i need a housekeeper to do all the general cleaning. $20 per hour. if you can do massage too, $70 per hour. if you can do sex, $100 per hour."

there's a lot more of replies like these..but i just pick d ones that i felt so pissed off but in the same time laughing my lungs out when i read it..n unfortunately, i rejected all of the offers that similar to dis so not into any of those kinds..what are these people thinking..and seriously, i couldnt believe that there's people like this in this world..but, to those people, thank you so much for giving me this experience that cant be found anywhere else and not everyone got it..just make my life colourful..hehehe..

p/s: next entry, maybe i will share about i learn during working part-time in australia..lots of ideas, but just pray i have time 2 write..

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

another piece of stories

it's been a long...long ago since i updated my blog kan..about 2 months..

as usual, life is full of stories..there's some of the stories dat we want to forget but some we want to keep in fresh in mind..

summer holiday alrdy started..almost a month dh pn..

emm..i started working..AGAIN..but now as a cleaner yg berjaya (konon2 ny la kan..) hahaha..

some of my friends are wondering, why i took jobs that far away from my place..for me, this is the only way for me to be at that place..if not, i will never go there..for instance, now i'm working at a clinic, as a cleaner of course, which is about 1 hour and 45 minutes from my place..WOW, i know, WOW..

then, nk dijadikan cerita, my employer's name is also nisha..n she's a muslim too..great..

another job that i got is at turramurra..which is about 30minutes from my place..n her name is nousha ( pronounce as niusha)..she comes from two boys, asha, 7 and arya, 5...never met her husband yet..n syesly, her house is really nice..not much of furniture, contemporary style (which is i really3x like), simple, and yet, easy to clean up..hehehe..and she is really nice..

yeah..what a coincidence rite.. :)

and today actually i got another job for cleaning..but it still in consideration tho..the employer seems scary..he's an indian and actually, i couldnt get much of what he's saying because he stutter..i think maybe because of he's fluency in english influenced a bit..

speaking of which, i think my English is getting better..even sometimes the grammar is messed up, i lost the words/vocabs, the structure is 'tonggang terbalik'..but i think im getting better in speaking n wirting n texting in english..hehehe..i can feel my confident to communicate in English is higher than during the first three months here..n i even dream in english kan..hehehe..just like Pamela said, when u used the language in most of the time in your daily life, it will come into your dreams..before, i thought it might be impossible for me to become like that..but i had this dream last 2 days in english..seems like in that dream, i was at the beach waiting for someone..but i dont know who..then that someone come to me and said "u need to come with me..i really need your help.." and i said "why me??what can i do for you??" but then after that all i remember i hugged her like a long-lost friend..then we told each other we will miss each other and hoping will see each other again..then she took off with this handsome young man, which is my ex-boyfriend..and i took off with a man too..i know that man, but prefer not to mention his name here..speaking of that man, i really miss him..he's my best friend..the best friend ever..

and being about almost one year in sydney, people always said "malaysians usually have a very good english.."
WOW..these people must have mis-heard..manglish is one of the pidgin ( bahasa rojak) which can lead to language/s destruction, u know..i am proud to be malaysian, but hye, malaysians, especially malays, let's improve our languages..we should be bilingual to survive these days..

oowh..ok..seems that im off the track a bit sleepy and tired me to update my blog frequently k..even nobody reading it..just something i want to keep for the sake of myself..hehehe.. :)

Friday, October 22, 2010

a piece of puzzle of heart

satu, dua, tiga
saya sayang awk
tiga, empat, lima
awak tak mampu untuk saya capai
enam, tujuh, lapan
awak tak nak kat saya
sembilan, sepuluh
dengan selamba saya kata
xpe la awak tak nak kat saya
tapi saya nak kat awk
sape taw jodoh ada antara kite

one, two, three
i dont care what life going to be in the future
three, four, five
gravity wont hold me down
five, six, seven
i will fly if i want God will
seven, eight, nine
help me when im in need, friends
i know u won't, that's why i only put faith on Allah

awak di sana
saya tak pasti awak ke yang akan menemai saya sepanjang hayat saya
saya tak pasti juga awak ke yang saya akan cintai seiring nafas saya
tapi bermula saat awak melafazkan akad nanti
saya berjanji pada awak
dan juga diri sendiri
cinta saya untuk awak akan bersatu bersama nadi dan nafas saya

awak di sana
saya tak taw siapa awak
mungkin manusia yang saya pernah kenali
mungkin juga kita tak pernah berjumpa
tapi jika benar awak dan saya ditakdirkan bersama
sepuluh tahun pun tak mampu menghalang kita
siapa awak??
bilakah awak akan muncul??
di mana saya akan jumpa awak??
tiada siapa pun mampu menjawabnya buat masa ini
saya harap awak setia menanti saya
seperti saya menanti awak
sehingga ditentukan olehNya
saat kita bertemu dan mengenali sesama sendiri

butterfly comes hummingbird flies away
cradle the world when the storm comes
shivering with fright and excitement
love can be the shine or the dark cloud
can make you dance while you are swimming
or you drown out of breath in the air
crazy with the flowers blooming around you
or dying tree scaring you
but you cannot deny
love is a piece of puzzle of heart
your life wont be complete without it
embrace dont be disgrace
it is a great gift from Almighty

p/s: awak jangan kecewa nanti saya banyak benda nak cerita..dan awak juga akan berpenglipurlara dengan saya..jangan letih ya.. ;)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

last day~~~

feel bored, dont know what to do..feel like want to eat 'bepang bebola'..tried to find d recipe online..but couldnt find it..n the updating my fb status..n something caught my eyes on the home page..meen's status promoting the islamic awareness week at our university..n there a link for the trailer video..*click here to watch the video*

the first question that been asked is "HOW WOULD YOU SPEND YOUR LAST DAY?" and while people in the video giving out their answers, i was thinking the same would i spend my last day?? WOW!!seriously, i dont know how to answer it because i was thinking about a lot of think..moreover, im in sydney and my family at might be really3x hard for both of us..maybe some of the list below can be done before my time is up..

1. ask for forgiveness from everybody sincerely
2. solat taubat to ask forgiveness from The Only One, Almighty Allah
3. skype with mama and abah to ask their forgiveness and to give my last will to my sisters and brother
4. write last words at fb note for everybody who knows me (family and friends)
5. call the person who i love to tell him that i still love him even we are not 'in relationship' anymore..and ask for his forgiveness too because i broke his heart before..the possible sentence i will said "awk, sy mntk maaf sgala slh slp sy kat awk..maaf jgk sbb sy kte sy blh nk hlangkan cnta sy utk awk dr hti sy, tp sbnr ny tak..bkurang myb, tp sy xmmpu nk lupuskan semua..benar jodoh kt takde d dunia..dh dtentukan umur sy tak doakan awk jmp 'bidadari' awk..kt xdpt bsama d dunia n..doakan sy bakal d ltk kan bsama golongan org mukmin..klw blh, bacakan lah yaasiin utk sy ye..smoga awk sntiasa bahagia"
6. call my best buddy..he did a lot for me..he gives me strength whenever i needed..always all-ears and being a good listeners and advisor..
7. call tok mak and tok bah..i miss them so much..ask for their forgiveness too because i've been such a naughty granddaugther..
8. try to solve all my debts if i got the money..if not, i will write a will and 'amanahkan' my closest friend here, syue and noni to settle it after the allowances come into my account..
9. send all my clothes and stuff to malaysia so that my sisters can use them without wasting it here..and some of the stuff will goes to 'kanak-kanak miskin' (poor children) in Malaysia..
10. mandi wajib in hope i will die in a clean condition and read the al-Quran which i've been left for a very long time.

goosebumps when im writing this entry..i hope Allah still gives me more times to live my life..i've been bad..i did a lot of sins..give me chance ya Allah to be a better person..and if, if you want to take away my soul, please let me hug my mama, abah, angah, uda, k.chik, kakak, tok mak n tok bah 1st for the last time..

Monday, October 11, 2010

crush and crash

a lot of things happened since i posted my previous post..

mfest --> mgm --> grace hotel --> shangri la hotel

semua ny dance expected, kat sydney mesti byk peluang to dance more..i love it.. :))

try to remember back, d 1st moment i was joining just because of it was a cool thing to do and syesly i wanted to be famous that time..well, biasalah kan, masa remaja..huhuhu..and of coz dat time my family didnt approve it..i was rebellious..d more they forbid me, d more i become wild..hahaha..pity my parents that time..i made they cried a lot..what a bad girl.. :(
*mama, sorry..**

now, here i am at sydney..thank God He still give me another chance to live and correct my mistakes as far as i can, coz i cant turn back time..the difference now and then is now, my parents have my back in everything i do, including dancing..they started to accept it since i was in glad..tq mama..tq abah..they never have the chance to come lively at my performance so far, but each time i perform, they, especially mama will ask "ada record x??mama nk tgok.." and since i was started to wear scarf, mama and abah always remind me "menari 2 menari tudung pakai, jgn bukak..sia2 je.." hehehe..syg mama..i will always remember..

when i've been joining dancing for a long time, dancing become my passion..especially malay tradisional dance..i feel like this is my responsibilities to mantain the culture..not only mantain, i want to implement it in my generation and the future not the best dancer, im not a great one..but i have this dream of opening a dance studio, just to teach tradisional dance to kids and teens maybe for free or they can pay how much they want to..mama said it could be an alternative way to prevent these youngsters to 'melepak' doing nothing..or maybe i can mix with some of modern dance to attract them..that's why im trying to learn as much as i can here in sydney..i really hope this dream can be true 1 day.. (in that case, i need to find a husband who has a same interest with me in dancing..hehehe..or he might not be a dancer, but as long as he can support me, i'll be thankful enough)

i started become a choreographer when i was studying in ipgm kampus pulau first opportunity is to teach students at school..then, share my knowledge with my friends at college..we enjoyed our moment there..and then here in sydney, i got the opportunity to choreograph for malaysian festival at tumbalong park, darling was a really great opportunity even i made a mistake by starting the practice late so some of the routine been cancelled because we didnt have much time to practice it as some of the dancers are first time dancing..but i was a bit regret..because i tend to compete with another person..i was not sincere with my intention..and it turned out upside-down bcoz i feel miserable..competition is good, but i just feel wrong this just like i was not thankful enough with the opportunity i have..

whatever it is..i want to dance more..but i think my time is nearly finish..maybe this 2 years in sydney will be my last years in dancing..maybe after this i will be teaching and sharing my lil knowledge with somebody else..maybe..God's will..insya allah.. :))

Friday, September 10, 2010

somebody help me please..

chris: im introverted so i dont care what others think of me
chris: introverts done go well at parties
chris: don't^
nisya aziz: emm..
nisya aziz: n y u dont try 2 even change dat
nisya aziz: u seems like give up
nisya aziz: n let dat things just happen
nisya aziz: i know
nisya aziz: myb u r tired of life
nisya aziz: bcoz smtmes i also tired n fed up with life
nisya aziz: but d thing is
nisya aziz: dont let life mold u
nisya aziz: u mold ur life
chris: ahah yea im not very impressed with this planet at all
nisya aziz: but u like it or not
chris: you are tight about that
nisya aziz: u r living on dis planet
nisya aziz: n these people
chris: so what.. for less than 100 years..
chris: that is insignificant
chris: why should i care about anything
nisya aziz: even 1 seconds can b significant
chris: nup i dont believe it
nisya aziz: trust me
nisya aziz: u should believe it
chris: if humans survive for 100 million years
[6:03:12 PM] chris: that is not even 0.000000000000000000001% of the age of the universe
[6:03:12 PM] nisya aziz: u should appreciate ur life more
[6:03:21 PM] nisya aziz: ok
[6:03:35 PM] nisya aziz: dont compare d universe n human
[6:03:41 PM] chris: why not
[6:04:09 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz can u imagine if human live as long as d universe??
[6:04:24 PM] nisya aziz: there will b no universe at all
[6:04:30 PM] chris: im sure the universe is abundant with life
[6:04:35 PM] nisya aziz: coz human r destroyer
[6:04:54 PM] nisya aziz: dats y human live just in a short period
[6:05:01 PM] nisya aziz: n bcoz of dat short period
[6:05:09 PM] nisya aziz: u should appreciate it
[6:05:18 PM] nisya aziz: n God made human 2 do so
[6:05:33 PM] chris: yes humans are destroyers.. so i hope they never colonise another planet and become extinct on earth
[6:05:56 PM] nisya aziz: it can b possible
[6:06:16 PM] nisya aziz: but myb after many2 generation in d future
[6:06:19 PM] nisya aziz: who knows
[6:06:40 PM] nisya aziz: if u keep thinking
[6:06:44 PM] nisya aziz: like dis
[6:07:03 PM] nisya aziz: i think it's better if u commit suicide now
[6:07:16 PM] chris: yes you are right it is better if i do that
[6:07:20 PM] nisya aziz: n y u r still live until now??
[6:07:35 PM] nisya aziz: im not asking u 2 kill urself
[6:07:42 PM] nisya aziz: but please
[6:07:46 PM] chris: it is a good question
[6:07:48 PM] nisya aziz: appraciate ur life
[6:08:00 PM] nisya aziz: even u dont believe in God
[6:08:02 PM] chris: i have contemplated suicide many many times
[6:08:10 PM] chris: but i dont have the willpower for it
[6:08:11 PM] chris: also
[6:08:28 PM] nisya aziz: God still want u 2 live
[6:08:45 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz u still have d chance 2 think about ur life
[6:08:48 PM] chris: god is not real
[6:08:51 PM] chris: and if he was
[6:08:55 PM] chris: i would be his enemy
[6:09:10 PM] nisya aziz: honestly
[6:09:38 PM] chris: the useless god cant stop suffering on a massive scale
[6:09:41 PM] chris: what use is he ?
[6:09:52 PM] chris: no use to anyone
[6:10:40 PM] chris: anyway, the laws of nature dont require a god
[6:10:47 PM] chris: they work by themself
[6:11:11 PM] chris: throw your koran in the bin and read a book on physics
[6:11:26 PM] chris: that is the true god
[6:16:30 PM] nisya aziz: n where does d human get d brain 2 think about physics??
[6:16:38 PM] chris: evolution
[6:17:07 PM] nisya aziz: n how d nature can b running by themselves if there's no 'director' of it??
[6:17:20 PM] nisya aziz: n how evolution happened??
[6:17:27 PM] chris: chemical reactions
[6:17:35 PM] nisya aziz: nothing is happening bcoz it just want 2 happen
[6:17:58 PM] nisya aziz: n how chemical reaction happened??
[6:18:36 PM] nisya aziz: have u ever think how even 1 atom can b existed??
[6:18:55 PM] chris: those sorts of questions require a lifetime of study to understand, everyone else just assumes that its magic and a god did it.. that is the lazy way to think
[6:18:57 PM] nisya aziz: u want me 2 throw my qoran??
[6:19:10 PM] nisya aziz: but have u ever read it??
[6:19:30 PM] nisya aziz: it's not just a book or just words in it
[6:19:34 PM] nisya aziz: if u read it
[6:19:38 PM] nisya aziz: n understand it
[6:19:53 PM] nisya aziz: it is about physics,biology, chemistry
[6:20:24 PM] nisya aziz: all of d things happened n will happen stated in dat book
[6:20:28 PM] chris: i have read some passages from it, some of it is good philosiphy, some of it is cultist nonsense
[6:20:38 PM] nisya aziz: for example??
[6:20:53 PM] nisya aziz: give me 1 example of dat cultist nonsense
[6:21:04 PM] nisya aziz: i will explain it 2 u
[6:21:20 PM] chris: haha i read those many years ago, i spend my reading time looking at science journals
[6:21:52 PM] nisya aziz: n do u know dat science comes from dat book dat u want me 2 throw??
[6:22:09 PM] chris: the koran coudnt tell you how astar is born
[6:22:17 PM] chris: or how to treat lukeamia
[6:22:30 PM] chris: or how many galaxies there are in the universe
[6:22:31 PM] nisya aziz: n i think u know dat many of scientist comes from people who study dat book
[6:22:37 PM] chris: or how many other planets have life on them
[6:23:18 PM] chris: the koran cant tell you how the moon formed
[6:23:23 PM] nisya aziz: but earlier people started 2 think n study bout all of dis bcoz they study qoran
[6:23:37 PM] chris: no
[6:23:41 PM] nisya aziz: yes
[6:23:51 PM] chris: i would say most scientists have benever even seen a koran
[6:25:02 PM] chris: you cant get anything useful done while reading a work of fiction
[6:25:32 PM] chris: you are helping no one
[6:25:37 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[6:25:47 PM] chris: praying is a way you think you're helping when you are really just talking to yourself
[6:25:48 PM] nisya aziz: im not trying to help anybody
[6:26:20 PM] nisya aziz: im just trying to make urself clear
[6:26:59 PM] nisya aziz: life is meant to b live
[6:27:09 PM] chris: says who?
[6:27:22 PM] nisya aziz: n actually praying is helping urself 2 b calm
[6:27:40 PM] nisya aziz: says me
[6:28:09 PM] nisya aziz: n u should know about dta
[6:28:12 PM] nisya aziz: if not
[6:28:23 PM] nisya aziz: y u r still alive now??
[6:28:49 PM] chris: i dont understand how life works, so im not going to just assume things and join a cult
[6:29:07 PM] chris: because the cults know nothing
[6:29:09 PM] chris: they are there to scam people
[6:29:13 PM] chris: gain power
[6:29:14 PM] chris: control people
[6:29:16 PM] chris: etc
[6:29:24 PM] chris: scientology
[6:29:26 PM] chris: classic example
[6:29:35 PM] nisya aziz: if u hate power
[6:29:47 PM] nisya aziz: means u hate urself
[6:30:04 PM] nisya aziz: coz even within urself
[6:30:11 PM] nisya aziz: u also got ur own power
[6:30:18 PM] chris: i dont hate or love myself
[6:30:36 PM] nisya aziz: n y??
[6:30:49 PM] chris: loving yourself means you have an ego
[6:30:57 PM] chris: hating yourself means you have a mental illness
[6:31:13 PM] nisya aziz: everybody has his/her own ego
[6:31:41 PM] nisya aziz: it just d matter is how high is ur level of ego
[6:31:56 PM] nisya aziz: n i can say dat u have ur own ego
[6:32:30 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz u r optimist with ur own thought n believe
[6:32:49 PM] nisya aziz: n i have my own ego
[6:33:17 PM] nisya aziz: n i have myy own mental illness
[6:33:26 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz smtmes i hate myself
[6:33:35 PM] nisya aziz: especially if i did mistakes
[6:33:57 PM] nisya aziz: n i believe u also have ur own mental illness
[6:34:13 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz there's a time u hate urself
[6:34:23 PM] chris: when?
[6:34:29 PM] nisya aziz: as u said u tried 2 commit suicide b4??
[6:34:30 PM] chris: i dont hate myself as i said
[6:34:37 PM] nisya aziz: m i rite??
[6:34:42 PM] chris: thats not about hating myself
[6:34:51 PM] chris: thats about rejecting life
[6:34:54 PM] chris: as in i think its rubbish
[6:35:03 PM] chris: not worth the time
[6:35:04 PM] nisya aziz: rejecting life = hating urself
[6:35:08 PM] chris: incorrect
[6:35:11 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz u dont want 2 live
[6:35:24 PM] chris: it doesnt mean i want to be someone else
[6:35:32 PM] nisya aziz: u dont want 2 receive d life as u r n u have now
[6:35:43 PM] nisya aziz: u hate urself 4 dat
[6:35:48 PM] nisya aziz: u hate urlife
[6:35:52 PM] chris: nope
[6:35:57 PM] nisya aziz: n u dont want it anymore
[6:35:57 PM] chris: still incorrect
[6:36:02 PM] chris: if i hated my life
[6:36:06 PM] chris: i would rather be someone else
[6:36:09 PM] chris: and live
[6:36:13 PM] chris: that is not the case
[6:36:26 PM] chris: i can pretty much do what i want
[6:36:36 PM] chris: i could marry, have a family , a nice home etc etc
[6:36:45 PM] nisya aziz: then wat case is dat when u were trying 2 kill urself??
[6:37:08 PM] nisya aziz: n wat case is dat when u said u dont want to live ur life??
[6:37:30 PM] nisya aziz: n wat case is dat when u dont want 2 appreciate wat u have now??
[6:37:34 PM] chris: you are someone who just assumes people who commit suicide hated something or
[6:37:37 PM] chris: had a bad life
[6:37:42 PM] chris: that is var from true
[6:37:44 PM] chris: far
[6:37:47 PM] nisya aziz: i dont say dat u have a bad life
[6:37:55 PM] nisya aziz: im pretty sure u r not
[6:38:03 PM] chris: i dont have a bad life
[6:38:06 PM] nisya aziz: it just u dont appreciate it
[6:38:21 PM] chris: i want to experience death
[6:38:36 PM] nisya aziz: n then u want to live again??
[6:38:42 PM] nisya aziz: not a chance bby
[6:38:47 PM] chris: and as i said, i think this is a stupid planet
[6:38:54 PM] nisya aziz: we dont know wat will happen after we dead
[6:39:06 PM] chris: i want to die, because i can imagine a better world
[6:39:16 PM] nisya aziz: IMAGINE???
[6:39:42 PM] nisya aziz: dis is reality
[6:40:06 PM] nisya aziz: n if it is mot a better life there after u dead
[6:40:14 PM] chris: as i said
[6:40:19 PM] chris: less that 100 years remember
[6:40:19 PM] nisya aziz: wat do u want 2 do??
[6:40:35 PM] chris: dieing 50 years early wont make any difference anyway
[6:41:07 PM] nisya aziz: n wat make difference if u die today??
[6:41:14 PM] chris: nope
[6:41:19 PM] nisya aziz: everyday is just d same
[6:41:37 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz u just b in ur comfort zone
[6:41:46 PM] nisya aziz: no adventure in life
[6:41:55 PM] chris: i have had plenty of adventure
[6:42:04 PM] chris: you have gone back to thinking its about me and what i want
[6:42:11 PM] nisya aziz: u just choose 1 straight way 4 ur whole life
[6:42:11 PM] chris: i dont want anything
[6:42:23 PM] chris: if i dont want anything, then why should i live ?
[6:42:30 PM] nisya aziz: yeah
[6:42:34 PM] nisya aziz: y should u??
[6:42:42 PM] chris: you want things
[6:42:50 PM] chris: you want a bf, marrage family etc
[6:42:55 PM] nisya aziz: i want 2 do many things in my life
[6:43:00 PM] chris: you have a reason to live
[6:43:04 PM] nisya aziz: i want 2 have my own adventure
[6:43:06 PM] chris: you want
[6:43:08 PM] chris: i dont want
[6:43:12 PM] nisya aziz: i want 2 live my life
[6:43:23 PM] nisya aziz: n y should u??
[6:43:35 PM] nisya aziz: u dont want anything
[6:43:44 PM] chris: yep
[6:43:45 PM] nisya aziz: then y should u live??
[6:43:50 PM] chris: not wanting anything means no ego
[6:44:05 PM] nisya aziz: nope
[6:44:10 PM] chris: yet it is not so easy to just suicide
[6:44:11 PM] nisya aziz: absolutely wrong
[6:44:29 PM] nisya aziz: u have ur own ego
[6:44:46 PM] nisya aziz: u denied wat im said 2 u
[6:44:54 PM] nisya aziz: dats an ego
[6:45:04 PM] nisya aziz: u dont want 2 live ur life
[6:45:08 PM] nisya aziz: dats another ego
[6:45:19 PM] nisya aziz: u dont want 2 mix with ppl
[6:45:24 PM] nisya aziz: another ego
[6:45:43 PM] nisya aziz: u dont appreciate ppl who love or will love u
[6:45:50 PM] nisya aziz: another big of ego
[6:46:07 PM] nisya aziz: u dont believe in God
[6:46:12 PM] nisya aziz: another big ego
[6:46:35 PM] nisya aziz: u think wat u believe n thought is always right
[6:46:40 PM] nisya aziz: another big ego
[6:47:00 PM] nisya aziz: n who said u dont have any ego??
[6:47:14 PM] nisya aziz: u r 1 egoistic man
[6:47:17 PM] nisya aziz: n i admit
[6:47:23 PM] nisya aziz: im an egoistic
[6:47:25 PM] chris: ego is thinking of oneself
[6:47:40 PM] chris: doing things in the interest of oneself
[6:47:53 PM] chris: pride
[6:47:54 PM] nisya aziz: n doesnt it match with wat i have listed above??
[6:48:02 PM] nisya aziz: u hold ur pride
[6:48:17 PM] nisya aziz: uphold ur believe n thoughts
[6:48:18 PM] chris: nope, not proud at all
[6:48:29 PM] chris: i believe them because it is logic
[6:48:37 PM] chris: logic will never fail you in maths
[6:48:44 PM] chris: so why would it anything else
[6:48:45 PM] nisya aziz: ego doesnt mean u need 2 b proud
[6:48:56 PM] nisya aziz: of urself
[6:49:35 PM] nisya aziz: u believe it
[6:49:55 PM] nisya aziz: n u try 2 prove wat u believe is right
[6:50:13 PM] nisya aziz: n others r wrong
[6:50:36 PM] nisya aziz: doesnt it an ego kind of attitude??
[6:51:40 PM] chris: well i can proove the things i say are right
[6:51:46 PM] chris: can you?
[6:51:55 PM] nisya aziz: i can
[6:52:29 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz i have d prove

~~sya taw bukti itu wujud..cuma sya xpasti bukti terbaik yg blh bg kat dia n..i want 2 prove dat al-quran is d source of sciences, God is exist, n life should b appreciate..can anybody help me, please??

there's d conversation dat i had with him b4 in the previous2 entry..

please3x..really want 2 prove those 3 things to him..

tq 4 ur help.. :)

p/s: slmt hr rye..maaf zahir batin..