Friday, October 22, 2010

a piece of puzzle of heart

satu, dua, tiga
saya sayang awk
tiga, empat, lima
awak tak mampu untuk saya capai
enam, tujuh, lapan
awak tak nak kat saya
sembilan, sepuluh
dengan selamba saya kata
xpe la awak tak nak kat saya
tapi saya nak kat awk
sape taw jodoh ada antara kite

one, two, three
i dont care what life going to be in the future
three, four, five
gravity wont hold me down
five, six, seven
i will fly if i want God will
seven, eight, nine
help me when im in need, friends
i know u won't, that's why i only put faith on Allah

awak di sana
saya tak pasti awak ke yang akan menemai saya sepanjang hayat saya
saya tak pasti juga awak ke yang saya akan cintai seiring nafas saya
tapi bermula saat awak melafazkan akad nanti
saya berjanji pada awak
dan juga diri sendiri
cinta saya untuk awak akan bersatu bersama nadi dan nafas saya

awak di sana
saya tak taw siapa awak
mungkin manusia yang saya pernah kenali
mungkin juga kita tak pernah berjumpa
tapi jika benar awak dan saya ditakdirkan bersama
sepuluh tahun pun tak mampu menghalang kita
siapa awak??
bilakah awak akan muncul??
di mana saya akan jumpa awak??
tiada siapa pun mampu menjawabnya buat masa ini
saya harap awak setia menanti saya
seperti saya menanti awak
sehingga ditentukan olehNya
saat kita bertemu dan mengenali sesama sendiri

butterfly comes hummingbird flies away
cradle the world when the storm comes
shivering with fright and excitement
love can be the shine or the dark cloud
can make you dance while you are swimming
or you drown out of breath in the air
crazy with the flowers blooming around you
or dying tree scaring you
but you cannot deny
love is a piece of puzzle of heart
your life wont be complete without it
embrace dont be disgrace
it is a great gift from Almighty

p/s: awak jangan kecewa nanti saya banyak benda nak cerita..dan awak juga akan berpenglipurlara dengan saya..jangan letih ya.. ;)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

last day~~~

feel bored, dont know what to do..feel like want to eat 'bepang bebola'..tried to find d recipe online..but couldnt find it..n the updating my fb status..n something caught my eyes on the home page..meen's status promoting the islamic awareness week at our university..n there a link for the trailer video..*click here to watch the video*

the first question that been asked is "HOW WOULD YOU SPEND YOUR LAST DAY?" and while people in the video giving out their answers, i was thinking the same would i spend my last day?? WOW!!seriously, i dont know how to answer it because i was thinking about a lot of think..moreover, im in sydney and my family at might be really3x hard for both of us..maybe some of the list below can be done before my time is up..

1. ask for forgiveness from everybody sincerely
2. solat taubat to ask forgiveness from The Only One, Almighty Allah
3. skype with mama and abah to ask their forgiveness and to give my last will to my sisters and brother
4. write last words at fb note for everybody who knows me (family and friends)
5. call the person who i love to tell him that i still love him even we are not 'in relationship' anymore..and ask for his forgiveness too because i broke his heart before..the possible sentence i will said "awk, sy mntk maaf sgala slh slp sy kat awk..maaf jgk sbb sy kte sy blh nk hlangkan cnta sy utk awk dr hti sy, tp sbnr ny tak..bkurang myb, tp sy xmmpu nk lupuskan semua..benar jodoh kt takde d dunia..dh dtentukan umur sy tak doakan awk jmp 'bidadari' awk..kt xdpt bsama d dunia n..doakan sy bakal d ltk kan bsama golongan org mukmin..klw blh, bacakan lah yaasiin utk sy ye..smoga awk sntiasa bahagia"
6. call my best buddy..he did a lot for me..he gives me strength whenever i needed..always all-ears and being a good listeners and advisor..
7. call tok mak and tok bah..i miss them so much..ask for their forgiveness too because i've been such a naughty granddaugther..
8. try to solve all my debts if i got the money..if not, i will write a will and 'amanahkan' my closest friend here, syue and noni to settle it after the allowances come into my account..
9. send all my clothes and stuff to malaysia so that my sisters can use them without wasting it here..and some of the stuff will goes to 'kanak-kanak miskin' (poor children) in Malaysia..
10. mandi wajib in hope i will die in a clean condition and read the al-Quran which i've been left for a very long time.

goosebumps when im writing this entry..i hope Allah still gives me more times to live my life..i've been bad..i did a lot of sins..give me chance ya Allah to be a better person..and if, if you want to take away my soul, please let me hug my mama, abah, angah, uda, k.chik, kakak, tok mak n tok bah 1st for the last time..

Monday, October 11, 2010

crush and crash

a lot of things happened since i posted my previous post..

mfest --> mgm --> grace hotel --> shangri la hotel

semua ny dance expected, kat sydney mesti byk peluang to dance more..i love it.. :))

try to remember back, d 1st moment i was joining just because of it was a cool thing to do and syesly i wanted to be famous that time..well, biasalah kan, masa remaja..huhuhu..and of coz dat time my family didnt approve it..i was rebellious..d more they forbid me, d more i become wild..hahaha..pity my parents that time..i made they cried a lot..what a bad girl.. :(
*mama, sorry..**

now, here i am at sydney..thank God He still give me another chance to live and correct my mistakes as far as i can, coz i cant turn back time..the difference now and then is now, my parents have my back in everything i do, including dancing..they started to accept it since i was in glad..tq mama..tq abah..they never have the chance to come lively at my performance so far, but each time i perform, they, especially mama will ask "ada record x??mama nk tgok.." and since i was started to wear scarf, mama and abah always remind me "menari 2 menari tudung pakai, jgn bukak..sia2 je.." hehehe..syg mama..i will always remember..

when i've been joining dancing for a long time, dancing become my passion..especially malay tradisional dance..i feel like this is my responsibilities to mantain the culture..not only mantain, i want to implement it in my generation and the future not the best dancer, im not a great one..but i have this dream of opening a dance studio, just to teach tradisional dance to kids and teens maybe for free or they can pay how much they want to..mama said it could be an alternative way to prevent these youngsters to 'melepak' doing nothing..or maybe i can mix with some of modern dance to attract them..that's why im trying to learn as much as i can here in sydney..i really hope this dream can be true 1 day.. (in that case, i need to find a husband who has a same interest with me in dancing..hehehe..or he might not be a dancer, but as long as he can support me, i'll be thankful enough)

i started become a choreographer when i was studying in ipgm kampus pulau first opportunity is to teach students at school..then, share my knowledge with my friends at college..we enjoyed our moment there..and then here in sydney, i got the opportunity to choreograph for malaysian festival at tumbalong park, darling was a really great opportunity even i made a mistake by starting the practice late so some of the routine been cancelled because we didnt have much time to practice it as some of the dancers are first time dancing..but i was a bit regret..because i tend to compete with another person..i was not sincere with my intention..and it turned out upside-down bcoz i feel miserable..competition is good, but i just feel wrong this just like i was not thankful enough with the opportunity i have..

whatever it is..i want to dance more..but i think my time is nearly finish..maybe this 2 years in sydney will be my last years in dancing..maybe after this i will be teaching and sharing my lil knowledge with somebody else..maybe..God's will..insya allah.. :))