Friday, January 23, 2009

am i fit enough to be a teacher??

there one thing dat some people afraid in their life..BEING ALONE..yesterday, i just found out how was the feeling when we feel lonely, it just like that u r the only person dat alive at a place,being left..there's no people around u, empty room, u can even hear the echos of ur slippers as u step around,have nowhere t go,no one to talk to,and.....u feel wonder people afraid of being alone..because loneliness will lead to emptiness..u will ponder and wonder everything dat happened@will happen in ur life..then, everything will seem wrong..this will lead to stress..and this kind of feelings also can make u do things out of ur normal mind..
sometimes, we just want to be ourselves without someone told us what should we do @ what shouldn't..i just want to be me..but some how, when i did what i want to do,( something bad for other people,maybe ) , at the moment i did it, i just want to do it..but after that, i will feel guilty and bad for myself..i m bad..m i??huhuhu..yeah,i know if i asked people around me,"m i a bad girl?", of coz they "no, u r not"..(or maybe only aza n kucing will said "yes u r!!!"..i know they r 'innocent' and 'honest'..just like kids )..but it just ca'nt convince me..i did a lot of bad things in my life and yes,i regret it..i want to change and be a good girl..but i just can't help myself when sometimes i was too stubborn to listen to other people's opinions and advice..just on dat time..then i will regret,"why i just can't follow what people say which is for my own good?"..for example, going out late at night..sometimes i just want to release out all the tensed that i have inside of me by wondering around at night..looking at people..gasping the night air is one of my own ways to release all the tension that i have..i know, it is dangerous for a girl and people always said that a girl who is hanging around late at night is a bad girl..but, sometimes i will said "can i have my own way of life??"...but the after day that, i will feel bad that i have done that bad thing and make people think that i m a bad girl..hey, wake up!!u r going to be a teacher,girl..u need to behave like a teacher, walk like a teacher,sit like a teacher,eat like a teacher,talk like a teacher,sleep like a teacher,and everything need to be like-a-teacher things..yaa..yaa..i am a future teacher..or suppose i say a teacher-wannabe??teacher can't be a bad girl who did bad things because a teacher suppose to an idol for other people..a teacher should be a nobel person and nearly perfect human being..ask urself,girl.."AM I QUALIFIED TO BE A TEACHER???"..qualified not only in academics, but also from each angles that u can sort out what should a teacher be/like..

Monday, January 12, 2009

is dis life??

story 1

on 2nd January 2009, i went to my mom's school to help her at KOPERASI SDAHA during d registration day form 1..i was in charge d registration for ex-student SK Bandar Pontian ( my primary school )..everything was ok..but around 1pm when we were ready to close the kaunter, there's a makcik came to me and said,"dik..akak nk beli brg keperluan asas je dulu..boleh x??" as usual i told her dat we already packaged all d needs for d students in one, including their formal sports attire, name tag, books, files, and headcount book ( or also called as buku penilaian markah ). but,this is her reply which touched me deep inside and made me realized something about life.."dik,akak bwk rm50 je utk daftar kan ank akak n..2 je la yg ayh dia bg sbb akak ada 8 owg lg bg sekolah..sowg dpt rm50 je" to pay rm 120.10 fee with rm50 only??i felt bad coz i cant help her..thank God the Koperasi have 'dana' to help those people like this..somehow, it make me think more bout life..i will never,never forget the situation..just like what my mom said,"u just found 1 today..later,when u bcome a teacher there will be more than u expect u will find n meet.." i wish i can help those people like this..but,d big question is,CAN I HELP THEM??HOW??

story 2

as i told before, my grandpa is ill and has been warded for 2-3 weeks..n i've been 'nursing' him almost of d time..opps!!at d 1st time i need 2 change his diapers, i was shivering..i just couldnt believe myself doing it..a lot n a lot of things i learnt from those moment..during dis time, chirldren r very important 2 b with their old parents..n a saying said dat parents can take care of 10 children but when they r getting older,10 children cant sure that they can take care of their parents..God,please dont let me b a child who 4get my parents when they need me to take care of them..

story 3

there's a fwen of mine, Hanz ( bukan nama sebenar ) is a boy,( or can i say a guy??)..a good looking guy..his parents went to perform their haj..he left with his sisters..but,he impressed me because i think he did his best..n i think it's not too much if i say dat he is a very responsible man..even he needed to go to pasar n bought some groceries just like a woman always do..he's willing to drop his ego to do all d houseworks bcoz he knew his responsibilities..Hanz, for me u r a real man, not only a good looking guy..but also a good boy (even sometimes u r naughty)..

i hope who ever read dis can get d message dat i want to say even im writing with a lot of grammatical errors..

Wednesday, January 7, 2009 we come..!!!

im glad to see all my friends are here to continue our degree..welcome back to all..hope we do more this year...

a million thanks to all d lecturers:
mr g, mdm rovena, mdm rock, mr teoh, mdm ong, miss loke, mdm lee, miss patricia, mr goh, mr chu, mr ratna, mdm maria, and all d other lecturers who gave us any single word of any lesson that we can use in our life,either directly or indirectly..

a warm welcome i bid to all my cohort mates including me,myself to dis our beloved ipp and hope we all together can proceed to the next stage in mcquarie..hope we can gain and grab everything as much as we can..

farid, ulwi, farhad, amir, chris, pd, hafiz, razeen, helmi, gjol, yus, afiq, faiz, rini, aisah, bahijah, shamas, ain, nuhan, akma, kak nad, kak jen, anis, atiq, syamim, maisyarah, farah, meen, asrin,zawa, zahida, qeela, yeen, masu, reen, alia, nana, aza, iewa, shuwoan, mira, noli, syu, mira, noni, nisya, khalijah, juraidah, myra, dya, mimi, tracy, wan xing, tian way, sarah, meithikda...

it's nearly 2 years now..there's too many other name dat we give each other..not to insult, just to be more close with each other...

aza - mental,gigi besi( ex-gigi besi now), kobis @ cabbage
mira tesl 2 - kucing
mira tesl 1 - rabbit
zawa - kodok
helmi - black sheep, angel
hafiz - fairy, kayu manis
pd - nenas
chris - cina mabok
zawa - kodok
anis - kechik, siput
amir - lipas
ain - koya
anisah - nise, sundae cone
farhad - baby
syu - doraemon
noni - chubby
asrin - a.b.c ( asrin budak chubby), butterfly, loudspeaker, she
rini - ayam
noli - penguin
gjol - dva malatoop, paparazzi
khalijah - khojah
juraidah - jurey
kak nad - senior citizen
razaini - kak jen, jenny
zahidah - cicak
alia - tapir, pinky
bahijah - bebeh
and me,nisya - bulbasaur @ bulb-ba-sour( or u can pronounce it as bulb-besar ) hahaha...

huhuhu..we have so much fun..but if ever anybody 'terasa' with me, i beg ur thousand apologies..forgive me please... :)