Friday, January 23, 2009

am i fit enough to be a teacher??

there one thing dat some people afraid in their life..BEING ALONE..yesterday, i just found out how was the feeling when we feel lonely, it just like that u r the only person dat alive at a place,being left..there's no people around u, empty room, u can even hear the echos of ur slippers as u step around,have nowhere t go,no one to talk to,and.....u feel wonder people afraid of being alone..because loneliness will lead to emptiness..u will ponder and wonder everything dat happened@will happen in ur life..then, everything will seem wrong..this will lead to stress..and this kind of feelings also can make u do things out of ur normal mind..
sometimes, we just want to be ourselves without someone told us what should we do @ what shouldn't..i just want to be me..but some how, when i did what i want to do,( something bad for other people,maybe ) , at the moment i did it, i just want to do it..but after that, i will feel guilty and bad for myself..i m bad..m i??huhuhu..yeah,i know if i asked people around me,"m i a bad girl?", of coz they "no, u r not"..(or maybe only aza n kucing will said "yes u r!!!"..i know they r 'innocent' and 'honest'..just like kids )..but it just ca'nt convince me..i did a lot of bad things in my life and yes,i regret it..i want to change and be a good girl..but i just can't help myself when sometimes i was too stubborn to listen to other people's opinions and advice..just on dat time..then i will regret,"why i just can't follow what people say which is for my own good?"..for example, going out late at night..sometimes i just want to release out all the tensed that i have inside of me by wondering around at night..looking at people..gasping the night air is one of my own ways to release all the tension that i have..i know, it is dangerous for a girl and people always said that a girl who is hanging around late at night is a bad girl..but, sometimes i will said "can i have my own way of life??"...but the after day that, i will feel bad that i have done that bad thing and make people think that i m a bad girl..hey, wake up!!u r going to be a teacher,girl..u need to behave like a teacher, walk like a teacher,sit like a teacher,eat like a teacher,talk like a teacher,sleep like a teacher,and everything need to be like-a-teacher things..yaa..yaa..i am a future teacher..or suppose i say a teacher-wannabe??teacher can't be a bad girl who did bad things because a teacher suppose to an idol for other people..a teacher should be a nobel person and nearly perfect human being..ask urself,girl.."AM I QUALIFIED TO BE A TEACHER???"..qualified not only in academics, but also from each angles that u can sort out what should a teacher be/like..

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