siapa sangka..

post kali n dtulis dgn keterharuan yg teramat dr jauh lubuk hati..

12 hari je lg..sape sangka impian dr kecik nk g australia tcapai..huhuhu..cme dulu tme kecik2, i thought aussie 2 ada salji..hehehe..*adui ai..packing xciap lg n*

emm..sape sangka gak nisya hr n pnh mjd nisa' yg dulu..emm..mse kecik2, owg pggl nurul..mse 2 tme dok kat pahang..pndh johor, family smua pggl nisya..pas2 ble masuk sklh bru lah ada owg pggl nisa'..

mcm2 blaku dlm hidup n..mcm2 nme owg pnh pggl sya..tp sya lbey slesa dgn pggl nisya..jgn tny knapa..

hahaha..apa la yg sya membebel n..huhuhu..ntah r..cuti kali n byk sgt bnda blaku..byk bnda wat sya bfikir..maybe peluang utk mematangkan dr..

btol owg kte kt akan belajar dr kejatuhan, kehilangan, dan kesilapan..

apa yg perlu dibuat??

apa yg perlu kt buat bile kt rse apa yg owg wat 2 xbtol n kt rse nk mrh??

apa yg perlu kt buat ble owg yg kt nk mrh 2 mereka yg jauh lg berusia n 'DEWASA' dr kt??

apa yg perlu kt buat ble apa yg mereka buat 2 sgt xptut??

apa yg perlu kt buat ble kt mmg btl2 nk mrh dgn mereka??

apa yg perlu kt buat ble smthg knon ny 'HAK' mereka lbey byk thadap ny tp mreka mengabainya tapi ble kt menjaganya, mereka dtg utk mengambilnya semula??

s***!!!i really hate dis feeling when i start 2 hate wat people did..not to me, but 2 someone dat i love..damn!!i hope u will realize 1day each people who r live in dis world r valuable especially our own parents..

ya ALLAH!!berikanlah aku kesabaran..ya ALLAH!!hanya Kau yang tahu perasaanku..

thanx 2 mama n abah coz tidak menjadi seperti mereka..

seorang insan yg wujud dlm hidupku..

HJ ATAN BIN ALIFF..

tok bah..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah dduk kat kerusi malas dia,kat tepi tangga,pegang kipas tgn,pakai sluar pendek..bawah tgga dia selit parang pjg,snang nk amik nk g bkebun..kat kerusi malas tok bah lak,sgala mcm ubt ada bgantungan..

ingt lg dulu..
naik moto kapcai tok bah n tok mak keliling kampung, ntr tok mak g mgurut n membidankan owg..pas2 ada jgk bbrpe kali moto 2 rosak..kna jln kaki balik umh..smbil jln, main rumput ekor kuda..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah dduk di kerusi malas ny, bace muqaddam sambil swh sya or angah cari uban kat kepala dia..dia kate surah-surah dlm muqaddam 2 kna bace sllu..ingt, hafal..tp ntah bape surah je yg lekat dlm kepala skrg sya n..pas2 bile dia dh abis bce 2,3 surah,dia tgok bape byk uban yg ktowg bjaya kumpul..

ingt lg dulu..
klw sya demam, tok bah bwk g kat klinik ayer baloi.."kt g mntk ubt ngn misi"..pas2 odw blik, tok bah akn sggah kat kedai misai beli kuih bom..pas2 sggh kdai runcit beli air kaki 3..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah ntr sya ngn g kls agama kat sek pulai sebatang..xingt nma ustazah 2 apa..tp tok bah akan ntr smp dpn kelas..abis kelas tok bah sentiasa tunggu dpn kelas 2 jgk..sblm blk, kna nyanyi lagu sifat-sifat ALLAH..stiap kali nyanyi,tok bah mmg dh ada kat luar kls,2ggu kat pntu dpn..xpnh lmbt..

ingt lg dulu..
g pnjt kopi ngn tok mak..pas2 ikut tok bah petik kelapa sawit..pas2 g mndi parit kat blkg umh tok bah..

ingt lg dulu..
bile sya dh start msuk sekolah..ujg mggu xmo blik umh..nk tdo umh atok..sbb pg2 blh tgok cartoon..blh g mnd parit..geng ny angah la..ktowg la yg byk wat atok bising..dr kecik lg..hahaha

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah ada ikat 1 tali kat alang umh utk sangkut buai baby..tp ble dpt kat sya ngn angah, kt main tarzan2 kat c2 smp jatuh tsembam..bile nangis,tok bah ajk bgurau..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah cabut kan gg susu..pas2 tok bah ktawa..sbb dia kata gg 2 blh tnam kat tok bah ny gusi..sbb gg tok bah byk xde..

ingt lg dulu..
sya pnh mbebel kat atok sbb xpasang lampu kat bilik air..kononny nk bjimat..tp mase 2 sya mbebel kat atok sbb gelap sgt sya nk mnd..nk jln pn xnmpk pape..smp sya menjerit sbb tpjak katak..eee..geli..tp ble balik pas2 tgok2 lampu bilik air dh ada..pk cik yg tlg pasangkan..xingt lak sape exactly yg mmasang ny..tp dsbbkan dh byk sgt xcdent dlm gelap kot..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah cter cm ne idup zmn jepun dulu..tok bah tnjuk buku kecik(cm passport)..ada gmbr tok bah pakai bju polis time mude2..nsem tok bahku time mude2 yek..hehehe..dia cter btapa seksanya nk g surau smbil kna pikul khinzir..anak dara kna kasi semunyik..nasi masak cmpur ngn ubi ngn keledek sbb beras sgt ssh nk dpt..tok mak pnh masak nasi+ubi+keledek 2..so,sya pnh la dpt rse mknn tme zmn2 jepun dulu..

kisah-kisah n semua kbanyakannya blaku mase sya kecik-kecik dulu..sya pnh dduk ngn atok kjap mse umur 4,5 thun..mse 2 bru2 pndh dr kuantan..xingt mn..tp ckit2 ingat la..ok r utk djdkan knangan bsama tok bah..

bile dh besar, sya lupe..lg la ble dh dok bndr lak pas2..lupe sya pnh jd bdk kampung yg comot..byk bnda sya lupe..psan tok bah sya lupe..jasa tok bah sya xingt..smp la satu masa...kini..bile tok bah dh xley bgun cm dulu..

dh hmpir sthun tok bah terlantar..mcm2 cter tjadi..mcm2 kisah yg timbul..mcm perasaan yg terzahir..

tok bah dh xmmpu nk cam siapa cucu ny..anak2 dia pn dia xley nk ingt sgt siapa..muke tok bah dh cengkung sgt2..mkn xnk,mnum pn ckit2..nk angkat tgn pn cm dh xmmpu..hr 2 tok bah msuk wad, dktor kate kna esteoartritis..sendi2 kaki tok bah bengkak..hmpir sthun dh tok bah tpaksa pakai tena..tok bah xmmpu nk bgun utk salin sndr, mndi sndr, mkn sndr..smua kna ada owg utk wat kan utk dia..

rse cm nk lempang je bile ada anak @ cucu dia yg geli nk dekat ngn tok bah, apalagi nk tlg bersihkan dia..jgn kate lempang, rse cm nk ckp "ala..nnt ko tua,jd lg terok drpd n,xde sape nk amik ksh bru taw..wat goes around,comes around,u c.."seyes sakit hati bile ada owg wat cm 2 kat tok bah dpn mate sya..harta tok bah reti plk nk, tlg ny tidak..sabar je la..pk keluarga la sya diam kan je la..

ya ALLLAH..Kau ringankanlah beban yg tok bah hdapi skrg..krg kanlah kesakitannya..seandai benar Kau sayang tok bah, senangkanlah perjalanannya..golongkanlah tok bah di kalangan mereka yg beriman..aku sgt syg pd tok bah,aku memohon padaMu yg Maha Penyayang..mudahkanlah perjalannya ya ALLAH..

my fav poem from someone..(lg..)

Shut up and go to bed
Put the pillow under your head
Shut up and say goodnight
Say your prayers and turn off the light
shut up coz u talk too much
hears out my lullaby and sleep tight.
allthough we are apart,
you're always the one within my heart.


you sang today,
hangout all day,
make up your day.
sleep now with peace in mind,
dream garden sweet of mine.
rhythm and hymph beats in synchronise.
lay down your head dear,
may we be friends forever.


anda mampu mengubahnye,
mandi jangan lame-lame,
rindu saye dibuatnye.
baru dicoret sahaje,
macam sedap rasenye,
harap awak suke.


the waters will rise,and you wont be surprise,
it's grey sky much better that way,reminds you that this time is so cool.

lay down now,sweet and low girl
close your eyes,sweet and low girl
and i will carry you home,
it's like dream you see,if the world is right
i'll sing all night and be there when you wake up
just lean your head back, take yourself to dreamland.

close your eyes, close the door
you don't have to worry any more
i want you to sleep tight baby
shut the light and shut the shade
you don't have to be afraid no more
sail away and sleep tight baby

u put me on a line
and homely out to sleep
oh baby u shud take a break
try to put it all aside
and i cud write a song
a thousand miles long
well thats where i belong
and u should go to sleep.


juliet scarlet letter
thou romeo 's here
romeo loves juliet
as painted forever
scarlet and violet
inevitable perfectly together
fold thou eyelids juliet
upon romeo 's lips
trace thou cheek sweet
for romeo whispers
sleep well my love.

something from someone...

Title:Offaway
date:27 marz,2009
time:0340 hrs

no..
no,i cannot waste another minute of my life..
no,i cannot live to waste my potentials..
no,i cannot let my potentials be demolished by my foolish actions..
no,i cannot act like i have nothing to lose..
no,i cannot lose to my twisted-wrong-desires..
....whispers of evil,these desires are!!

these desires are pulling me down ruthlessly..
down to where i cannot bear to stand alive,
to live in bitterness,to have nothing to hold to..
down to where i cannot turn the clock around,
to live in remorse,to lament of yesterdays..
to where disappointment undertake oneself..
....ohh,would then i wished i done something significant!!

yes..
yes,God,guide me..
be my guidance..
yes,strength, provoke me..
be my trigger..
yes,will,persuade me..
be my influence..
yes,pressure,drive me..
be my force..
yes,concentration,accompany me..
be my companion..
answer me,,
....please,i am pleading!!

i am halfway of the path,,watching away..
i am off the lines,,somewhere along the way..
i am not turning my head around,,back away..
i am waking up,,spending my heart away..
either force-forward..
either pace-forward..
i am embarking my mark on the future..
blew it away,blew it away!!


~~to someone who wrote me dis lovely poem..thank u very much..i really love d words in it..it means a lot to me..those words r like d words dat existed in me..seems wat i have in my heart come out through u..sowy to dat someone i didnt tell u i put ur poem here in my blog..i love it so much until im afraid i'll lose it..so i want to keep it here..it will remain forever..to remind me to be strong in wateva situation..to inspire me wheneva im sad or down..coz it is something dat i feel in life..

1st post for 2010~~

huh~~cpt sungguh mse bllu..now dh thn 2010..

sllu ny owg akn wat azam baru bile masuk thn baru..tp dpt dpnuhi ke azam2 2 smua??emm..
ntah r..

apa yg penting,keyakinan n kekuatan diri sendiri utk mlaksanakan azam yg kt dh wat 2.. -->sesuatu yg sya bru blajar dlm hdup n..huhuhu..

emm..esok adik2 dh nk g skolah..wow!!xcited sgguh mereka..beg baru,alt tulis baru,bju baru,kasut baru,smua baru la..tbe2 sya rse cm nk blik zmn sklh blik je..seronok,xde mslh..main je...blaja la jgk..hehehe..

sya, adakah anda akan menjadi seorang manusia baru tahun ini??
emm..i really hope so..teka kan azam,kuatkan semangat utk menepis sgala anasir2 yg mdtg..ok??
ok,baik bos!!hehehe

sya,sya..mdh sgt tgugat..lpas n kuatkan iman,jgn mdh tpgaruh lg eh..ingt pesan mama,abah,kwn2...smua org mharapkan yg tbaik..

opps..mampu ke sya ek??
aish..pang!!!
kna la kuat klw nk brubah an..
tapi....
xpe2x..kt msti blh..chaiyok!!!!
hehehe..

dlm byk2 dugaan, ada 1 sya xley nk tepis..adui ai..
apa 2??
makan.. :( sya dh gmok sgt dh n..syesly dh overwight..
hehehe..xdpt den nk nolong..

dlm byk2 gangguan, ada 1 bnda yg wat sya lmah sgt2..
apa lak n??
emm.. #-_-#
aik..xley lupe lg ke??ala sya..lupekan je la..owg dh benci..dh xsuke..
huh..pyh ny la ble bcte soal hati n..emm..ok, abaikan..
DISTRACTION!!!
astagfirullah al-azim..redhalah sya..
baik,baik.. :'(

aish..dh..jgn nk mlalut lg..
emm..rndu sesgt nk blk penang..tp....klw sya g sna,mst ad smbdy yg sya tringin sgt nk jmp..tp dia mst xmo tgok or even dgr psl sya pn..n nnt mst sya having a tiny-weeny heart after that..hehehehe..

ok2x..enough for that..kte nk cter psl azam thun baru..apa n..sya n,xabis2 melalut la..
hehehe..sbnr nya sya dh ngantok..nk tdo dulu la..kt cter esok blh??
ok,gud n8,sya..
gud n8 syg..jgn lpe 'bekal' utk tdo ye..
baaaaik.. :)