so damn tired..so damn sleepy..so damn hungry.

the story begins on Saturday 10th July 2010..

6.30 pm - woke up n get ready 2 go 2 work at leichhardt..yesterday a man called me and askes me 2 come 4 a trial period 4 a work at a boutique named CELEGANCE..n he gave me this website 2 have a brief about what is the boutique sells..u want 2 know more, click this link.. celegance boutique

7.30pm - walked in the mist 2 go d macquarie university station..damn it's cold like u sit in d freezer..checked the temperature, it was 3degree..didnt take any breakfast xcept a glass of juice bcause felt not hungry..the journey was about 1 hour n a half..taking d train 2 town hall n then took d 438 bus 2 d parramatta road at leichhardt..

9.30am - arrived at parramatta road n searching 4 d boutique..it just small one, but wow!!it is a boutique..n from outside, i can see the dresses inside..n oo my gosh!!im so excited..but it opens at 10 am and i need 2 wait outside untill Chris, the owner came 2 open it..he told me 2 come at 10 am..but seemed dat i arrived earlier..

10.10am - Chris arrived n welcomed me..he just briefed me about the shop a little bit n then customers come..a bride-2-b, 3 bridesmaids, d bride-2-b's mother n her future mother-in-law..they came 2 try their dresses dat they ordered b4..STUNNING!!but there's some adjustment that Chris need 2 do because 1 of d bridesmaids lost a lot of weight..so her dress bcame so loose..then i learnt dat this boutique actually is a boutique where u can come in and give d design dat u want, consult d designer which is Chris himself, n d dress is specially made 4 u with ur own measurement..n it usually takes 6 weeks 2 make a dress which is handmade at its own factory at vietnam..n then so many people came in n out n i've learnt a lot in just a short while..huh~~damn tired because didnt sit at all 4 about 6 hours..n wat i can say bout those people who came in, they r so damn rich 2 make their own dress because a minimum cost 4 a made-2-measure & own-customized dress is $8++ ..basically, 4 6hours of trial, there's 8 bride-2-bs bringing in their bridesmaids n some with their mothers, some with the husband-2-bs, some came 2 made the dresses 4 d flower girls, a mom accompany her 10-y.o daughter 2 make a dress 4 her companion function, 4 ladies came in 2 made their own dresses 4 a function, and about 6-7 dresses being tried out dat day n what i can say about d dresses is gorgeous..hope i can have my own 1 one day..then Chris told me that he will contact me back within next week 2 confirm either i got d job or not..put ur hands together n please pray 4 me dat i will get d job bcoz im so glad if i do..please3x..i know there's many girls dying 2 work in d such boutique, surrounding by beautiful dresses n cute kids who come in 2 try their flower-girls dresses..

4.30pm - arrived at my room n feeling so damn tired n having a bad back-pain (period-pain) because i was standing 4 6hours in d 1st day of menstruation..sleep 4 a while..

6.15pm - received a call from a woman asked 4 a favor 2 her babysit her 1-year-old baby girl 4 a night bcoz she n her husband got a party 2 attend..at 1st, im so reluctant 2 take it but then "ok" because she said she didnt know any1 2 take care of d baby n she already put an ad at gumtree.com dat evening but nobody reply..n she got my number from her friend who i babysitted her son before..n she also asked me to clean the house n will pay $100 4 d night..then she asked me either i can drive because she n her husband cant drive bcoz they r drunk..oook, now im worried about d baby..she also cant remember her address n told me 2 look 4 d address at d ad that she posted..10minutes from wynyard station..should b no prob..asked noni 2 accompany me, but she said she's too tired after had a dance practice dat morning..n then i asked azizul n he just woke up n agreed 2 go with me as i said we will share the pay..then we ran 2 catch up d train afraid we going 2 b late..then she asked 2 go 2 d newtown station n she will pick us up at d train station..a long way 2 go there bcoz we need 2 change d train at epping then another change at strathfield..14 stations overall..

8.30pm - arrived at newtown station n asked gjol "is dis newtown??looks so oldtown"..darkness, old buildings, n it seems dead..but when we got out from d station we can see many pubs, bars, restaurants still opens n lots of drunk-people everywhere..n i think it should change d name 2 "gaytown" n "homelesstown" as well..huhuhu..she said she's going 2 b late bcoz she couldnt get out from d surprise wedding party thrown by her cousin..so we're waiting from 30 minutes to 1 hour to 2 hours to 2 hours n a half..could see gay couples n people wearing weird-gothic costumes along d street n drunk people shouting n laughing like crazy..SCARY!!thank God gjol with me..

about 10.45 - 11pm - met d drunk-parents..but her husband was not too drunk as she is at d moment..she kept talking n babbling along d way 2 d house..n gjol was d one who's driving directed by d husband..n on d way, she asked her husband "r u sure dis is d way becoz i cant remember any"..God, please save us!!n oowh, actually d place is not 10minutes from wynyard, it was very far away at jannali..i just realized it when gjol took out d train map d next morning when we were trying 2 find way 2 get back to macquarie university..

when we arrived at d house, it was DISASTER..sriously, i've never see n never imagine dat a house can b in dat mess..n it was smelly with d cats' poops..goss, felt like want 2 throw out at d damn moment..bcoz i was feeling sleepy dat time, i forbid myself 2 watch d time bcoz i knew i got a lot of works 2 do..n at first, i told gjol dat he only accompany me not 2 work with me, but he insisted 2 help..(thank God)..huhuhu..we needed 2 clean the living room, the kitchen, scrub d toilet, n fold the laundry..huuuh~~~then gjol went out 2 send them at a bar bcoz they wanted 2 continue d party while d baby was sleeping in her messy room..n they told me 2 heat d milk in d microwave if d baby woke up n when she get her milk, she will back 2 her sleep n it was 99% dat she will not wake up..it was 4am when we finished all d cleaning works except d toilet because we were so damn tired..n i was still in d period-pain..but then d 1% happened..d baby girl keep crying "i want mummy..i want daddy..i want babu.."babu is her doll..i just can give her babu n told her dat mummy n daddy got work 2 do n they will come back soon..about after 30minutes of crying, then she felt asleep on my chest while i was sitting n hugging her..i can feel my legs cramped..but i couldnt move bcoz i didnt want 2 wake her up n hear her cries again..fell asleep with her on my chest, sitting on d sofa about 15 minutes..then i heard knocks on d door n felt so relief when d parents were back..d mother was so drunk n wasted..but d daddy was cool..daddy took d baby n brought her 2 d room n asked d baby 2 go 2 sleep while he's reading a bedtime story 4 her..i looked at my handset, it was 5.20am..asked gjol 2 set d alarm at 7 so we can go back 2 muv a.s.a.p 4 d dance practice..before i went off into sleep, i was thinking, "am i ready 2 b a mom??..i regret i came here..dis is a new experience..dis is d hardest job ever..im afraid im going 2 b late 4 d practice 2morrow.."

woke up at 8.30..but it was very hard 2 open d eyes..gosh, we r going 2 b late now..then we just quickly scrubbing the toilet n vacuumed d house 4 d last time n make sure everything is ok, then called d parents' handset 2 tell dat we wanted 2 go..d husband came out from d bedroom n sent us 2 d train station..unfortunately, d train station was closed n we needed 2 get d city rail bus 2 d central b then took d train..but suddenly i realized my phone was missing..it might be left at d room or in d car..either i left it unintentionally or it slipped out from d bag..then we walked n tried 2 find d way 2 house again based on gjol's gps in his n97..thank God he got his gps..but we still lost..it took about an hour finding out d right way n luckily we found it after lost twice..sriously i felt guilty..until now, still feeling guilty..pity gjol bcoz he was in a stomachache n d toilet at d house was so not comfortable..n im also worried bcoz of d 'woman's thing' dat i was having n didnt change since last evening..n i needed 2 b strong 2 fight d period pain..

got back 2 muv admin 4 dance practice at 1pm..we were very3x late..n my energy was at 0.5% bcoz i didnt had any meal 4 2days except pistachios n fries..n i know i pissed them off 4 making them waiting 4 a long time..im so soooo sorry..i didnt expect it will happen like this..i didnt expect they will take us away from wynyard as i thought before..i didnt expect that house would be dat mess..i didnt expect dat i couldnt sleep at all night..i didnt expect dat i cant remember d last tme i ate properly (now after i think so many times, it was friday..two days ago dat i ate something properly)..i didnt expect i left d phone..i didnt expect dat we lost d way twice..i didnt expect dat train station would close on dat day..i didnt expect dat i would get dis damn nightmare as an experience..i didnt expect dat i would pissed off people today..if i do, if i knew all dis thing will happen, i will not accept d offer/ give d favour / help her..i would love 2 continue my sleep n go 2 d dance practice, eat well, sleep well..normal life..

but EXPERIENCE IS THE GREATEST TEACHER..think positive, nisya.. :)

p/s: for those who i made you pissed off today, im so sorry..danny, yus, afiq, hilmi, syue, noni, intan, niza, mei, swan, chris..sorry 4 making u all waiting 4 me n gjol..n 4 gjol, im so sorry 4 bringing u a nightmare n thanks a lot 4 being an important part of dis nightmare, in a positive way..

"in your own words.."

im joining a program called as "intercultural performance project:in your own words"..at first i just want to join it because i was thinking dat this might b a good opportunity to know other people from other cultures and background..and perhaps it can help me to strengthen the confidence in communicating in English..and it is a performance project, soo my type..why shouldnt i try, right??

n today is going 2 b d 3rd day of the meeting..but seriously n honestly im so excited (even today i need 2 wear those damn suit dat i hate 2 wear it..huhuhu) why?? because even it's only 2 meetings dat we had together (yesterday n d day before), i've learnt so much..n i dont know about d others, but i can feel d bond between us..d feeling is just there after we shared about ourselves and our family at d day 1..i didnt even know them before (except fiza @ aza)..n now, we have shared so much about our life which make the relationship and the bonding become stronger n stronger..2 days of meetings make us become friends like we've known each other for 2 months..we just shared everything..(even not everything, but still, the story of our life that we might not tell 2 any strangers)

and actually i have no idea about wat the performance will b look like..because Dangerous Daniel and Silly Sally said we are not going to do a stage performance..so.....i dont know..but so far, i like it..because it has the surprise element and actually we r not going 2 b practicing about wat we r going 2 perform..we just getting 2 know each other n in d same time we r practicing 4 d performance..indirectly..lees tension, friendly environment..

and indirectly, these project actually remind me and set me straight about my mission n vision here..i m soooo not regretting my decision 2 join dis thing even i've been left alone 2 take care of d house n all my housemates n friends at the melbourne, enjoying themselves..i m enjoying myself with this project..i've got new friends, new experiences, new lessons, and new stories of life which i cant get d same things anywhere else..sooo glad n sooo thankful.. :D

so this is us..im not there because i was d one wo took d pic..hehehe..

from left: Sexy Siddarth, Dangerous Daniel, Silly Sally, Quiet Christian, Crazy Christina, Daring Daniel, Funky Fiza, Cookie Kim..

oowh..there's more..Smart Stella, Kate, and Enid..sorry Kate n Enid..i cant remember ur adjective..huhuhu..n Syue n Noni will b joining us next week.. :)