iT's aBoUt LiFe

when a BAD girl babbling..

2011-04-28T17:46:00.000-07:00

ooowh damn...lama giler xbukak blog sendiri..hahaha...

btw lately im so busy..even during the holiday..hehehe..long story short, got a few new friends..ok my freinds collection (erk, sounds terrrible there..) now officially become world wide..hehehe..proud with myself, at least got more opportunities to practice my English yang still terketar2 nk kluar dari mulut sometimes..hohoho..i got friends from fiji, india, dubai, peru, mexican, london, china, japan, korea, mediterranean, middle east, etc n of coz australian..hehehe..pas n nk g travel around the world senang..hehehe..bajet cm blh je nk travel2 n..xpe2, one of my wishlist to do in life..hope so..hehehe..n watever people want to say for me to be socialize with them, up to u la..so wat, i know im a bad girl..but even a bad girl know her limit dude..

nape blogspot xde wat application for iphone ek??ssh tol..lappy tgh masuk icu now.. :(

now im addicted dgn love stories..hohoho..wat can i say, being single for 2 years not easy..feel like i dont have dat feeling anymore..like my heart saying "love??wat is dat??"huhuhu..haru..

ooowh..i promised to load up about my work story..hehehe..but i decided to upload dat story when i finally quit all the job so i can tell about everything..basically now, im finding apperentices to replace me..hehehe..bajet kan..hehehe..

now totally rambling..eh, suke hati la..my blog..klw i nk mbebel ke, nk mgarut ke, kecik hati ke, terasa ke...dats me babe..u dont like it??push close button now..

n btw, i just dont get it..why people can terasa hati with me, but i cant terasa hati with them ek??ooowh..i get it..i m a BAD girl..so im supposed to b angel..terasa hati pn telan jek..xley ckp kat sape2..klw ckp, means i buruk kan owg..ok.. :( *zip mulut*

a lot of things happen in life..but think positive sha..everything happen for a reason..at least there will b something u can and need to learn..for example, DONT EVER TELL UR SECRET to anybody..they might use it to fire u back..n then u r d one going to b hanguis tbakar..oowh, another thing i dont get it..why people asked u to explain but they actly didnt have d intention to listen???why ask in d first place??weird...or is it only me think like dat??shh..secret k..hehehe.. ;P

however, im happy with my life now..i just do watever i want to do..even sometimes nk kna jaga hati org lain jgk..damn..im so damn hipocrite now..shhh***t..

emm..mama, abah..im sorry..im not d good daugther dat u think..i tried but i gave up..it is so hard to keep up with d social expectation..

btw, is there anybody out there want to pay d government for me so i can stay in australia??i love malaysia, i love my family..it just dat i hate the social expectation..u suppose to hipocrite n b good n nice all d time..dey, im no angel..

before dis, i used to think to get married early coz i want to b a good girl, good daugther, good wife, n bla bla bla..but not, dont think i want to get married..unless ada anak raja nk masuk meminang..hehehe...

ooowh..ramai wat muke tkejut when see me outside now..hahaha..u want me to be bad rite..so here, the bad girl is coming out..hah!!!

job offers..

2011-02-08T18:14:00.000-08:00

summer holiday is nearly reach its end..another 2 weeks 2 go..huh, im glad actually..bcoz it's been a long time since the last time i open a book 2 study..gosh, afraid my brain be in the holiday mood too long make it hard 2 start again..

today i feel like writing again..about all those works i had done and still doing.. *again*..hehehe..*yeah i know..same topic..boring* but yeah, these whole things really make me learn bout life..

*oowh, btw, i got the time 2 write today bcoz im not working today..things going slow since the holiday nearly ends*

in Aussie, it's kind of easy 2 find a part time or casual job..just go online at gumtree.com.au n browse under the job categories..and u can even post ur own advertisement 4 free..so, here wat i posted in the gumtree.com.au 2 promote myself *4 work k*..

"Hi i am 22-year-old international female student searching for any job available in sydney for this summer. I have experiences in housekeeping/cleaning/babysitting/nursing/nanny. My availability during this summer is full-time, last until February. However, i would love to continue the job after that as a part-time/casual job.
The rates are negotiable. Please do contact me. Thank you."

n then i left my email address and phone no there so that they can easily contact me..my ad got hit for about 80something within 1week and until now total profile view is 289..and yeah, i received a lot of replies via email, text messages, and phone calls..but there's some of the replies are nonsense and crazy..want 2 know why i said so??here, i put some of the reply that i received..

1. "hi, im a 30 years old bussiness man and have my own private house at milson point. can you do massage? no experience required. i can teach you, and we can experiment with each other. $200 per day."

2. "i need a housekeeper. im a carrier woman who always travel overseas and i live with my boyfriend. i need somebody to take care of the house and my boyfriend as well. all his need should be provided. all the accommodation will be provided. and if im home, we can be involved together in the sexual act. rates are depends on your request."

3. "hello. i have an unusual position for u. i live with my boyfriend and we have 2 sons. we really want a baby girl in our family. but i cant be pregnant anymore, so we are searching for a girl who can give birth to a healthy baby girl. all the expenses will be provided, and also a special treatment for you. for at least 11months, you can stay with us."

4. "are u interested to be an exotic housekeeper?costume will be provided. $100 per hour."

5. "i need a housekeeper to do all the general cleaning. $20 per hour. if you can do massage too, $70 per hour. if you can do sex, $100 per hour."

there's a lot more of replies like these..but i just pick d ones that i felt so pissed off but in the same time laughing my lungs out when i read it..n unfortunately, i rejected all of the offers that similar to dis ones..im so not into any of those kinds..what are these people thinking..and seriously, i couldnt believe that there's people like this in this world..but, to those people, thank you so much for giving me this experience..an experience that cant be found anywhere else and not everyone got it..just make my life colourful..hehehe..

p/s: next entry, maybe i will share about i learn during working part-time in australia..lots of ideas, but just pray i have time 2 write..

another piece of stories

2010-12-15T02:36:00.000-08:00

it's been a long...long ago since i updated my blog kan..about 2 months..

as usual, life is full of stories..there's some of the stories dat we want to forget but some we want to keep in fresh in mind..

summer holiday alrdy started..almost a month dh pn..

emm..i started working..AGAIN..but now as a cleaner yg berjaya (konon2 ny la kan..) hahaha..

some of my friends are wondering, why i took jobs that far away from my place..for me, this is the only way for me to be at that place..if not, i will never go there..for instance, now i'm working at a clinic, as a cleaner of course, which is about 1 hour and 45 minutes from my place..WOW, i know, WOW..

then, nk dijadikan cerita, my employer's name is also nisha..n she's a muslim too..great..

another job that i got is at turramurra..which is about 30minutes from my place..n her name is nousha ( pronounce as niusha)..she comes from france..got two boys, asha, 7 and arya, 5...never met her husband yet..n syesly, her house is really nice..not much of furniture, contemporary style (which is i really3x like), simple, and yet, easy to clean up..hehehe..and she is really nice..

yeah..what a coincidence rite.. :)

and today actually i got another job for cleaning..but it still in consideration tho..the employer seems scary..he's an indian and actually, i couldnt get much of what he's saying because he stutter..i think maybe because of he's fluency in english influenced a bit..

speaking of which, i think my English is getting better..even sometimes the grammar is messed up, i lost the words/vocabs, the structure is 'tonggang terbalik'..but i think im getting better in speaking n wirting n texting in english..hehehe..i can feel my confident to communicate in English is higher than during the first three months here..n i even dream in english sometimes..wow kan..hehehe..just like Pamela said, when u used the language in most of the time in your daily life, it will come into your dreams..before, i thought it might be impossible for me to become like that..but i had this dream last 2 days in english..seems like in movies..hahaha..in that dream, i was at the beach waiting for someone..but i dont know who..then that someone come to me and said "u need to come with me..i really need your help.." and i said "why me??what can i do for you??" but then after that all i remember i hugged her like a long-lost friend..then we told each other we will miss each other and hoping will see each other again..then she took off with this handsome young man, which is my ex-boyfriend..and i took off with a man too..i know that man, but prefer not to mention his name here..speaking of that man, i really miss him..he's my best friend..the best friend ever..

and being about almost one year in sydney, people always said "malaysians usually have a very good english.."
WOW..these people must have mis-heard..manglish is one of the pidgin ( bahasa rojak) which can lead to language/s destruction, u know..i am proud to be malaysian, but hye, malaysians, especially malays, let's improve our languages..we should be bilingual to survive these days..

oowh..ok..seems that im off the track now..im a bit sleepy and tired actually..so.......remind me to update my blog frequently k..even nobody reading it..just something i want to keep for the sake of myself..hehehe.. :)

a piece of puzzle of heart

2010-10-22T05:44:00.000-07:00

satu, dua, tiga
saya sayang awk
tiga, empat, lima
awak tak mampu untuk saya capai
enam, tujuh, lapan
awak tak nak kat saya
sembilan, sepuluh
dengan selamba saya kata
xpe la awak tak nak kat saya
tapi saya nak kat awk
sape taw jodoh ada antara kite

one, two, three
i dont care what life going to be in the future
three, four, five
gravity wont hold me down
five, six, seven
i will fly if i want to..as God will
seven, eight, nine
help me when im in need, friends
ten
i know u won't, that's why i only put faith on Allah

awak di sana
saya tak pasti awak ke yang akan menemai saya sepanjang hayat saya
saya tak pasti juga awak ke yang saya akan cintai seiring nafas saya
tapi bermula saat awak melafazkan akad nanti
saya berjanji pada awak
dan juga diri sendiri
cinta saya untuk awak akan bersatu bersama nadi dan nafas saya

awak di sana
saya tak taw siapa awak
mungkin manusia yang saya pernah kenali
mungkin juga kita tak pernah berjumpa
tapi jika benar awak dan saya ditakdirkan bersama
sepuluh tahun pun tak mampu menghalang kita
siapa awak??
bilakah awak akan muncul??
di mana saya akan jumpa awak??
tiada siapa pun mampu menjawabnya buat masa ini
saya harap awak setia menanti saya
seperti saya menanti awak
sehingga ditentukan olehNya
saat kita bertemu dan mengenali sesama sendiri

butterfly comes hummingbird flies away
cradle the world when the storm comes
shivering with fright and excitement
love can be the shine or the dark cloud
can make you dance while you are swimming
or you drown out of breath in the air
crazy with the flowers blooming around you
or dying tree scaring you
but you cannot deny
love is a piece of puzzle of heart
your life wont be complete without it
embrace dont be disgrace
it is a great gift from Almighty

p/s: awak jangan kecewa nanti saya banyak benda nak cerita..dan awak juga akan berpenglipurlara dengan saya..jangan letih ya.. ;)

last day~~~

2010-10-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

feel bored, dont know what to do..feel like want to eat 'bepang bebola'..tried to find d recipe online..but couldnt find it..n the updating my fb status..n something caught my eyes on the home page..meen's status promoting the islamic awareness week at our university..n there a link for the trailer video..*click here to watch the video*

the first question that been asked is "HOW WOULD YOU SPEND YOUR LAST DAY?" and while people in the video giving out their answers, i was thinking the same think..how would i spend my last day?? WOW!!seriously, i dont know how to answer it because i was thinking about a lot of think..moreover, im in sydney and my family at malaysia..it might be really3x hard for both of us..maybe some of the list below can be done before my time is up..

1. ask for forgiveness from everybody sincerely
2. solat taubat to ask forgiveness from The Only One, Almighty Allah
3. skype with mama and abah to ask their forgiveness and to give my last will to my sisters and brother
4. write last words at fb note for everybody who knows me (family and friends)
5. call the person who i love to tell him that i still love him even we are not 'in relationship' anymore..and ask for his forgiveness too because i broke his heart before..the possible sentence i will said "awk, sy mntk maaf sgala slh slp sy kat awk..maaf jgk sbb sy kte sy blh nk hlangkan cnta sy utk awk dr hti sy, tp sbnr ny tak..bkurang myb, tp sy xmmpu nk lupuskan semua..benar jodoh kt takde d dunia..dh dtentukan umur sy tak pjg..sy doakan awk jmp 'bidadari' awk..kt xdpt bsama d dunia n..doakan sy bakal d ltk kan bsama golongan org mukmin..klw blh, bacakan lah yaasiin utk sy ye..smoga awk sntiasa bahagia"
6. call my best buddy..he did a lot for me..he gives me strength whenever i needed..always all-ears and being a good listeners and advisor..
7. call tok mak and tok bah..i miss them so much..ask for their forgiveness too because i've been such a naughty granddaugther..
8. try to solve all my debts if i got the money..if not, i will write a will and 'amanahkan' my closest friend here, syue and noni to settle it after the allowances come into my account..
9. send all my clothes and stuff to malaysia so that my sisters can use them without wasting it here..and some of the stuff will goes to 'kanak-kanak miskin' (poor children) in Malaysia..
10. mandi wajib in hope i will die in a clean condition and read the al-Quran which i've been left for a very long time.

goosebumps when im writing this entry..i hope Allah still gives me more times to live my life..i've been bad..i did a lot of sins..give me chance ya Allah to be a better person..and if, if you want to take away my soul, please let me hug my mama, abah, angah, uda, k.chik, kakak, tok mak n tok bah 1st for the last time..

crush and crash

2010-10-11T01:26:00.000-07:00

a lot of things happened since i posted my previous post..

mfest --> mgm --> grace hotel --> shangri la hotel

semua ny dance performance..as expected, kat sydney mesti byk peluang to dance more..i love it.. :))

try to remember back, d 1st moment i was joining dance..it just because of it was a cool thing to do and syesly i wanted to be famous that time..well, biasalah kan, masa remaja..huhuhu..and of coz dat time my family didnt approve it..i was rebellious..d more they forbid me, d more i become wild..hahaha..pity my parents that time..i made they cried a lot..what a bad girl.. :(
*mama, abah..im sorry..**

now, here i am at sydney..thank God He still give me another chance to live and correct my mistakes as far as i can, coz i cant turn back time..the difference now and then is now, my parents have my back in everything i do, including dancing..they started to accept it since i was in sabah..im glad..tq mama..tq abah..they never have the chance to come lively at my performance so far, but each time i perform, they, especially mama will ask "ada record x??mama nk tgok.." and since i was started to wear scarf, mama and abah always remind me "menari 2 menari jgk..tp tudung pakai, jgn bukak..sia2 je.." hehehe..syg mama..i will always remember..

when i've been joining dancing for a long time, dancing become my passion..especially malay tradisional dance..i feel like this is my responsibilities to mantain the culture..not only mantain, i want to implement it in my generation and the future generation..im not the best dancer, im not a great one..but i have this dream of opening a dance studio, just to teach tradisional dance to kids and teens maybe for free or they can pay how much they want to..mama said it could be an alternative way to prevent these youngsters to 'melepak' doing nothing..or maybe i can mix with some of modern dance to attract them..that's why im trying to learn as much as i can here in sydney..i really hope this dream can be true 1 day.. (in that case, i need to find a husband who has a same interest with me in dancing..hehehe..or he might not be a dancer, but as long as he can support me, i'll be thankful enough)

i started become a choreographer when i was studying in ipgm kampus pulau pinang..my first opportunity is to teach students at school..then, share my knowledge with my friends at college..we enjoyed our moment there..and then here in sydney, i got the opportunity to choreograph for malaysian festival at tumbalong park, darling harbour..it was a really great opportunity even i made a mistake by starting the practice late so some of the routine been cancelled because we didnt have much time to practice it as some of the dancers are first time dancing..but i was a bit regret..because i tend to compete with another person..i was not sincere with my intention..and it turned out upside-down bcoz i feel miserable..competition is good, but i just feel wrong this time..it just like i was not thankful enough with the opportunity i have..

whatever it is..i want to dance more..but i think my time is nearly finish..maybe this 2 years in sydney will be my last years in dancing..maybe after this i will be teaching and sharing my lil knowledge with somebody else..maybe..God's will..insya allah.. :))

somebody help me please..

2010-09-10T06:39:00.001-07:00

chris: im introverted so i dont care what others think of me
chris: introverts done go well at parties
chris: don't^
nisya aziz: emm..
nisya aziz: n y u dont try 2 even change dat
nisya aziz: u seems like give up
nisya aziz: n let dat things just happen
nisya aziz: i know
nisya aziz: myb u r tired of life
nisya aziz: bcoz smtmes i also tired n fed up with life
nisya aziz: but d thing is
nisya aziz: dont let life mold u
nisya aziz: u mold ur life
chris: ahah yea im not very impressed with this planet at all
nisya aziz: but u like it or not
chris: you are tight about that
nisya aziz: u r living on dis planet
nisya aziz: n these people
chris: so what.. for less than 100 years..
chris: that is insignificant
chris: why should i care about anything
nisya aziz: even 1 seconds can b significant
chris: nup i dont believe it
nisya aziz: trust me
nisya aziz: u should believe it
chris: if humans survive for 100 million years
[6:03:12 PM] chris: that is not even 0.000000000000000000001% of the age of the universe
[6:03:12 PM] nisya aziz: u should appreciate ur life more
[6:03:21 PM] nisya aziz: ok
[6:03:35 PM] nisya aziz: dont compare d universe n human
[6:03:41 PM] chris: why not
[6:04:09 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz can u imagine if human live as long as d universe??
[6:04:24 PM] nisya aziz: there will b no universe at all
[6:04:30 PM] chris: im sure the universe is abundant with life
[6:04:35 PM] nisya aziz: coz human r destroyer
[6:04:54 PM] nisya aziz: dats y human live just in a short period
[6:05:01 PM] nisya aziz: n bcoz of dat short period
[6:05:09 PM] nisya aziz: u should appreciate it
[6:05:18 PM] nisya aziz: n God made human 2 do so
[6:05:33 PM] chris: yes humans are destroyers.. so i hope they never colonise another planet and become extinct on earth
[6:05:56 PM] nisya aziz: it can b possible
[6:06:16 PM] nisya aziz: but myb after many2 generation in d future
[6:06:19 PM] nisya aziz: who knows
[6:06:40 PM] nisya aziz: if u keep thinking
[6:06:44 PM] nisya aziz: like dis
[6:07:03 PM] nisya aziz: i think it's better if u commit suicide now
[6:07:16 PM] chris: yes you are right it is better if i do that
[6:07:20 PM] nisya aziz: n y u r still live until now??
[6:07:35 PM] nisya aziz: im not asking u 2 kill urself
[6:07:42 PM] nisya aziz: but please
[6:07:46 PM] chris: it is a good question
[6:07:48 PM] nisya aziz: appraciate ur life
[6:08:00 PM] nisya aziz: even u dont believe in God
[6:08:02 PM] chris: i have contemplated suicide many many times
[6:08:10 PM] chris: but i dont have the willpower for it
[6:08:11 PM] chris: also
[6:08:28 PM] nisya aziz: God still want u 2 live
[6:08:45 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz u still have d chance 2 think about ur life
[6:08:48 PM] chris: god is not real
[6:08:51 PM] chris: and if he was
[6:08:55 PM] chris: i would be his enemy
[6:09:10 PM] nisya aziz: honestly
[6:09:38 PM] chris: the useless god cant stop suffering on a massive scale
[6:09:41 PM] chris: what use is he ?
[6:09:52 PM] chris: no use to anyone
[6:10:40 PM] chris: anyway, the laws of nature dont require a god
[6:10:47 PM] chris: they work by themself
[6:11:11 PM] chris: throw your koran in the bin and read a book on physics
[6:11:26 PM] chris: that is the true god
[6:16:30 PM] nisya aziz: n where does d human get d brain 2 think about physics??
[6:16:38 PM] chris: evolution
[6:17:07 PM] nisya aziz: n how d nature can b running by themselves if there's no 'director' of it??
[6:17:20 PM] nisya aziz: n how evolution happened??
[6:17:27 PM] chris: chemical reactions
[6:17:35 PM] nisya aziz: nothing is happening bcoz it just want 2 happen
[6:17:58 PM] nisya aziz: n how chemical reaction happened??
[6:18:36 PM] nisya aziz: have u ever think how even 1 atom can b existed??
[6:18:55 PM] chris: those sorts of questions require a lifetime of study to understand, everyone else just assumes that its magic and a god did it.. that is the lazy way to think
[6:18:57 PM] nisya aziz: u want me 2 throw my qoran??
[6:19:10 PM] nisya aziz: but have u ever read it??
[6:19:30 PM] nisya aziz: it's not just a book or just words in it
[6:19:34 PM] nisya aziz: if u read it
[6:19:38 PM] nisya aziz: n understand it
[6:19:53 PM] nisya aziz: it is about physics,biology, chemistry
[6:20:24 PM] nisya aziz: all of d things happened n will happen stated in dat book
[6:20:28 PM] chris: i have read some passages from it, some of it is good philosiphy, some of it is cultist nonsense
[6:20:38 PM] nisya aziz: for example??
[6:20:53 PM] nisya aziz: give me 1 example of dat cultist nonsense
[6:21:04 PM] nisya aziz: i will explain it 2 u
[6:21:20 PM] chris: haha i read those many years ago, i spend my reading time looking at science journals
[6:21:52 PM] nisya aziz: n do u know dat science comes from dat book dat u want me 2 throw??
[6:22:09 PM] chris: the koran coudnt tell you how astar is born
[6:22:17 PM] chris: or how to treat lukeamia
[6:22:30 PM] chris: or how many galaxies there are in the universe
[6:22:31 PM] nisya aziz: n i think u know dat many of scientist comes from people who study dat book
[6:22:37 PM] chris: or how many other planets have life on them
[6:23:18 PM] chris: the koran cant tell you how the moon formed
[6:23:23 PM] nisya aziz: but earlier people started 2 think n study bout all of dis bcoz they study qoran
[6:23:37 PM] chris: no
[6:23:41 PM] nisya aziz: yes
[6:23:51 PM] chris: i would say most scientists have benever even seen a koran
[6:25:02 PM] chris: you cant get anything useful done while reading a work of fiction
[6:25:32 PM] chris: you are helping no one
[6:25:37 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[6:25:47 PM] chris: praying is a way you think you're helping when you are really just talking to yourself
[6:25:48 PM] nisya aziz: im not trying to help anybody
[6:26:20 PM] nisya aziz: im just trying to make urself clear
[6:26:59 PM] nisya aziz: life is meant to b live
[6:27:09 PM] chris: says who?
[6:27:22 PM] nisya aziz: n actually praying is helping urself 2 b calm
[6:27:40 PM] nisya aziz: says me
[6:28:09 PM] nisya aziz: n u should know about dta
[6:28:12 PM] nisya aziz: if not
[6:28:23 PM] nisya aziz: y u r still alive now??
[6:28:49 PM] chris: i dont understand how life works, so im not going to just assume things and join a cult
[6:29:07 PM] chris: because the cults know nothing
[6:29:09 PM] chris: they are there to scam people
[6:29:13 PM] chris: gain power
[6:29:14 PM] chris: control people
[6:29:16 PM] chris: etc
[6:29:24 PM] chris: scientology
[6:29:26 PM] chris: classic example
[6:29:35 PM] nisya aziz: if u hate power
[6:29:47 PM] nisya aziz: means u hate urself
[6:30:04 PM] nisya aziz: coz even within urself
[6:30:11 PM] nisya aziz: u also got ur own power
[6:30:18 PM] chris: i dont hate or love myself
[6:30:36 PM] nisya aziz: n y??
[6:30:49 PM] chris: loving yourself means you have an ego
[6:30:57 PM] chris: hating yourself means you have a mental illness
[6:31:13 PM] nisya aziz: everybody has his/her own ego
[6:31:41 PM] nisya aziz: it just d matter is how high is ur level of ego
[6:31:56 PM] nisya aziz: n i can say dat u have ur own ego
[6:32:30 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz u r optimist with ur own thought n believe
[6:32:49 PM] nisya aziz: n i have my own ego
[6:33:17 PM] nisya aziz: n i have myy own mental illness
[6:33:26 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz smtmes i hate myself
[6:33:35 PM] nisya aziz: especially if i did mistakes
[6:33:57 PM] nisya aziz: n i believe u also have ur own mental illness
[6:34:13 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz there's a time u hate urself
[6:34:23 PM] chris: when?
[6:34:29 PM] nisya aziz: as u said u tried 2 commit suicide b4??
[6:34:30 PM] chris: i dont hate myself as i said
[6:34:37 PM] nisya aziz: m i rite??
[6:34:42 PM] chris: thats not about hating myself
[6:34:51 PM] chris: thats about rejecting life
[6:34:54 PM] chris: as in i think its rubbish
[6:35:03 PM] chris: not worth the time
[6:35:04 PM] nisya aziz: rejecting life = hating urself
[6:35:08 PM] chris: incorrect
[6:35:11 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz u dont want 2 live
[6:35:24 PM] chris: it doesnt mean i want to be someone else
[6:35:32 PM] nisya aziz: u dont want 2 receive d life as u r n u have now
[6:35:43 PM] nisya aziz: u hate urself 4 dat
[6:35:48 PM] nisya aziz: u hate urlife
[6:35:52 PM] chris: nope
[6:35:57 PM] nisya aziz: n u dont want it anymore
[6:35:57 PM] chris: still incorrect
[6:36:02 PM] chris: if i hated my life
[6:36:06 PM] chris: i would rather be someone else
[6:36:09 PM] chris: and live
[6:36:13 PM] chris: that is not the case
[6:36:26 PM] chris: i can pretty much do what i want
[6:36:36 PM] chris: i could marry, have a family , a nice home etc etc
[6:36:45 PM] nisya aziz: then wat case is dat when u were trying 2 kill urself??
[6:37:08 PM] nisya aziz: n wat case is dat when u said u dont want to live ur life??
[6:37:30 PM] nisya aziz: n wat case is dat when u dont want 2 appreciate wat u have now??
[6:37:34 PM] chris: you are someone who just assumes people who commit suicide hated something or
[6:37:37 PM] chris: had a bad life
[6:37:42 PM] chris: that is var from true
[6:37:44 PM] chris: far
[6:37:47 PM] nisya aziz: i dont say dat u have a bad life
[6:37:55 PM] nisya aziz: im pretty sure u r not
[6:38:03 PM] chris: i dont have a bad life
[6:38:06 PM] nisya aziz: it just u dont appreciate it
[6:38:21 PM] chris: i want to experience death
[6:38:36 PM] nisya aziz: n then u want to live again??
[6:38:42 PM] nisya aziz: not a chance bby
[6:38:47 PM] chris: and as i said, i think this is a stupid planet
[6:38:54 PM] nisya aziz: we dont know wat will happen after we dead
[6:39:06 PM] chris: i want to die, because i can imagine a better world
[6:39:16 PM] nisya aziz: IMAGINE???
[6:39:42 PM] nisya aziz: dis is reality
[6:40:06 PM] nisya aziz: n if it is mot a better life there after u dead
[6:40:14 PM] chris: as i said
[6:40:19 PM] chris: less that 100 years remember
[6:40:19 PM] nisya aziz: wat do u want 2 do??
[6:40:35 PM] chris: dieing 50 years early wont make any difference anyway

[6:41:07 PM] nisya aziz: n wat make difference if u die today??

[6:41:14 PM] chris: nope

[6:41:19 PM] nisya aziz: everyday is just d same

[6:41:37 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz u just b in ur comfort zone

[6:41:46 PM] nisya aziz: no adventure in life

[6:41:55 PM] chris: i have had plenty of adventure

[6:42:04 PM] chris: you have gone back to thinking its about me and what i want

[6:42:11 PM] nisya aziz: u just choose 1 straight way 4 ur whole life

[6:42:11 PM] chris: i dont want anything

[6:42:23 PM] chris: if i dont want anything, then why should i live ?

[6:42:30 PM] nisya aziz: yeah

[6:42:34 PM] nisya aziz: y should u??

[6:42:42 PM] chris: you want things

[6:42:50 PM] chris: you want a bf, marrage family etc

[6:42:55 PM] nisya aziz: i want 2 do many things in my life

[6:43:00 PM] chris: you have a reason to live

[6:43:04 PM] nisya aziz: i want 2 have my own adventure

[6:43:06 PM] chris: you want

[6:43:08 PM] chris: i dont want

[6:43:12 PM] nisya aziz: i want 2 live my life

[6:43:23 PM] nisya aziz: n y should u??

[6:43:35 PM] nisya aziz: u dont want anything

[6:43:44 PM] chris: yep

[6:43:45 PM] nisya aziz: then y should u live??

[6:43:50 PM] chris: not wanting anything means no ego

[6:44:05 PM] nisya aziz: nope

[6:44:10 PM] chris: yet it is not so easy to just suicide

[6:44:11 PM] nisya aziz: absolutely wrong

[6:44:29 PM] nisya aziz: u have ur own ego

[6:44:46 PM] nisya aziz: u denied wat im said 2 u

[6:44:54 PM] nisya aziz: dats an ego

[6:45:04 PM] nisya aziz: u dont want 2 live ur life

[6:45:08 PM] nisya aziz: dats another ego

[6:45:19 PM] nisya aziz: u dont want 2 mix with ppl

[6:45:24 PM] nisya aziz: another ego

[6:45:43 PM] nisya aziz: u dont appreciate ppl who love or will love u

[6:45:50 PM] nisya aziz: another big of ego

[6:46:07 PM] nisya aziz: u dont believe in God

[6:46:12 PM] nisya aziz: another big ego

[6:46:35 PM] nisya aziz: u think wat u believe n thought is always right

[6:46:40 PM] nisya aziz: another big ego

[6:47:00 PM] nisya aziz: n who said u dont have any ego??

[6:47:14 PM] nisya aziz: u r 1 egoistic man

[6:47:17 PM] nisya aziz: n i admit

[6:47:23 PM] nisya aziz: im an egoistic

[6:47:25 PM] chris: ego is thinking of oneself

[6:47:40 PM] chris: doing things in the interest of oneself

[6:47:53 PM] chris: pride

[6:47:54 PM] nisya aziz: n doesnt it match with wat i have listed above??

[6:48:02 PM] nisya aziz: u hold ur pride

[6:48:17 PM] nisya aziz: uphold ur believe n thoughts

[6:48:18 PM] chris: nope, not proud at all

[6:48:29 PM] chris: i believe them because it is logic

[6:48:37 PM] chris: logic will never fail you in maths

[6:48:44 PM] chris: so why would it anything else

[6:48:45 PM] nisya aziz: ego doesnt mean u need 2 b proud

[6:48:56 PM] nisya aziz: of urself

[6:49:35 PM] nisya aziz: u believe it

[6:49:55 PM] nisya aziz: n u try 2 prove wat u believe is right

[6:50:13 PM] nisya aziz: n others r wrong

[6:50:36 PM] nisya aziz: doesnt it an ego kind of attitude??

[6:51:40 PM] chris: well i can proove the things i say are right

[6:51:46 PM] chris: can you?

[6:51:55 PM] nisya aziz: i can

[6:52:29 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz i have d prove

~~sya taw bukti itu wujud..cuma sya xpasti bukti terbaik yg blh bg kat dia n..i want 2 prove dat al-quran is d source of sciences, God is exist, n life should b appreciate..can anybody help me, please??

there's d conversation dat i had with him b4 in the previous2 entry..

please3x..really want 2 prove those 3 things to him..

tq 4 ur help.. :)

p/s: slmt hr rye..maaf zahir batin..

sometimes a song is not just a song..

2010-08-29T03:54:00.000-07:00

dis song is actually in a different language (means not in english)..and 1 of my friends keep listening 2 dis song repeatedly..and it makes me wonder, wat is actually it means until it becomes so special to him..so i just figured it out..and wow, it turns up with a very good lyric..very meaningful..especially on d last paragraph when it says " you're stepping on the burning charcoal barefoot..and you keep walking.."..it has a soft spot for me there..

O RE PIYA - Aaja nachle

o re piyaa haaye o re piyaa... (O beloved...)

uRne lagaa kyon man baawlaa re (Oh, why did my crazy soul begin to fly?)

aayaa kahaa.n se yah ho.nslaa re (Oh, where did this courage come from?)

o re piyaa o re piyaa haaye (O beloved...)

taanaa-baanaa taanaa-baanaa buntii hawaa haaye buntii hawaa (The breeze teases and taunts me, oh, the breeze plays havoc with me.)

buu.nde.n bhii to aaye nahii.n baaz yahaa.n (Even the raindrops won't shower here again.)

saazish me.n shaamil saaraa jahaa.n hai (The whole world is part of the intrigue.)

har zarre zarre ki yah intezaar hai (I never stop waiting.)

o re piyaa (O beloved!)

o re piyaa haaye o re piyaa haaye (O beloved...)

o re piyaa (O beloved!)

nazare.n bole.n duniyaa bole (The glances are telling, the world is telling)

dil kii zabaan haaye dil kii zabaan (the story of my heart, oh, the story of my heart.)

ishq maa.nge ishq chaahe koii tuufaan (Love prays, love wishes for a hurricane.)

chalnaa aahiste ishq nayaa hai (A new love slowly walks in.)

pahalaa yah waadaa ham ne kiyaa hai (This is the first promise we gave.)

na.nge pairo.n pe a.ngaro.n chaltii rahii haaye chaltii rahii (You were stepping on burning charcoal barefoot, oh, you kept walking.)

lagtaa hai ke gairo.n me.n me.n paltii rahii haaye (Oh, it seems that you were brought up among strangers.)

le chal wahaa.n jo mulk teraa hai (Take me to your country.)

zaahil zamaanaa dushman meraa hai haaye (Oh, the cruel world is my enemy.)

o re piyaa haaye o re piyaa haaye... (O beloved...)

~~~i just love the last paragraph, honestly..it just like the world is the burning charcoal..and we step on it barefootedly..n watever happen, we just need to keep going on walking..ti reach our destination and enjoying the journey..even it is hurting, but that is the risk of life..even we want 2 keep on walking or go back, our feet still feeling the pain from the burning charcoal..n that is LIFE..

learning about others..what he's thinking n believe..

2010-08-09T16:08:00.000-07:00

[8/2/2010 6:14:48 PM] nisya aziz: mind if i ask u something personal??
[8/2/2010 6:16:02 PM] chris: Ok
[8/2/2010 6:16:09 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:16:37 PM] nisya aziz: u dant believe in God, right??
[8/2/2010 6:16:46 PM] chris: No
[8/2/2010 6:17:03 PM] nisya aziz: so wat do u think about how things happen in life??
[8/2/2010 6:18:49 PM] chris: Not very important
[8/2/2010 6:19:48 PM] nisya aziz: sorry if my questions offend u
[8/2/2010 6:19:54 PM] chris: Nope
[8/2/2010 6:20:10 PM] nisya aziz: im just curious 2 know more about ur thinking
[8/2/2010 6:20:33 PM] nisya aziz: u r different
[8/2/2010 6:20:34 PM] chris: I think its likely u have some other life when u die
[8/2/2010 6:21:03 PM] chris: Maybe u live the life of everyone and everything one at a time
[8/2/2010 6:21:11 PM] nisya aziz: so u believe about being reborn??
[8/2/2010 6:21:16 PM] chris: No
[8/2/2010 6:21:24 PM] nisya aziz: then??
[8/2/2010 6:21:24 PM] chris: Just think its likely
[8/2/2010 6:21:32 PM] nisya aziz: oowh..ok
[8/2/2010 6:21:40 PM] chris: I dont believe in anything untill its proven
[8/2/2010 6:22:13 PM] chris: But i dont think god is likely
[8/2/2010 6:22:14 PM] nisya aziz: how bout things dat happening in life??
[8/2/2010 6:22:29 PM] nisya aziz: fate??
[8/2/2010 6:22:41 PM] chris: Fate is a paradox
[8/2/2010 6:23:01 PM] chris: We can choose what we do
[8/2/2010 6:23:13 PM] chris: But we are products of our environment
[8/2/2010 6:24:47 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:24:51 PM] nisya aziz: interesting
[8/2/2010 6:25:20 PM] nisya aziz: but wat u mean by we r product of our environment??
[8/2/2010 6:25:30 PM] nisya aziz: can u elaborate dat??
[8/2/2010 6:25:55 PM] chris: Your experiences will influence your thinking and ultimaltly your actions
[8/2/2010 6:26:13 PM] chris: You cant choose all your experiences
[8/2/2010 6:26:20 PM] chris: Like where u came from
[8/2/2010 6:26:28 PM] chris: Your family
[8/2/2010 6:26:33 PM] chris: Your body
[8/2/2010 6:26:54 PM] chris: What u look like
[8/2/2010 6:27:14 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:27:26 PM] nisya aziz: how bout heaven n hell??
[8/2/2010 6:27:38 PM] nisya aziz: do u believe it??
[8/2/2010 6:27:48 PM] chris: No
[8/2/2010 6:28:35 PM] chris: I belive whats in the universe
[8/2/2010 6:28:42 PM] nisya aziz: but people said every deeds done have the rewards
[8/2/2010 6:28:52 PM] nisya aziz: such as??
[8/2/2010 6:29:07 PM] chris: So if u are good to someone
[8/2/2010 6:29:17 PM] chris: Maybe when you live their life
[8/2/2010 6:29:30 PM] chris: U get the reward
[8/2/2010 6:29:47 PM] chris: If u kill someone.. U wll be the victim next
[8/2/2010 6:29:50 PM] chris: Who knows
[8/2/2010 6:29:59 PM] chris: But i dont believe in heaven and hell
[8/2/2010 6:30:27 PM] chris: And as for the universe there are 100 billion galaxies out there
[8/2/2010 6:30:47 PM] chris: We can never see all of it
[8/2/2010 6:31:19 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:31:23 PM] chris: Ther is definatly life there
[8/2/2010 6:32:15 PM] nisya aziz: u cant c d galaxies
[8/2/2010 6:32:23 PM] nisya aziz: but u believe it there
[8/2/2010 6:32:40 PM] nisya aziz: d same goes with heaven n hell
[8/2/2010 6:32:41 PM] chris: U can see many of them
[8/2/2010 6:32:53 PM] nisya aziz: u cant c them
[8/2/2010 6:33:06 PM] nisya aziz: but y dont u believe its existence??
[8/2/2010 6:33:33 PM] chris: U can see pics of them on the net
[8/2/2010 6:33:39 PM] chris: Of couse u can see them
[8/2/2010 6:33:44 PM] chris: They are real
[8/2/2010 6:33:48 PM] chris: We live in one
[8/2/2010 6:34:29 PM] nisya aziz: ok
[8/2/2010 6:34:40 PM] nisya aziz: answers accepted
[8/2/2010 6:34:44 PM] nisya aziz: hehehe
[8/2/2010 6:35:05 PM] nisya aziz: n wat do u think about d living things??
[8/2/2010 6:35:06 PM] chris: Life is a biological chemical reaction
[8/2/2010 6:35:31 PM] chris: It can happen on a planet with the right conditions
[8/2/2010 6:35:32 PM] nisya aziz: bcoz all d religions claims God made them
[8/2/2010 6:36:06 PM] chris: Science can explain how life started
[8/2/2010 6:36:18 PM] chris: But it cant explain conscience
[8/2/2010 6:36:28 PM] chris: Conscienceness
[8/2/2010 6:36:37 PM] nisya aziz: such as??
[8/2/2010 6:37:16 PM] chris: Thinking and death etc
[8/2/2010 6:38:08 PM] nisya aziz: so wat do believe about those conscienceness??
[8/2/2010 6:38:23 PM] chris: Dont know
[8/2/2010 6:38:23 PM] nisya aziz: *wat do u believe
[8/2/2010 6:38:37 PM] chris: I dont belive anything
[8/2/2010 6:38:40 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:39:01 PM] chris: I only belive the things science proves
[8/2/2010 6:39:47 PM] chris: I dont fear hell or god
[8/2/2010 6:40:17 PM] chris: I think religions started as a scam
[8/2/2010 6:40:17 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:40:21 PM] chris: They still scam ppl
[8/2/2010 6:40:38 PM] nisya aziz: but sometimes science also make mistakes
[8/2/2010 6:40:48 PM] chris: Like?
[8/2/2010 6:40:50 PM] nisya aziz: clone for example
[8/2/2010 6:40:59 PM] chris: What about clones?
[8/2/2010 6:41:49 PM] nisya aziz: they try 2 make life
[8/2/2010 6:41:59 PM] nisya aziz: but they couldnt
[8/2/2010 6:41:59 PM] chris: Plants are cloned to make the same medicine
[8/2/2010 6:42:04 PM] nisya aziz: n even they did
[8/2/2010 6:42:10 PM] nisya aziz: it's not natural
[8/2/2010 6:42:33 PM] chris: Animals have been clones
[8/2/2010 6:42:38 PM] nisya aziz: yeah, plants cloning is a succeess
[8/2/2010 6:42:48 PM] nisya aziz: but not animals
[8/2/2010 6:42:55 PM] nisya aziz: they died
[8/2/2010 6:42:55 PM] chris: They sure have
[8/2/2010 6:43:13 PM] nisya aziz: they r not like d natural ones
[8/2/2010 6:43:26 PM] chris: You might be surprised how advaned it is now
[8/2/2010 6:43:40 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:43:46 PM] nisya aziz: give me a prove
[8/2/2010 6:43:49 PM] chris: In south korea you can get your pet cloned
[8/2/2010 6:44:08 PM] chris: There are companies that do it comercially
[8/2/2010 6:44:34 PM] chris: That has been happening for years
[8/2/2010 6:44:43 PM] nisya aziz: did d animals live as long as d original ones??
[8/2/2010 6:44:53 PM] chris: I dont know
[8/2/2010 6:45:24 PM] nisya aziz: as long as i concern,
[8/2/2010 6:45:58 PM] nisya aziz: there still many weaknesses in making a non-original life
[8/2/2010 6:46:03 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:46:24 PM] chris: Im sure there is
[8/2/2010 6:47:02 PM] nisya aziz: dats wat i said as "sciences also make mistakes"
[8/2/2010 6:47:27 PM] chris: People make mistakes
[8/2/2010 6:47:36 PM] nisya aziz: yup
[8/2/2010 6:47:37 PM] chris: Science is simply fact
[8/2/2010 6:47:52 PM] nisya aziz: ppl make mistakes
[8/2/2010 6:47:53 PM] nisya aziz: :)
[8/2/2010 6:47:58 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:48:08 PM] nisya aziz: how bout ghosts
[8/2/2010 6:48:17 PM] nisya aziz: u believe it??
[8/2/2010 6:48:21 PM] chris: No
[8/2/2010 6:48:35 PM] chris: Imagine how many people have lived and died
[8/2/2010 6:49:00 PM] chris: Ghosts would be everywhere if they were real
[8/2/2010 6:49:15 PM] chris: There would be so many of them u wouldnt be able to move
[8/2/2010 6:50:09 PM] nisya aziz: but they r invisible
[8/2/2010 6:50:26 PM] nisya aziz: n they r everywhere
[8/2/2010 6:50:36 PM] nisya aziz: dats wat ppl told me
[8/2/2010 6:50:52 PM] chris: Right
[8/2/2010 6:51:20 PM] chris: I wonder how they know
[8/2/2010 6:51:58 PM] nisya aziz: there's some research made about it
[8/2/2010 6:52:26 PM] chris: U can research zombies too
[8/2/2010 6:52:31 PM] nisya aziz: they prove d existences of ghost with the wave
[8/2/2010 6:52:32 PM] chris: Doesnt make them real
[8/2/2010 6:52:36 PM] nisya aziz: frequency
[8/2/2010 6:52:40 PM] chris: Nah
[8/2/2010 6:52:59 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:53:04 PM] nisya aziz: :)
[8/2/2010 6:53:15 PM] chris: Theres no machine that can find ghosts
[8/2/2010 6:53:25 PM] chris: Or the whole world would know about it
[8/2/2010 6:53:32 PM] nisya aziz: hehehe
[8/2/2010 6:53:58 PM] nisya aziz: ppl would willing 2 buy it even it costs thousands
[8/2/2010 6:54:02 PM] nisya aziz: hahahaha
[8/2/2010 6:54:33 PM] chris: Yes u dont want ghosts in your house
[8/2/2010 6:54:49 PM] chris: That would be annoying
[8/2/2010 6:55:05 PM] nisya aziz: hehehe
[8/2/2010 6:55:07 PM] nisya aziz: right
[8/2/2010 6:55:18 PM] nisya aziz: couldnt agree more
[8/2/2010 6:55:32 PM] nisya aziz: emm..
[8/2/2010 6:55:44 PM] chris: Scary stories about ghosts and hell

~~here is some of the conversation when i chatted with a person who is an atheist..just want to know his thinking about his believe..it is interesting to know and learn about what others think about what we believe..everybody has his/her own faith..in my opinion, we cant say which one is the right one..just keep it in us..silence faith..whatever it is, im glad that Islam teach me everythig.. :)

we are in so many varieties in this world, which make it so colourful..dont be a prejudice to anybody, because everyone is special..learn about them, knowing them is a great lesson for life.. :)

another observation: clever kids..so cute..

2010-07-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

"mommy..you cannot stand too close too the tv..teacher said it is bad for your eyes"

"i need tissues..i want to wipe my face..im not pretty anymore" (because there's some cheese n sauces on her face after she ate her sandwich)

"no..u shouldnt do like that..put it here..see..butterfly" (doing puzzle)

"daisy said when we make mistakes, we should say sorry..when we want to sneeze, we should say 'excuse me'.."

i always wonder why kids here are so clever and 'petah' (very clever in talking)..and i also made this observation..and this is what i found out..

1. from infant, the parents will read to them bedtime stories..so this habit will trigger their mind..especially kids in age 1-3..they easily can absorb what they hear..here is a prove that i can rely on my observation..

Brain development that takes place prenatally and in the first year of life is more rapid and extensive than previously suspected;
Brain development is much more vulnerable to environmental influence than we ever suspected;
The influence of early environment on brain development is long lasting;
The environment affects not only the number of brain cells and number of connections among them, but also the way these connections are "wired;"

source from: Carnegie Task Force on Meeting the Needs of Young Children, Starting Points, 1994

a simple bedtime stories has a huge impact on children's learning..they even put the story books on the bed sometimes so the child can take a look on the picture every time they want to..start to read you children now.. :)

2. the parents here also provide the kids with the kid's tv program which contain with education thing..they teach their children to watch this program since they are really young..so indirectly, the children will learn by themselves through this environment..and make them know the language faster..

3. the parents are so encouraging..they will play with the kids and within the same time they will teach them simple things..for example : the father wanted to teach the children how to plant a plant..so they went to the backyard and they did it together..it was a playtime to the kids because they were enjoying it..she also learning by doing it herself..they didnt afraid to be dirty as long as they are learning..and then the father told the kids what will happen to the plant..~~this thing really happen when i became a nanny at one of the families here..but what i realize is, they didnt teach the children science, math, or the formal academic things..they just teach the children about something in life..simple things..because they know if they give stress too much on these kids on their earlier stage, it will damage their brains..

4.quality time with the kids..even they are working, they still valueing their quality time with the family..weekend especially..

5. at the age 2, they already send their children to kindergarten..in Malaysia, we have nursery..but here, even at age 2, they also have the syllabus for them..means they are not just playing there or doing nothing..they also learning some simple things..how to go to toilet, how to eat properly, how to wash hands, how to make a sandwich, how to communicate with people, and many simple things but meaningful..

i think that was the reasons why the kids here are so clever..

yesterday is only a day..

2010-07-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

yesterday morning, i woke up n get ready to go to work..but i want to go somewhere else first..but then everything turned upside down..i didnt go for it..but i ended up, being in my room, crying..

another test for me 2day..God, it's your will..i cant deny it..i even cant say no..but i need to accept it with an open heart..i should be thankful because my friends once said that You actually gives us the test because You still loves us..thank you Allah..

Allah, sesungguhnya hanya Kau yang mengerti apa yang ada dalam hati ini..Kau Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untukku, hambaMu yang hina ini..seandainy benar dugaan ini adalah setitik dari kasih sayangMu, Kau berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk menghadapinya..sayangilah hambamu ini..sekali aku terleka, Kau berikanlah peringatan kepada ku agar aku sentiasa waras dan sedar dengan kekuatan Mu..Kau izinkanlah pintu taubat terbuka untukku..

ya Allah..Kau tetapkanlah hati hambaMu ini ya Allah..tetapkanlah hatinya supaya sentiasa kuat mengingatMu..hanya Kau saja Yang Maha Pengasih dan Maha Pemurah ya Allah..janganlah Kau palingkan hatiku dari Mu dengan hanya sedikit goyahan dari dugaan Mu..aku merayu padaMu ya Allah, Kau kuatkanlah pegangan ku, cekalkanlah hatiku, lapangkanlah dadaku, tabahkanlah jiwaku dalam menghadapi sgala kemungkinan..utuhkanlah iman dan taqwaku..tinggikanlah maluku..

Allah, Kaulah tempat kumengadu..Kau memiliki lautan rezeki yang tak bertepi..berikanlah aku secedok rezeki dari lautan Mu..kurniakanlah aku rezeki sekadarnya agar aku tidak leka dengan nikmatMU..aku bersyukur dengan segala nikmat yang Kau berikan..

ya Allah, sesungguhnya Kau lah yang Maha Mendengar dan Pengkabul doa..aku berserah padaMu..

mistakes made..lesson learnt..

2010-07-25T16:32:00.000-07:00

in life there have so many choices..in choosing the choices, do you realize any decision made is actually the best ones..it just how we facing whatever will happen..even people always say "choose the best one"..but if we think back, actually all the choices are the best..why i said so??because even we choose the wrong one, we still get something valuable..WE STILL CAN LEARN..yes, learn from mistakes is actually a really good learning process..

regret we made the mistakes, but then we learn to not to do it next time..so actually there's no regretting in making a bad decision..we can learn so much from our own mistakes..

and we didnt know what will happen next in our life..one mistake might create a huge difference in our life..the most importantly is how we need to learn and overcome the mistake that been done..THINK POSITIVE is the first think that we need to do..

i've made mistakes before..and people hate me because of that..but i have learnt so many lessons after that..first thing is who you can trust..what kind of friends that will stand by you no matter what..those who can stand beside you and become the ones who give their hand to hold when you are afraid..those who help you when you fall, and didnt stop giving you encouragement for you to stand up back, even there's the time when you just want to give up life..those who still at your side when the other people keep run away from you..those who know the truth about you..and those who can keep the secret when you said it is a secret..

and from that mistakes, i've learnt whatever happen is actually a lesson planned for us..only Allah knows what is the best for us and how we need to learn about life..we just need to think positively, not just give up..yeah, it's hard, very hard at first to stand up back after the fall..but put together all the strength you have, insya allah everything will be alright..have you heard that actually God tests us because He loves us??it is true..really true..i admit, before this i always forgot about Him..i just take all my responsibilities as a Muslimah very lightly n easily..but then, i've learnt my lesson that actually He wants me to come back to the right path via all the mistakes i've made..quite irony for me, but that is life..only Allah knows what is the best for us and how we can get the best thing..every choice made is actually has the best side of it even we thought that was the wrong one..

then most of all, family..most people forgot about family when they are in their comfort zone.."no..i didnt forget my family..i call them every week..i send money every month.."..but is that love??is it enough for the parents to receive call once a week just to say "hi mom..how are you??how about dad??sisters??brothers??ok, everything is fine..ok, mom..call you later"..but we can spend hours and hours on the phone or internet for our girlfriends and boyfriends that we get to know when we just reach our teenage age..but mom n dad, we know them since we are born..they are the first people celebrated and welcomed us to the world..actually, the same went with me..but then i've learnt my lesson..anything happen to me, my family is the one who come first to support me..upside down, they will be there..always..actually they are the truly best friends ever..Abah, Mama..im so glad i have you two in my life..Angah, Uda, Kak Cik, Kakak..thanks for being the clown, the counselor, the nurse, the doctor, my best friends..you all are my everything.. :)

so, dont afraid if you made a mistake..it just one test from God to make you learn..be happy and think positively..at least, when you made the mistake, you know you shouldnt done it in the first place, and you will not repeat it again in your whole life..and most of all, you can tell everyone that actually Allah loves you, that's why He still gives you the chance to learn and live..so, chill!!! :)

p/s: think before you act..think about the consequences..and think positively..improve your live..everything will be fine :)

observation: a good husband from a lady's eyes.. (just some of the characteristics)

2010-07-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

it's been a long time that i just made the draft but didnt post anything here..life being hectic bcoz i start working..thank God i found a permanent job 4 this 1 n half year im here..but syesly, it is really hard..i swear, it's a very tough job..oowh..actually i got a job with optus, 1 of d telecommunication service in aussie..if malaysia, it's like digi kot..hehehe..

oowh..actually dis time i want 2 share smthg dat im observing in aussie..

it cant b denied that aussie men r so kind, romantic, understanding n gentlemen, especially as a husband and a father..y i said so??
1. if u walk at a park, beach, supermarket, or anywhere, u can c dat dis men holding their babies n kids instead of moms..they know they r stronger than d women..so gentlemen n understanding..n d moms can shop the groceries..u know dat moms r d cooks in d house so they know wat 2 buy better than d men..m i right??so here we can see dat they r sharing d responsibilities..
2. i've worked with some families in Australia as a housekeeper or babysitter..wat i can see is while the moms doing their core houseworks/works (even some of them not), the dads will take care of the babies/kids..he will play with them at d backyard or bring them 2 d park..even some would say "dont disturb mommy..mommy's working"..so heart-melting..
3. 3 out of 4 families that i've been worked with, the dads r d ones who did the tuck-in-the-kids-on-the-bed thing..even they will read the bedtime stories to the kids..and 2 out of 3 the moms joining in, and one of them was hugging the baby girl while the dad reading the stories..so happy family style..and even the baby cry in the night, the husband will get up n heat the milk in the microwave 4 d baby..n this is a true story..i saw it with my own eyes..
4. the dads r so romantic with their children..they treat them with full of love and like their kids r princes/princesses, like their lovers..so u just can imagine how they treat their wife..there's a scene where this girl was sulking with their parents..a tough time for her mom..then her dad came and try to soften her heart..and he did it!!he make her laugh..and her mom told me "ooowh..dis girl already stole my boyfriend and she is soo daddy's girl"

i didnt mean dat malaysian guys or other guys from other countries is bad..no!!!!it just, there have differences of the ways men treating their families in malaysia & aussie (other countries i dont know..never been there 2 observe)..so we might take the good things as the guidance and improve the not-good ones..

and i really hope my future husband can b like one of them (just the characters ok, didnt mean any aussie man ok..but if God's will, i just accept him with all my heart..hehehe) :P

p/s 1: for any guys who read this..please think back..can u b like one of them??if yes, i can say dat all women r hoping 2 have a husband like u..so, b proud if u r a romantic, understanding, kind, and gentleman..fill ur life with love, man!!!

p/s 2: when i told my mom about my stories n observation, mama said "that's ur abah" with a smile..weee~~abah..im so proud that i have u as my dad..even mama proud of having u as her husband..wish i could have one like u as my future hubby.. :) see..a proof that a malaysian guy also can b understanding, kind, generous, romantic, n gentleman like dis..it can b happen anywhere, or whoever u r, or whenever u come from..

something dat i cant say out loud bcoz im just a dark, sinned shadow..

2010-07-17T00:28:00.000-07:00

people said if there's people hurting you, you just shut up n dont make urself lower 2 his/her level..but what if it's hurt you so damn much until u couldnt stand it anymore?? should u just shut up and watch n listen whatever they have said n done??

one mistake from u is enough 2 b hated by other people..but hundreds mistakes from other people towards u is ok, forgettable..is it fair??

this people want u 2 beg them 4 apologies..but how bout them??not even a word of sorry being heard..ooowh, it just because one mistake dat u made n they hate u, so u r so damn devil n they so white angels..

it is hard 2 apologies..it is hard 2 forget..yeah, i know n i understand..but im also a human..same goes with u..u want me 2 respect u, but u treat me like im a frozen doll..is it fair??

if i speak up, u just ignore..if i keep quiet, u just dont get it enough 2 hurt me more n more..why??n why u pretend of being my friends if u hate me??it's hurt me even more if u just back-stabbing me silently bcoz i think u r my friends..i trust u..

aah..it's hard 4 me 2 speak up anything just bcoz i m d sinned one..not u..but please do listen..i m also a human who still have feelings..n yeah i m d sinned one but im trying 2 change..how bout u??just keep talking bout religion things doesnt make u r d angel..n sorry 2 say, i've lost my respect towards u already..

so damn tired..so damn sleepy..so damn hungry.

2010-07-11T03:42:00.000-07:00

the story begins on Saturday 10th July 2010..

6.30 pm - woke up n get ready 2 go 2 work at leichhardt..yesterday a man called me and askes me 2 come 4 a trial period 4 a work at a boutique named CELEGANCE..n he gave me this website 2 have a brief about what is the boutique sells..u want 2 know more, click this link.. celegance boutique

7.30pm - walked in the mist 2 go d macquarie university station..damn it's cold like u sit in d freezer..checked the temperature, it was 3degree..didnt take any breakfast xcept a glass of juice bcause felt not hungry..the journey was about 1 hour n a half..taking d train 2 town hall n then took d 438 bus 2 d parramatta road at leichhardt..

9.30am - arrived at parramatta road n searching 4 d boutique..it just small one, but wow!!it is a boutique..n from outside, i can see the dresses inside..n oo my gosh!!im so excited..but it opens at 10 am and i need 2 wait outside untill Chris, the owner came 2 open it..he told me 2 come at 10 am..but seemed dat i arrived earlier..

10.10am - Chris arrived n welcomed me..he just briefed me about the shop a little bit n then customers come..a bride-2-b, 3 bridesmaids, d bride-2-b's mother n her future mother-in-law..they came 2 try their dresses dat they ordered b4..STUNNING!!but there's some adjustment that Chris need 2 do because 1 of d bridesmaids lost a lot of weight..so her dress bcame so loose..then i learnt dat this boutique actually is a boutique where u can come in and give d design dat u want, consult d designer which is Chris himself, n d dress is specially made 4 u with ur own measurement..n it usually takes 6 weeks 2 make a dress which is handmade at its own factory at vietnam..n then so many people came in n out n i've learnt a lot in just a short while..huh~~damn tired because didnt sit at all 4 about 6 hours..n wat i can say bout those people who came in, they r so damn rich 2 make their own dress because a minimum cost 4 a made-2-measure & own-customized dress is $8++ ..basically, 4 6hours of trial, there's 8 bride-2-bs bringing in their bridesmaids n some with their mothers, some with the husband-2-bs, some came 2 made the dresses 4 d flower girls, a mom accompany her 10-y.o daughter 2 make a dress 4 her companion function, 4 ladies came in 2 made their own dresses 4 a function, and about 6-7 dresses being tried out dat day n what i can say about d dresses is gorgeous..hope i can have my own 1 one day..then Chris told me that he will contact me back within next week 2 confirm either i got d job or not..put ur hands together n please pray 4 me dat i will get d job bcoz im so glad if i do..please3x..i know there's many girls dying 2 work in d such boutique, surrounding by beautiful dresses n cute kids who come in 2 try their flower-girls dresses..

4.30pm - arrived at my room n feeling so damn tired n having a bad back-pain (period-pain) because i was standing 4 6hours in d 1st day of menstruation..sleep 4 a while..

6.15pm - received a call from a woman asked 4 a favor 2 her babysit her 1-year-old baby girl 4 a night bcoz she n her husband got a party 2 attend..at 1st, im so reluctant 2 take it but then "ok" because she said she didnt know any1 2 take care of d baby n she already put an ad at gumtree.com dat evening but nobody reply..n she got my number from her friend who i babysitted her son before..n she also asked me to clean the house n will pay $100 4 d night..then she asked me either i can drive because she n her husband cant drive bcoz they r drunk..oook, now im worried about d baby..she also cant remember her address n told me 2 look 4 d address at d ad that she posted..10minutes from wynyard station..should b no prob..asked noni 2 accompany me, but she said she's too tired after had a dance practice dat morning..n then i asked azizul n he just woke up n agreed 2 go with me as i said we will share the pay..then we ran 2 catch up d train afraid we going 2 b late..then she asked 2 go 2 d newtown station n she will pick us up at d train station..a long way 2 go there bcoz we need 2 change d train at epping then another change at strathfield..14 stations overall..

8.30pm - arrived at newtown station n asked gjol "is dis newtown??looks so oldtown"..darkness, old buildings, n it seems dead..but when we got out from d station we can see many pubs, bars, restaurants still opens n lots of drunk-people everywhere..n i think it should change d name 2 "gaytown" n "homelesstown" as well..huhuhu..she said she's going 2 b late bcoz she couldnt get out from d surprise wedding party thrown by her cousin..so we're waiting from 30 minutes to 1 hour to 2 hours to 2 hours n a half..could see gay couples n people wearing weird-gothic costumes along d street n drunk people shouting n laughing like crazy..SCARY!!thank God gjol with me..

about 10.45 - 11pm - met d drunk-parents..but her husband was not too drunk as she is at d moment..she kept talking n babbling along d way 2 d house..n gjol was d one who's driving directed by d husband..n on d way, she asked her husband "r u sure dis is d way becoz i cant remember any"..God, please save us!!n oowh, actually d place is not 10minutes from wynyard, it was very far away at jannali..i just realized it when gjol took out d train map d next morning when we were trying 2 find way 2 get back to macquarie university..

when we arrived at d house, it was DISASTER..sriously, i've never see n never imagine dat a house can b in dat mess..n it was smelly with d cats' poops..goss, felt like want 2 throw out at d damn moment..bcoz i was feeling sleepy dat time, i forbid myself 2 watch d time bcoz i knew i got a lot of works 2 do..n at first, i told gjol dat he only accompany me not 2 work with me, but he insisted 2 help..(thank God)..huhuhu..we needed 2 clean the living room, the kitchen, scrub d toilet, n fold the laundry..huuuh~~~then gjol went out 2 send them at a bar bcoz they wanted 2 continue d party while d baby was sleeping in her messy room..n they told me 2 heat d milk in d microwave if d baby woke up n when she get her milk, she will back 2 her sleep n it was 99% dat she will not wake up..it was 4am when we finished all d cleaning works except d toilet because we were so damn tired..n i was still in d period-pain..but then d 1% happened..d baby girl keep crying "i want mummy..i want daddy..i want babu.."babu is her doll..i just can give her babu n told her dat mummy n daddy got work 2 do n they will come back soon..about after 30minutes of crying, then she felt asleep on my chest while i was sitting n hugging her..i can feel my legs cramped..but i couldnt move bcoz i didnt want 2 wake her up n hear her cries again..fell asleep with her on my chest, sitting on d sofa about 15 minutes..then i heard knocks on d door n felt so relief when d parents were back..d mother was so drunk n wasted..but d daddy was cool..daddy took d baby n brought her 2 d room n asked d baby 2 go 2 sleep while he's reading a bedtime story 4 her..i looked at my handset, it was 5.20am..asked gjol 2 set d alarm at 7 so we can go back 2 muv a.s.a.p 4 d dance practice..before i went off into sleep, i was thinking, "am i ready 2 b a mom??..i regret i came here..dis is a new experience..dis is d hardest job ever..im afraid im going 2 b late 4 d practice 2morrow.."

woke up at 8.30..but it was very hard 2 open d eyes..gosh, we r going 2 b late now..then we just quickly scrubbing the toilet n vacuumed d house 4 d last time n make sure everything is ok, then called d parents' handset 2 tell dat we wanted 2 go..d husband came out from d bedroom n sent us 2 d train station..unfortunately, d train station was closed n we needed 2 get d city rail bus 2 d central b then took d train..but suddenly i realized my phone was missing..it might be left at d room or in d car..either i left it unintentionally or it slipped out from d bag..then we walked n tried 2 find d way 2 house again based on gjol's gps in his n97..thank God he got his gps..but we still lost..it took about an hour finding out d right way n luckily we found it after lost twice..sriously i felt guilty..until now, still feeling guilty..pity gjol bcoz he was in a stomachache n d toilet at d house was so not comfortable..n im also worried bcoz of d 'woman's thing' dat i was having n didnt change since last evening..n i needed 2 b strong 2 fight d period pain..

got back 2 muv admin 4 dance practice at 1pm..we were very3x late..n my energy was at 0.5% bcoz i didnt had any meal 4 2days except pistachios n fries..n i know i pissed them off 4 making them waiting 4 a long time..im so soooo sorry..i didnt expect it will happen like this..i didnt expect they will take us away from wynyard as i thought before..i didnt expect that house would be dat mess..i didnt expect dat i couldnt sleep at all night..i didnt expect dat i cant remember d last tme i ate properly (now after i think so many times, it was friday..two days ago dat i ate something properly)..i didnt expect i left d phone..i didnt expect dat we lost d way twice..i didnt expect dat train station would close on dat day..i didnt expect dat i would get dis damn nightmare as an experience..i didnt expect dat i would pissed off people today..if i do, if i knew all dis thing will happen, i will not accept d offer/ give d favour / help her..i would love 2 continue my sleep n go 2 d dance practice, eat well, sleep well..normal life..

but EXPERIENCE IS THE GREATEST TEACHER..think positive, nisya.. :)

p/s: for those who i made you pissed off today, im so sorry..danny, yus, afiq, hilmi, syue, noni, intan, niza, mei, swan, chris..sorry 4 making u all waiting 4 me n gjol..n 4 gjol, im so sorry 4 bringing u a nightmare n thanks a lot 4 being an important part of dis nightmare, in a positive way..

precious things dat i miss

2010-07-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

shuffling the pictures in my laptop 2 c which ones dat i should bring 2 d "intercultural performance project" next meeting make me feel homesick..i miss all of them..my Abah, Mama, sisters n brother, Tok Mak n Tok Bah cousins, aunties n uncles, Nik Zaiton, and all of them in Malaysia..

i want 2 go back 2 Malaysia!!!please somebody support 4 d flight.. :'(

Mama,
i miss ur masak lemak cili padi, nasi goreng tom yam, udang sweet sour..i miss ur 'bebelan'..i miss 2 hear stories from u while we r cooking 2gether at d kitchen..i miss 2 c u playing d computer games n getting frustrated when u lost..i miss u very much..

Abah,
i miss 2 hear ur advice..i miss 2 hear ur calm voice reciting d prays during d solat jemaah..i miss ur jokes n laughs..i miss ur voice saying "Along..g bg mkn ayam jap"..i miss ur request 4 anything dat i can cook 4 u..i miss u very much..

Angah,
i miss ur voice singing..i miss ur hairy legs, but u still wearing shorts..i miss 'kutuk' ur mcdonald-hair..i miss having fight with u..i miss 2 share stories with u..i miss u so much..

Uda,
i miss 2 share stories with u..i miss 2 nag u all day..i miss 2 get mad at ur laziness..i miss our dressing time..i miss 2 watch movies with u..i miss 2 shout 2 call u come out from ur room..i miss u very much..

kak Chik,
i miss 2 'membebel' at u..i miss 2 look at u playing with the chicken..i miss 2 catch u and tickle u all over..i miss 2 bite u..i miss it when u pull face over me..i miss 2 'kerah' u do d works..i miss u very much..i miss ur mispronounce of 'r'..

Kakak,
i miss 2 tickle u..i miss 2 hear ur stories..i miss 2 'mengajuk' ur stories..i miss 2 hear u sing with a wrong lyrics..i miss ur dirty face when u play with d mud n sands..i miss ur cry..i miss u very much..

I MISS MY FAMILY VERY MUCH..

"in your own words.."

2010-07-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

im joining a program called as "intercultural performance project:in your own words"..at first i just want to join it because i was thinking dat this might b a good opportunity to know other people from other cultures and background..and perhaps it can help me to strengthen the confidence in communicating in English..and it is a performance project, soo my type..why shouldnt i try, right??

n today is going 2 b d 3rd day of the meeting..but seriously n honestly im so excited (even today i need 2 wear those damn suit dat i hate 2 wear it..huhuhu) why?? because even it's only 2 meetings dat we had together (yesterday n d day before), i've learnt so much..n i dont know about d others, but i can feel d bond between us..d feeling is just there after we shared about ourselves and our family at d day 1..i didnt even know them before (except fiza @ aza)..n now, we have shared so much about our life which make the relationship and the bonding become stronger n stronger..2 days of meetings make us become friends like we've known each other for 2 months..we just shared everything..(even not everything, but still, the story of our life that we might not tell 2 any strangers)

and actually i have no idea about wat the performance will b look like..because Dangerous Daniel and Silly Sally said we are not going to do a stage performance..so.....i dont know..but so far, i like it..because it has the surprise element and actually we r not going 2 b practicing about wat we r going 2 perform..we just getting 2 know each other n in d same time we r practicing 4 d performance..indirectly..lees tension, friendly environment..

and indirectly, these project actually remind me and set me straight about my mission n vision here..i m soooo not regretting my decision 2 join dis thing even i've been left alone 2 take care of d house n all my housemates n friends at the melbourne, enjoying themselves..i m enjoying myself with this project..i've got new friends, new experiences, new lessons, and new stories of life which i cant get d same things anywhere else..sooo glad n sooo thankful.. :D

so this is us..im not there because i was d one wo took d pic..hehehe..

from left: Sexy Siddarth, Dangerous Daniel, Silly Sally, Quiet Christian, Crazy Christina, Daring Daniel, Funky Fiza, Cookie Kim..

oowh..there's more..Smart Stella, Kate, and Enid..sorry Kate n Enid..i cant remember ur adjective..huhuhu..n Syue n Noni will b joining us next week.. :)

false myths..continued from the previous post..

2010-06-29T15:55:00.000-07:00

Myths about Walt Disney: Is Walt really frozen under Pirate?s of the Caribbean?

Over the year?s rumors and myths about Walt Disney and his company have evolved into legends. Legends, which many guests and even some Disney Cast Members today have come to believe as a true part of Disney history.
While some of those legends are true, there are many that are false. Let us take a look at some of the more popular Disney myths.
Walt is frozen and stored at one of the parks

Walt was cryogenically frozen and is placed in a secret vault underneath the Pirate?s of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. It is false, but is one of the longest running Disney rumors today. He was actually cremated Dec. 17, 1966, only two days after his death. Another version of this myth is, since he died before his vision of the ?Florida Project? ? now known at Walt Disney World - was complete, the secret vault where his body is located was placed underneath Cinderella?s Castle at the Magic Kingdom Park.
Guest looses head on Space Mountain

A guest?s head was severed from standing up on the Space Mountain attraction in the Magic Kingdom?s Tomorrowland. Though this did not happen to a guest, it did happen during testing of the ride when Imagineers placed a test dummy on the ride standing up. The dummy?s head was severed from its body.
Swan and Dolphin and the monorail

It has been told by many on a variety of forums and even some Disney Cast Members have been telling guests that the black glass on Disney?s Swan and Dolphin Resorts can be removed to accommodate the path of a monorail from Epcot to Disney?s Hollywood Studios. One story says that there is nothing behind the black glass and another says that there are temporary rooms there, which can be removed easily. Neither are true. Actually the buildings were designed this way and there is no intention, and never was, of putting a monorail through the two resorts.
Cinderella?s Castle can be taken apart for a hurricane

I am not sure where this rumor began, but it is out there. Some say that Cinderella?s Castle is built in a way that allows for easy dismantling in case of a hurricane. This a false and the castle is not built that way, nor as it ever been dismantled.
Walt?s face appears on a bust in the Haunted Mansion

It has been rumored that Walt?s face appears on the bust, which is broken, in the Haunted Mansion attraction. Though there is a similarity, this is simply a myth. It is actually the face of Thurl Ravenscroft, who is known as the voice of Tony the Tiger. His voice has also been featured in the Country Bear Jamboree and in the several Disney animated films, including ?Lady and the Tramp.?
Contemporary rooms are removable

I have been hearing this from transportation Cast Members for as long as I can remember. Though I have found no evidence proving they are removable, I have found information, which may have lead to this rumor. When Disney?s Contemporary Resort was being built, the rooms were constructed off site and then crane lifted into their place on the steel constructed A-frame. This was similar to how parts of Disney?s Polynesian Resort was built.

urban legend..

2010-06-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

this morning i received an email from i-dont-know-who..it's on my spam box..not a forwarded email, because only my email being list as the receiver..kinda of weird..but it's interesting..let me share it here..

Urban Legends Debunked

We all love urban legends, we all love to hear them, and we all love to spread them. From dead animals, dead people, and the living dead, to animals in fast food, humans have an odd desire to be horrified by these tales. This is a list of 10 of the most famous urban legends that are still doing the rounds but are completely false.
Santa Claus was invented by Coca-cola

In the 1930?s, Coca-cola was looking for ways to spread their burgeoning empire during the winter months - traditionally slow for soft drink sales. They hire Haddon Sundblom, a highly regarded commercial illustrator who proceeded to create a series of images of Santa Claus that associated him with coke. His drawings became a regular annual sight for the coca-cola corporation which helped to spur on the idea that they had conceived the image.
In fact, the red-suited jolly man was already a well established depiction of Santa Claus by the 1920s. The New York Times reported this in 1927: A standardized Santa Claus appears to New York children. Height, weight, stature are almost exactly standardized, as are the red garments, the hood and the white whiskers. The pack full of toys, ruddy cheeks and nose, bushy eyebrows and a jolly, paunchy effect are also inevitable parts of the requisite make-up.
Walt Disney?s Body is Cryogenically Frozen

The rumor tells us that Disney, who was well known for being a technical innovator, had his body put into a vat of liquid nitrogen upon his death so that he could be re-animated (har har) when scientists discovered the means. Some versions of the tale even tell us that Walt?s cryo-vat is hidden under the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction in Disneyland!
Sorry to tell you, this is entirely false. On December 15, 1966, Walt Disney died of complications from the treatment he was receiving for lung cancer. Following Disney?s wishes, his family had him cremated (they have since confirmed this fact) and his ashes were interred at the Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, which you can visit to this day.
McDonald?s Shakes are made from reconstituted animal fat

This rumor has been very popular on the internet and I even remember it from my own childhood. The belief was that the liquid poured into the milkshake machine (and the ice cream machine) was reconstituted fat either from pigs or chickens. I even witnessed the filling of one of the machines when I was a teenager and the color and consistency did seem to give weight to the legend.
However, these days fast food restaurants like McDonald?s are required by law to make the full nutritional information of their products available to consumers. This is the complete list of ingredients in a McDonald?s shake: Whole milk, sucrose, cream, nonfat milk solids, corn syrup solids, mono and diglycerides, guar gum, vanilla flavor, carrageenan, cellulose gum, vitamin A palmitate. Admittedly some of these things sound a little weird, but they are all perfectly safe for human consumption and are not animal by-products. Incidentally, carrageenan is a type of seaweed (also called Irish Moss) it is used to control freezing agents in the shakes if it were excluded the milkshake would be a solid block.
The religion of Jedi

Some years ago a strange rumor started to pass around the internet - the claim was that if enough people wrote "Jedi" as their religion on a census form, the government would be compelled to include it as an official religion on the next census. This first started with an English census in 2001, followed by an Australian one, and a New Zealand one in the same year.
Not only is it entirely false (as census departments have nothing to do with the wing of Government that could make this happen), but in Australia, and New Zealand, you can be fined $1000 for falsifying your census results. Not only do you risk a fine, but the census information is used to determine allocation of tax funds, so by lying people are doing other members of society a disservice.
Kentucky Fried Chicken name change

I should first state that I actually believed this urban legend! The legend is that Kentucky Fried Chicken changed its name to KFC because they feared that the word Fried had negative connotations that were not good for marketing. (There was another ludicrous legend that surely no one would believe, it claimed that KFC were breeding super chickens to get more meat from them and by law they could not refer to them as Chickens because they were a new race of animal.)
As it turns out, Kentucky Fried Chicken were not concerned about bad publicity at all in fact, the company has not given a specific reason for the name change. You may be interested to know that the company is now once again beginning to use the original name of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Lemmings occasionally throw themselves from cliffs

This urban legend has quite an awful beginning; in the 1958 Disney documentary White Wilderness, a camera crew forced a group of lemmings off a cliff to document their supposed suicidal behavior. The film was made in Canada and lemmings were brought in for the film after they were purchased from Eskimo children. The lemmings were filmed in a variety of artificial situations and then herded to a cliff where they were pushed to the edge to simulate a migration.
It is unknown whether Disney was aware of the behavior of the film crew, but the fact remains, lemmings do not throw themselves from cliffs.
The Daddy Longlegs

For quite some time there has been a rumor spreading that the daddy longlegs spider is the most poisonous spider but is unable to kill humans simply because its fangs are not strong enough to pierce our skin. In fact, there is a small twist here it is not possible for us to test the toxicity of the spider because of international codes of ethics and amnesty international (for some bizarre reason).
In reality, the most poisonous spiders are the Brown Recluse and the Funnel Web Spider.
Who invented the toilet?

Contrary to popular belief, it was not Thomas Crapper. Crapper is known to most as an ingenious Victorian plumber who came up with the idea of a flushing lavatory. The majority of this deceit comes from a book written in 1969 by Wallace Reyburn: Flushed with Pride: the Story of Thomas Crapper. This author also, interestingly, wrote The Uplifting Tale of Otto Titzling and the Development of the Bra. Crapper was in fact a plumber, and he did take out a number of plumbing related patents in his time, but none was for the flush toilet.
In reality, Alexander Cummings is generally credited as being the inventor of this illustrious gadget, in 1775 (50 years before Crapper was born). Joseph Bramah and Thomas Twyford improved upon Cummings? design by adding the ball-cock. Finally, the use of the term crapper for a lavatory is of unknown origin but is believed to have started out in America.
Made in USA, Japan

I am sure you have all heard this one: apparently the Japanese renamed a town in Japan to USA so they could legally exports goods to the US and conceal their original place of origin. This legend was spurred on by the fact that in post-war American, Made in Japan became synonymous with cheap poorly made goods. It is, of course, ludicrous to think that American customs officially would simply shrug off the import of products that are clearly labelled to mislead.
An interesting addition to this tale is that Sony Corporation intentionally made their Made in "Japan" labels small so that American people would not realize that it was a Japanese company. A large number of Sony shipments were turned away by Customs officials because the labels were smaller than regulations required them to be.

and it will continue in the next post.. :)

stubborn..yeah, dats me..

2010-06-29T02:03:00.000-07:00

bEaR~sY@: he's a disease
bEaR~sY@: n im getting canser
bEaR~sY@: 2 thun aku akn mnanti ssuatu yg aku taw xbbaloi
bEaR~sY@: pnantian yg sia2
bEaR~sY@: 1 keje bdoh
bEaR~sY@: tp aku ttp nk wat
bEaR~sY@: xke bangang nme ny
bEaR~sY@: huhuhu
bEaR~sY@: he never3x get back with me
bEaR~sY@: i know dat
bEaR~sY@: but i just want 2 wait
bEaR~sY@: n hoping
bEaR~sY@: 4 a miracle
bEaR~sY@: dat someday
bEaR~sY@: he will back
bEaR~sY@: i will love him more than i do now
bEaR~sY@: but...
bEaR~sY@: it just a dream
bEaR~sY@: aaarghhh!!!!
bEaR~sY@: c aku ley jd gler taw x cm n
Nik Zaiton is typing...
Nik Zaiton: taw pun
bEaR~sY@: smtimes
bEaR~sY@: ad bnda yg otak kt phm
bEaR~sY@: tp hti kt xbstuju dgn apa yg otak kte..
Nik Zaiton: mmg la
Nik Zaiton is typing...
Nik Zaiton: sbb hati ni ikut perasaan
bEaR~sY@: aku btol2 xpst skrg n
bEaR~sY@: b4 aku dtg
bEaR~sY@: jwpn yg aku dpt ialah pnntian 2thn slama aku kat cn
bEaR~sY@: tp aku dok cn xsmp 2thun
bEaR~sY@: aku dh jd xpsti
bEaR~sY@: btol ke 2 jwpn ny
bEaR~sY@: dia sndr brubah
bEaR~sY@: n aku try lg cri jwpn
bEaR~sY@: dan aku dlm kabus je aku rse
Nik Zaiton: hmmm
Nik Zaiton: sya
Nik Zaiton: kdg2 benda yg kita nnt tu xdpt
Nik Zaiton: bnda yg kta xnanti tu dtg
Nik Zaiton is typing...
Nik Zaiton: ko fikirla yg trbaik

here is d conversation with my BFF..she's d only one yg can cure my keserabutan..err..yeah, we are talking bout dis guy dat i've being crazy about..unfortunately, he's....emm..yeah, it just love at 1 side now..i know he doesnt love me anymore, it just me who love him n being so dumb n crazy n mad..

1 of my friend said, "If he's not worth your time, worth your tears, realize it soon before it's too late. Sometimes, it's better to end it earlier with a broken heart rather than staying for long and get your heart shattered to pieces."

emm..but..when my heart will listen...??? i dont have the answer..

working??works??

2010-06-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

emm..last friday noni, syu and i when 2 chatwood 4 some jobs hunting, accompanied by aza..huh..it's hard..xsangka ssh rupe ny nk cri keje..i've a few offers before..but i need to let go most of it because some reasons:

1. d place is too far 4 me 2 go back n forth evryday
2. 1 of d work 2 do as a nanny is dog-walking..eerrr..i cant take dat one..
3. 4 kids 2 take care of n i need 2 live-in with them..emm..dont think so..
4. receive an offer from a couple 2 b their housekeeper..but d thing is 1 of d work dat i need 2 do is massaging..yucks!!
5. they just wanna pay me 20 per day for 5 hours of work..doesnt worth it..

and at chatwood, we went round and round inside the chatwood chase plaza asking 4 any vacancies..there's some places dat seems convincing..but now, we need 2 wait 4 their calls after submitted all those resumes..n i think, it's better 2 work at any shop as sales assistant @ sales retailer than facing too much problems 2 b a nanny/housekeeper as i've been b4..

now i know..it's hard 2 make money..thanks Abah n Mama 4 spending too much money 4 me from i was in ur tummy until now..it's never get enough 2 pay back all u have spent on me..just pray hard dat i will get any job so i can bring u 2 here next year.. :)

however, thank God we r going 2 b a teacher.. ;)

what i've been dreaming of..

2010-06-22T05:31:00.000-07:00

here i sit,
wonder n ponder,
the dreams that i've got in mind..
those things dat i want 2 do in my life..

i have too many things 2 do in my life..these are some of my dreams..

1. i want 2 b a better person as i want and will bcome a wife, a mom, and a teacher soon..i want 2 a better person as i have to be the guidance 4 my sisters..i want 2 b a better person as i dont 2 b like i was b4..i want 2 b a better person so i can firmly hold Islam in my heart..

2. i want a man who can guide me, whom i can respect, spend my whole life with, a man who can love me as who i am, help me 2 b a better person and not reminding me about my past..a man who can be my future children's greatest daddy and best friend..a man who only loves me, who is my lover and also the most important is the greatest n a very best friend i've ever got..a man who can be so romantic, gentle, sweet,understanding, humble but still firmly n gently guide me as a Muslim in life..and in d same time he can b my best friend who i can turn to when im sad or happy, up n down..who would b there only for me whenever needed..who can calm me with only a hug and a kiss..a man who i need in my life and being d most important thing 4 me as well as i am important 4 him..(i have a name in my heart 4 dis 'man'..but i dont know either he is d one dat i need as he is not mine now..myb he is d one dat i want, but he also might not b d one dat i need..who knows..but still, i still put hope on him 2 b my future hubby..he's part of most of my dreams actually..)

3. i want a house, not only a house, but also a home..where there's all d happiness happen with my beloved future hubby n children..a home where i feel safe in and i love 2 b in..a home that big enough 2 b a love paradise for my hubby n me, a home that big enough 2 b my children's playground..a home that enough to hold our relatives when they want 2 come 4 a visit..im planning a house with a yard with a simple landscape, at least 5 bedrooms (a master bedroom-only for me n my hubby, 3 rooms for my children, n a guest room), a clean n lovely kitchen 4 me 2 cook 4 my lovely fmly..

4. i want 2 open my own dance studio..myb as my part time job, i will teach d teenagers n kids who loves 2 dance..it will b called as a donation class..i wont put how much they want 2 pay, just give how much they r willing 2..im not a pro..it just an alternative 4 them 2 fill their free time..it is better than they go loitering n doing nothing profitable..so they will b welcome 2 come n having fun in my dance studio..

5. i want 2 spend more time with my mama n abah..it's been a long tme dat im being far n 'far' from them..i know i cant pay 2 have back d past..but i want 2 make it out..australia teach me many things about love n family..mama, abah..i love u so much..please 4give me wat i had done b4..i made u guys cried mny tmes..but i promise u, after this moment, i just want u 2 cry 4 d happiness dat i want n will bring 2 u..i promise u i will b a good daughter..

6. i want 2 get married in a hotel and i should invite all my family n friends..i want 2 feel 4 once in my life dat is my happiest day of all..

7. i want 2 go travel with my hubby around d world..rlly hope so..at least i want 2 travel with him at these 3 places: bora-bora island, rome n switzerland..and by d way, angah, i will come 2 german b4 u cme back 2 mlysia..ok..so u should b rdy..myb ur eldest sister will have her hneymoon there..insya allah..hehehe..

8. i want 2 open a co-operative business with my cousins/friends..i want 2 open a bakery/kindergarten/brides' boutique..either one..or if God willing, myb i open all of them..aamiiin..

9. i want 2 live happily ever after without any debts, any huge problems, or poverty..please Allah, let me have a life in Your blessing..

10. i want 2 build d "qanaah" in myself, my hubby, n my children..means satisfy with wat we have without begging for more out of our ability..but doesnt mean dat we just gve up 2 make our life better..
~~~Imam 'Ali was asked about the word of Allah, the Exalted: And indeed, We shall give him the good life (Sura 16:97), Imam `Ali replied," He is the Qana `ah (satisfaction)."
~~~Nothing is more precious than the treasures qana'ah. The greatest wealth is leaving a lot of desire.

alkisah tsbut la satu cerita..

2010-06-14T06:28:00.000-07:00

lame dh update blog kan..hehehe..hr n sya ingin bcerita..ad sowg bdk n..dia tjtuh cnta ngn sowg bdk llaki n..lme dh, n diowg pnh la 'bpsangan'..tp ada bdai yg dtg mybbkan mrka xshaluan dh..ad sesuatu yg drhsiakan shgga skrg yg mybbkan bdai 2 dtg..tp itu adlh 1 krugian yg tramat bg dat girl as she still love dat guy..tp klw dia nk ckp pn cm dh xde gune..sbb dia sndiri yg cari nahas..nk djdkan cter ny..dis girl tpksa mnhan prsaan hti sbb tkut kecewa n mgecewakan, wlaupun she's alrdy disappointed with herself..
then after dat they bcome friends back, without any feelings..tp sbnr ny dis girl still love him very much, n she's willing 2 wait until dat guy can forgive her..dlm tmpoth 2 byk kali dis girl nk tgur dis guy tp dia xmmpu..she's afraid yg dis guy hate her..n she knows there's only 10% of chance 4 her utk blik smula ngn dat guy..so within d terms, byk kali dia nmpk dat guy lalu d dpn mte, tp she's afraid 2 say hi..afraid if dat guy just ignore her n shut her up..byk kali dis girl nk cll, tp xjd..ltak smula phone..byk kali dis girl taip mesej pjg bjela utk dat guy, but at last xntr pn msj 2..bkurun dok dlm phone as draft, but xpnh msuk sent box, n at last deleted..pnh dis girl beristikharah..tp jwpn yg dia dpt ialah penantian..n dis girl trus mnanti shgga 1day ad jwpn lain utk dia..
pnh ada owg ckp kat dis girl, y bcome so idiot 2 wait 4 him yg trang2 dh xnk kat dia..tp she just said "i dont know how n why..i just do"..tp scara jujur ny, dis girl xskuat mn..kdg2 dia sndri pn ragu2 ngn kputusan yg dia wat..sbb dia xpnh wat a decision like dat..but she knows dat someday she will get d answer..so she just keep waiting 4 d answer..even it will take a period of 2,3 years..kdg2 dia pn trse bodoh gak sbnr ny sbb dia taw she just got a small chance, but she still put a big hope on it..it just like putting an egg on d tip of a lidi stick..
n sbnr ny dia ltih utk mnhan perasaan..rse cm nk kawin trus je ngn sape2..tp klw mcm 2, dia akn trus hilangkn d chance dat she got..n sbnr ny hti dia sgt tkunci rpt utk mn2 pluang besar yg lain yg dtg smata2 pluang yg sdkit yg dia ada 2..
emm..kesimpulan ny, dat is life..anything can happen..it just a chapter of her life yg xkeruan..

malaysia vs australia (general environment)

2010-04-25T04:12:00.000-07:00

fitrah mnusia sntiasa wat pbndingn kan??so, kat cn nk share ckt pe beza ny ntr 2 ngara yg sya pnh smp..1 is my hometown, d other 1 is d 1 im living now..malaysia vs australia..bkn nk kte sape hbt atw yg mn 1 better..cume ingin mjwb soalan mrka yg btny "besh x dok sna?" @ "wat r d differences??" @ "how's life kat sna?"..byk beza ny n ad jgk similarities ny..n scara generally je k..n xmmnangkn mn2 phak pn..

1stly, of coz bout d weather..
malaysia - iklim tropikal..nothing much 2 say..
aussie - 4musim..mse smp in feb dh end of summer..but, still hot..felt like roasted in oven..then now dh msuk autumn..most of d tme, sjuk..n spjg autumn n xpnh bkak kpas pn coz dh mcm dok dlm air cond naturally..tp bhye ny, matahari kat cn terik tp udara yg sjuk..so, xprsn ble mse mke tbkar htam..

mlysia - awan cntik mhiasi langit
aussie - nk nmpk awan agk jarang gak r..langit mbiru je..

mlysia - (tgok kat luar rmh..heheehe..)
aussie - dsbbkan weather dia pelik ckt bbnding mlysia, so pokok2 dia pn pelik gak..dia ley jd 2 keadaan..during the summer, kulit pokok tbal, mse autumn, klt pkk mgelupas n tggl btg yg nmpk cm pkok plastik je..blukar pn byk..tp most of the leaves cm daun lalang,runcing2..(oowh..kat campus ada pkok mohabbatein bdret2..sgt cntik)

mlysia - burung kat mlysia yg terbang2 bbas slluny xde yg colourful..htm putih mostly..tol x??tp diowg n pndai mhiburkn dgn kicauan yg mnarik..
aussie - oowh..brung2 dia sgt cntik..parrots pn bterbangn bbs d cn..n stok2 burung yg bbs mcm brung2 yg kat dlm zoo mlysia..colourful jgk..kategori kkk tua gak r..tp sgt kuat mmekak..ad yg bny cm bdk nangis, ad yg suara 'garok2'(garau)..mmg sgt mgejutkan klw tgh bjln sowg2, tbe2 dia bbny..mmg ley lmah jntung r..

mlysia - yg bkeliaran d sna cn ialah kucing n anjing..
aussie - yg bkeliarn ialah wild rabbit n brung2 yg xbape pnd terbang kot, sbb asik nmpk dia jln je..

mlysia - mnusia buang smph mrata tnpa rse bslh..n hny segelintir yg prihatin tntg environment n inisiatif utk ktar smula bhn..n tmpt pbuangan smph mmg btl2 'smph' la..lgkp ngn smph yg btaburan n bau yg mnusuk deria..nk lalu pn xlalu..
aussie - sgt mmntingkn environment..xde buang smph mrata..cri gak tong smph..stiap tong smph ada label..1 for general waste(ttup merah) n d other 1 for recycle items(ttup kuning)..kmas dgn bkas smph yg bttup n odourless..blh ciap bborak lg kat c2..

mlysia - nk dduk kat pdang pn bkira..tkut sluar kotor la, taik kucing la, lkt rumput la, embun bsh la....mcm2 alasn..sggup mcangkung dr dduk ats rumput..
aussie - sesuka hti bring ats rmpt..ciap tdo lg..pdg adlh ntr tmpt yg besh nk lpak..rmpt dia cm rmput carpet..mn2 ad rmput, c2 la blh lpak..no worries..

mlysia - blik air..nme pn blik air..mmg sntiasa brair..
aussie - toilet..tmpt buang air..mmg xde air..pili hny d sinki utk bsuh tgn..ooowh..btapa tsiksa ny kt yg jnis bsuh ngn air nk survive..so, alternative bwk botol air utk myucikn diri slps buang air n wet tissues..

mlysia - air paip kna tapis n msk dulu..bru slamat nk mnum..nk mnd air pns gne heater @ msk air..
aussie - nk mnum air kosong??2 cara..1 beli air mineral..atw pn mnum direct dr paip..air paip d cn dh drawat n sgt3x slamat utk dmnum tnpa dmsak pn..jernih without baw clorin@kapur..n ciap ada choices, hot @ cold..stiap pili ada hot @ cold..sgt heaven dpt mnd air pns tiap2 pg without ssh2 nk msk air..hehehe..air yg cold lak cm air dr refrigerator@air sungai yg sgt sjuk..

mlysia - pelik tgok owg pkai sweater tgh2 hr tgak..n klw sjuk sbb ujn pn xde la owg pkai hand glove..n sya xpnh tdo pkai stokin..lnsung x pnh..n ad owg xpnh pkai slimut tme tdo..
aussie - it's normal kowg nk pakai sweater ke..skirt pndek ke..boxer je ke..xde owg nk ksh..cume kami je la yg ttny2.."dia n xreti sjuk ke??"..n autumn n most of d day pkai stokin tme tdo..bbungkus dgn 2 lpis slimut..agk plik klw owg 2 xbeku klw dia tdo xpkai slimut..

mlysia - sbuk nk tbang pokok, nk mbgun knon ny..
aussie - bgunan byk..pkok lg byk..rumput d mn2..

mlysia - wat rmh kat tnh rata kbykn ny sbb tkut tnh runtuh..
aussie - ssh nk jmp rmh yg btl2 kat tnh rata..kbykn ny kat kwnsn bbukit..so rmh diowg ad yg tgkt bwh n tgkt ats..living room tgkt tgh2..

mlysia - pns2 pn xde gurun..kat kedah 2 pn nme je gurun, tp xla cm gurun pn kan..n smua tmpt lbh krg sama..
aussie - kmarau ada..gurun pn byk..plik sbb in dis country ad gurun n ad tmpt yg snowing, n ad tmpt yg bese2 je..variasi g2..

mlysia - pntai bvariasi..ada pntai selut, pntai lumpur, tepi laut, pantai pasir..mcm2 ad..ble ombak bsar, owg tkut nk mnd..even nk mnd pnt pn sopan jek..
aussie - stkt n jmp pntai bpasir @ bbatu..sgt cntik..ble ombak bsar, lg rmai trun sbb nk surfing..n klw g pntai 2,phm2 la..mmg 'cuci mata'..huhuhu..n klw trun kat gg pnt 2 pkai proper, mmg owg tgok pelik..i've tried..syes owg tgok cm u r an alien..hahaha..

hehehe..nnt sya smbg lg pbndgn dr sya ny observation d cn k.. :)

peransang dari mereka.. :D

2010-03-18T05:28:00.000-07:00

Insya Allah- maher zain

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can`t see which way to go
Don`t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can`t repent
And that its way too late
Your`re so confused,wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don`t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He`s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don`t let me go astray
You`re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way 2x
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah we`ll find the way

Hold My Hand - maher zain

I hear the flower’s kinda crying loud
The breeze’s sound in sad
Oh no
Tell me when did we become,
So cold and empty inside
Lost a way long time ago
Did we really turn out blind
We don’t see that we keep hurting each other no
All we do is just fight

Now we share the same bright sun,
The same round moon
Why don’t we share the same love
Tell me why not
Life is shorter than most have thought

Hold my hand
There are many ways to do it right
Hold my hand
Turn around and see what we have left behind
Hold my hand my friend
We can save the good spirit of me and you
For another chance
And let’s pray for a beautiful world
A beautiful world I share with you

Children seem like they’ve lost their smile
On the new blooded playgrounds
Oh no
How could we ignore , heartbreaking crying sounds
And we’re still going on
Like nobody really cares
And we just stopped feeling all the pain because
Like it’s a daily basic affair

Now we share the same bright sun,
The same round moon
Why don’t we share the same love
Tell me why not
Life is shorter than most have thought

Hold my hand
There are many ways to do it right
Hold my hand
Turn around and see what we have left behind
Hold my hand my friend
We can save the good spirit of me and you
For another chance
And let’s pray for a beautiful world
A beautiful world I share with you

No matter how far I might be
I’m always gonne be your neighbor
There’s only one small planet where to be
So I’m always gonna be your neighbor
We cannot hide, we can’t deny
That we’re always gonna be neighbors
You’re neighbor, my neighbor
We’re neighbors

So hold my hand
There are many ways to do it right
Hold my hand
Turn around and see what have left behind

So hold my hand
There are many ways to do it right
Hold my hand
Turn around and see what have left behind
Hold my hand my friend
We can save the good spirit of me and you
For another chance
And let’s pray for a beautiful world
A beautiful world I share with you

"knapa mnusia diuji?? sbb tndany Dia syg pd kt..
tp, knapa kt?? sbb Dia taw kt mmpu mhadapiny..dan krna Dia sbnr ny mberi prhatian pd kt"

ada godaan yg kt mmpu tepis, ad yg kt klh pd ny..itulah kelemahan..n klemahan kt 2 sbnr ny adlh kekuatan kt..dlm byk2 godaan, ad 1 yg sya btl2 blh wat sya cair..tp klw sya sdg bsdey, godaan itu yg sya akn cari even sya taw slh..tp utk mghlangkan ksdehan..

klw owg lain blh wat, knapa tdak kt??

owg yg plg byk diuji adlh owg yg plg kuat..so, even kt rse kt lmah ktka diuji, sbnr ny kt la yg plg kuat..

~~~~apa yg sya tulis di atas adlh quotation dr mereka2 yg byk mberikan smgt..gosh, kowg sgt baik..even sya byk wat slh kat kowg..ampun kan sya yek kwn2..SAHABAT, itu lah anda bg sy, even bg anda sy hny sebutir pasir di lantai..tp, ada kata anda yg menusuk jauh di dlm minda sy yg mjdkan sy byk b'fikir..sedar @ tidak, dircetly @ indirectly..

lumrah mnusia mnilai seseorg pd kslhn yg tlh dilakukan, sy phm n sy akur..sejuta kali sy mgucapkn maaf pn, ia xkan mmpu mgubah apa2..apapun, sy sgt mghargai khdrn anda d cc sbg SAHABAT yg sntiasa memimpin, mdorong, n mbtulkan apa yg slh pd dr ini..

2010-03-04T17:28:00.001-08:00

rndu~~

2010-03-04T16:02:00.000-08:00

xtaw nape pg n bgn trse emo smcm lak..myb mmpi smlm mpengaruhi sdkt sbyk..dan jge myb rse bslh ngn diri sndr dgn apa yg tjd mlm td..btapa iman ku mdh goyah..

emo2 n tbe trse cm nk blik umh lak..rndu kat mama, nk dgr mam mbbel, rndu kat abh, nk dgr nasihat dri abah..rndu kat angah, yg dlm gurau pn dia blh mnegur, rndu kat uda, yg mjd shbt baikku ktka d umh, rndu kat kak chik, yg sering mbuat diri ini ttawa, rndu pd kakak, yg dlm mrhku, tramat syg pd ny..rndu pd tok bah, yg dlm skit ny dia byk mbuatku bfikir, rndu pd tok mak, yg dlm pelupanya kasih syg dia xpnh krg..rndu pd my csins, yg sntiasa mbuatkan hti ini gembira ble bsma..rndu mk ck2 n pk ck2, yg xpnh ptus pgajaran n lawak ny..rndu pd smua owg d sna..my fmily..

n sy rndu pd seseowg itu..sgt byk kngn sy dan dia..tamakkah sya klw sya brse dengki dia dgn owg lain wlaupun dia bknny sesiapa pn pd sya??dia bkn milikku, dan sya pn bkn milik sesiapa..cme hti ini trse skt..oowh, trse sgt tamak..

n mampu ke sya utk setia mnunggu utk tmpoh 2thn lg..sdg kan hti ny sdh jauh bpaling..tgn btpuk sblh tgn..sya xkan mulakan lgkh, cme mnanti..seandai ny dia hny bpaling sx utk sya, sx sje, sya akan blari utk dia..tp seandainy slps sya blari, dia rpe ny hny mlht utk kali trakhir, pasrah..dia bkn utkku sbg mn ttulis di luh mahfuz..

sbnr ny sgt ltih ble bmain dgn perasaan..

hny mereka yg tahu sje fhm knpa sya sggup mnanti dia wlau jurang sgt jauh ntr kmi..

apa yang saya belajar??

2010-02-26T01:36:00.000-08:00

dh jauh d tmpt org..stkt 2mggu kat cn n, byk bnda yg sya dpt..

1st lesson is.."islam itu indah" (noni)...kali pertama muka menyentuh tanah sujud kepadaNya, ada satu perasaan halus yg sya xpnh rse sblm2 n..sya akui b4 n sya slalu lalai menunaikan kwajipn..lupa diri..tp dat tme, b4 solat, diowg dok sbuk psl 'khuf'..syesly, sya xpnh taw pn even xpnh dgr pn psl 'khuf' 2..sya tny kat noni n syue..noni bg gmbrn scra general je..dia kte blik kat umh nnt dia cter lbh lnjut..spjg hr sya ttny2..nk sgt taw..sbb rse cm bdoh sgt ble owg ckp bout something, kt xtaw psl 2..pas2 ble cr tmpt nk smyg..skali lg trse bdoh..sya tny kat syue "kte smyg kat mn n??" syue kte "kak munie kte kat sna(tnjuk ke arah botanical garden dkt sydney opera house)" dlm hti, "emm..kat cn ada surau ek??" i was wondering..rpe2 ny kami akn smyg atas rumput.."oooook..tp blh ke?"..wondering again..tp ikut je owg lain..mcri la tmpt yg ssuai..akhir ny bjamaah lah kami diimamkan atiqah sham..syesly, nervous sgt2 mse 2..xtaw nk gmbrkan perasaan cm ne..rse cm nk nangis pn ada, tp malu sbb nnt owg nmpk..hehehe..asar pn sme gak..tp asar smyg kat manly beach..akmar yg jd imam..mse n jemaah lg rmai..lg sronok sgt2 nk smyg..syesly, stiap kali tringat wak2 2 rse sbak smcm..nape la b4 n sya xpnh nk sdar bhwa islam itu seindah ini..tiada kata yg dpt diungkapkan lg..cme nk lg smyg cm 2..klw kna smyg cm2 tiap2 waktu pn sya sggup..honestly..sgt mginsafkan..
ble blik umh. mlm 2 noni nsyue ajar sya psl khuf..yeay!!sya dh taw skrg.. :D

2nd lesson is ble dh ada kat tmpat owg, jauh sesgt dr fmily, bru lah kt dpt taw siapa kwn kt yg sbnr..thank GOD mereka yg bsma sya sgt membantu n menyokong sya spnuh ny..n 57 people here..some already show their true colour.."kalau kt knl sesorg 100 thn pn, blm tentu kt knl siapa dia sbnr ny..tp dduklah dgn dia d tmpt asing utk 1hr je..kt akn tahu siapa dia"..alhamdulillah, sya sgt syg mereka yg d sekeliling sya yg sgt best.. :D

stkt n, inilah 2 pengajaran yg plg besar yg sya dpt slma 2mggu d sydney..byk lg yg sya akn tmba..insya allah.. "sy bdk baru blaja, klw slh, tlg tunjukkan.." :D

post yg ke-60~~

2010-02-15T04:04:00.000-08:00

huhuhu..sangka xsangka, dis post is made in australia..huhuhu..

waaa!!!syesly, mmg sgt homesick r8 now..myb sbb lme sgt dok umh kot..n syesly, sgt rndu nk wat rutin2 d umh yg sgt mmenatkan itu..

oowh..xsmp sminggu pn lg kat cn..tp rse cm nk blik sesgt..thank God my housemates n my fwenz byk mhiburkan sma ada scra lnsg @ pn tidak..huhuhu..thanks a lot, guys..

overall, aussie lbey krg mlysia gak xcept d weather sgt confusing, toilet xde air, burung2 yg berterbangan di cn sgt lain, pokok2, n mnusia2 d cn pn sgt bbza..huhuhu..
*owh, apa yg sy mgarut n sbnr ny*

abah n mama psan "jge dri elok2..now mama n abah jauh"
oowh..sgt sdey ble dgr ayt 2..

emm..

stkt n, everything was fine..n i hope it will always b fine..nk bgayut ngn fmly pn xde mslh..lebara ada..satu sen je seminit..skype lg la..vdeo call pn free je..hehehe..

mama, abah..along xnangis dh..nnt kt skyping lg k..pray for me..

siapa sangka..

2010-01-29T05:03:00.000-08:00

post kali n dtulis dgn keterharuan yg teramat dr jauh lubuk hati..

12 hari je lg..sape sangka impian dr kecik nk g australia tcapai..huhuhu..cme dulu tme kecik2, i thought aussie 2 ada salji..hehehe..*adui ai..packing xciap lg n*

emm..sape sangka gak nisya hr n pnh mjd nisa' yg dulu..emm..mse kecik2, owg pggl nurul..mse 2 tme dok kat pahang..pndh johor, family smua pggl nisya..pas2 ble masuk sklh bru lah ada owg pggl nisa'..

mcm2 blaku dlm hidup n..mcm2 nme owg pnh pggl sya..tp sya lbey slesa dgn pggl nisya..jgn tny knapa..

hahaha..apa la yg sya membebel n..huhuhu..ntah r..cuti kali n byk sgt bnda blaku..byk bnda wat sya bfikir..maybe peluang utk mematangkan dr..

btol owg kte kt akan belajar dr kejatuhan, kehilangan, dan kesilapan..

apa yg perlu dibuat??

2010-01-09T22:21:00.000-08:00

apa yg perlu kt buat bile kt rse apa yg owg wat 2 xbtol n kt rse nk mrh??

apa yg perlu kt buat ble owg yg kt nk mrh 2 mereka yg jauh lg berusia n 'DEWASA' dr kt??

apa yg perlu kt buat ble apa yg mereka buat 2 sgt xptut??

apa yg perlu kt buat ble kt mmg btl2 nk mrh dgn mereka??

apa yg perlu kt buat ble smthg knon ny 'HAK' mereka lbey byk thadap ny tp mreka mengabainya tapi ble kt menjaganya, mereka dtg utk mengambilnya semula??

s***!!!i really hate dis feeling when i start 2 hate wat people did..not to me, but 2 someone dat i love..damn!!i hope u will realize 1day each people who r live in dis world r valuable especially our own parents..

ya ALLAH!!berikanlah aku kesabaran..ya ALLAH!!hanya Kau yang tahu perasaanku..

thanx 2 mama n abah coz tidak menjadi seperti mereka..

seorang insan yg wujud dlm hidupku..

2010-01-07T05:44:00.000-08:00

HJ ATAN BIN ALIFF..

tok bah..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah dduk kat kerusi malas dia,kat tepi tangga,pegang kipas tgn,pakai sluar pendek..bawah tgga dia selit parang pjg,snang nk amik nk g bkebun..kat kerusi malas tok bah lak,sgala mcm ubt ada bgantungan..

ingt lg dulu..
naik moto kapcai tok bah n tok mak keliling kampung, ntr tok mak g mgurut n membidankan owg..pas2 ada jgk bbrpe kali moto 2 rosak..kna jln kaki balik umh..smbil jln, main rumput ekor kuda..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah dduk di kerusi malas ny, bace muqaddam sambil swh sya or angah cari uban kat kepala dia..dia kate surah-surah dlm muqaddam 2 kna bace sllu..ingt, hafal..tp ntah bape surah je yg lekat dlm kepala skrg sya n..pas2 bile dia dh abis bce 2,3 surah,dia tgok bape byk uban yg ktowg bjaya kumpul..

ingt lg dulu..
klw sya demam, tok bah bwk g kat klinik ayer baloi.."kt g mntk ubt ngn misi"..pas2 odw blik, tok bah akn sggah kat kedai misai beli kuih bom..pas2 sggh kdai runcit beli air kaki 3..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah ntr sya ngn g kls agama kat sek pulai sebatang..xingt nma ustazah 2 apa..tp tok bah akan ntr smp dpn kelas..abis kelas tok bah sentiasa tunggu dpn kelas 2 jgk..sblm blk, kna nyanyi lagu sifat-sifat ALLAH..stiap kali nyanyi,tok bah mmg dh ada kat luar kls,2ggu kat pntu dpn..xpnh lmbt..

ingt lg dulu..
g pnjt kopi ngn tok mak..pas2 ikut tok bah petik kelapa sawit..pas2 g mndi parit kat blkg umh tok bah..

ingt lg dulu..
bile sya dh start msuk sekolah..ujg mggu xmo blik umh..nk tdo umh atok..sbb pg2 blh tgok cartoon..blh g mnd parit..geng ny angah la..ktowg la yg byk wat atok bising..dr kecik lg..hahaha

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah ada ikat 1 tali kat alang umh utk sangkut buai baby..tp ble dpt kat sya ngn angah, kt main tarzan2 kat c2 smp jatuh tsembam..bile nangis,tok bah ajk bgurau..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah cabut kan gg susu..pas2 tok bah ktawa..sbb dia kata gg 2 blh tnam kat tok bah ny gusi..sbb gg tok bah byk xde..

ingt lg dulu..
sya pnh mbebel kat atok sbb xpasang lampu kat bilik air..kononny nk bjimat..tp mase 2 sya mbebel kat atok sbb gelap sgt sya nk mnd..nk jln pn xnmpk pape..smp sya menjerit sbb tpjak katak..eee..geli..tp ble balik pas2 tgok2 lampu bilik air dh ada..pk cik yg tlg pasangkan..xingt lak sape exactly yg mmasang ny..tp dsbbkan dh byk sgt xcdent dlm gelap kot..

ingt lg dulu..
tok bah cter cm ne idup zmn jepun dulu..tok bah tnjuk buku kecik(cm passport)..ada gmbr tok bah pakai bju polis time mude2..nsem tok bahku time mude2 yek..hehehe..dia cter btapa seksanya nk g surau smbil kna pikul khinzir..anak dara kna kasi semunyik..nasi masak cmpur ngn ubi ngn keledek sbb beras sgt ssh nk dpt..tok mak pnh masak nasi+ubi+keledek 2..so,sya pnh la dpt rse mknn tme zmn2 jepun dulu..

kisah-kisah n semua kbanyakannya blaku mase sya kecik-kecik dulu..sya pnh dduk ngn atok kjap mse umur 4,5 thun..mse 2 bru2 pndh dr kuantan..xingt mn..tp ckit2 ingat la..ok r utk djdkan knangan bsama tok bah..

bile dh besar, sya lupe..lg la ble dh dok bndr lak pas2..lupe sya pnh jd bdk kampung yg comot..byk bnda sya lupe..psan tok bah sya lupe..jasa tok bah sya xingt..smp la satu masa...kini..bile tok bah dh xley bgun cm dulu..

dh hmpir sthun tok bah terlantar..mcm2 cter tjadi..mcm2 kisah yg timbul..mcm perasaan yg terzahir..

tok bah dh xmmpu nk cam siapa cucu ny..anak2 dia pn dia xley nk ingt sgt siapa..muke tok bah dh cengkung sgt2..mkn xnk,mnum pn ckit2..nk angkat tgn pn cm dh xmmpu..hr 2 tok bah msuk wad, dktor kate kna esteoartritis..sendi2 kaki tok bah bengkak..hmpir sthun dh tok bah tpaksa pakai tena..tok bah xmmpu nk bgun utk salin sndr, mndi sndr, mkn sndr..smua kna ada owg utk wat kan utk dia..

rse cm nk lempang je bile ada anak @ cucu dia yg geli nk dekat ngn tok bah, apalagi nk tlg bersihkan dia..jgn kate lempang, rse cm nk ckp "ala..nnt ko tua,jd lg terok drpd n,xde sape nk amik ksh bru taw..wat goes around,comes around,u c.."seyes sakit hati bile ada owg wat cm 2 kat tok bah dpn mate sya..harta tok bah reti plk nk, tlg ny tidak..sabar je la..pk keluarga la sya diam kan je la..

ya ALLLAH..Kau ringankanlah beban yg tok bah hdapi skrg..krg kanlah kesakitannya..seandai benar Kau sayang tok bah, senangkanlah perjalanannya..golongkanlah tok bah di kalangan mereka yg beriman..aku sgt syg pd tok bah,aku memohon padaMu yg Maha Penyayang..mudahkanlah perjalannya ya ALLAH..

my fav poem from someone..(lg..)

2010-01-06T00:41:00.000-08:00

Shut up and go to bed
Put the pillow under your head
Shut up and say goodnight
Say your prayers and turn off the light
shut up coz u talk too much
hears out my lullaby and sleep tight.
allthough we are apart,
you're always the one within my heart.

you sang today,
hangout all day,
make up your day.
sleep now with peace in mind,
dream garden sweet of mine.
rhythm and hymph beats in synchronise.
lay down your head dear,
may we be friends forever.

anda mampu mengubahnye,
mandi jangan lame-lame,
rindu saye dibuatnye.
baru dicoret sahaje,
macam sedap rasenye,
harap awak suke.

the waters will rise,and you wont be surprise,
it's grey sky much better that way,reminds you that this time is so cool.

lay down now,sweet and low girl
close your eyes,sweet and low girl
and i will carry you home,
it's like dream you see,if the world is right
i'll sing all night and be there when you wake up
just lean your head back, take yourself to dreamland.

close your eyes, close the door
you don't have to worry any more
i want you to sleep tight baby
shut the light and shut the shade
you don't have to be afraid no more
sail away and sleep tight baby

u put me on a line
and homely out to sleep
oh baby u shud take a break
try to put it all aside
and i cud write a song
a thousand miles long
well thats where i belong
and u should go to sleep.

juliet scarlet letter
thou romeo 's here
romeo loves juliet
as painted forever
scarlet and violet
inevitable perfectly together
fold thou eyelids juliet
upon romeo 's lips
trace thou cheek sweet
for romeo whispers
sleep well my love.

something from someone...

2010-01-06T00:22:00.000-08:00

Title:Offaway
date:27 marz,2009
time:0340 hrs

no..
no,i cannot waste another minute of my life..
no,i cannot live to waste my potentials..
no,i cannot let my potentials be demolished by my foolish actions..
no,i cannot act like i have nothing to lose..
no,i cannot lose to my twisted-wrong-desires..
....whispers of evil,these desires are!!

these desires are pulling me down ruthlessly..
down to where i cannot bear to stand alive,
to live in bitterness,to have nothing to hold to..
down to where i cannot turn the clock around,
to live in remorse,to lament of yesterdays..
to where disappointment undertake oneself..
....ohh,would then i wished i done something significant!!

yes..
yes,God,guide me..
be my guidance..
yes,strength, provoke me..
be my trigger..
yes,will,persuade me..
be my influence..
yes,pressure,drive me..
be my force..
yes,concentration,accompany me..
be my companion..
answer me,,
....please,i am pleading!!

i am halfway of the path,,watching away..
i am off the lines,,somewhere along the way..
i am not turning my head around,,back away..
i am waking up,,spending my heart away..
either force-forward..
either pace-forward..
i am embarking my mark on the future..
blew it away,blew it away!!

~~to someone who wrote me dis lovely poem..thank u very much..i really love d words in it..it means a lot to me..those words r like d words dat existed in me..seems wat i have in my heart come out through u..sowy to dat someone i didnt tell u i put ur poem here in my blog..i love it so much until im afraid i'll lose it..so i want to keep it here..it will remain forever..to remind me to be strong in wateva situation..to inspire me wheneva im sad or down..coz it is something dat i feel in life..

1st post for 2010~~

2010-01-03T07:36:00.000-08:00

huh~~cpt sungguh mse bllu..now dh thn 2010..

sllu ny owg akn wat azam baru bile masuk thn baru..tp dpt dpnuhi ke azam2 2 smua??emm..
ntah r..

apa yg penting,keyakinan n kekuatan diri sendiri utk mlaksanakan azam yg kt dh wat 2.. -->sesuatu yg sya bru blajar dlm hdup n..huhuhu..

emm..esok adik2 dh nk g skolah..wow!!xcited sgguh mereka..beg baru,alt tulis baru,bju baru,kasut baru,smua baru la..tbe2 sya rse cm nk blik zmn sklh blik je..seronok,xde mslh..main je...blaja la jgk..hehehe..

sya, adakah anda akan menjadi seorang manusia baru tahun ini??
emm..i really hope so..teka kan azam,kuatkan semangat utk menepis sgala anasir2 yg mdtg..ok??
ok,baik bos!!hehehe

sya,sya..mdh sgt tgugat..lpas n kuatkan iman,jgn mdh tpgaruh lg eh..ingt pesan mama,abah,kwn2...smua org mharapkan yg tbaik..

opps..mampu ke sya ek??
aish..pang!!!
kna la kuat klw nk brubah an..
tapi....
xpe2x..kt msti blh..chaiyok!!!!
hehehe..

dlm byk2 dugaan, ada 1 sya xley nk tepis..adui ai..
apa 2??
makan.. :( sya dh gmok sgt dh n..syesly dh overwight..
hehehe..xdpt den nk nolong..

dlm byk2 gangguan, ada 1 bnda yg wat sya lmah sgt2..
apa lak n??
emm.. #-_-#
aik..xley lupe lg ke??ala sya..lupekan je la..owg dh benci..dh xsuke..
huh..pyh ny la ble bcte soal hati n..emm..ok, abaikan..
DISTRACTION!!!
astagfirullah al-azim..redhalah sya..
baik,baik.. :'(

aish..dh..jgn nk mlalut lg..
emm..rndu sesgt nk blk penang..tp....klw sya g sna,mst ad smbdy yg sya tringin sgt nk jmp..tp dia mst xmo tgok or even dgr psl sya pn..n nnt mst sya having a tiny-weeny heart after that..hehehehe..

ok2x..enough for that..kte nk cter psl azam thun baru..apa n..sya n,xabis2 melalut la..
hehehe..sbnr nya sya dh ngantok..nk tdo dulu la..kt cter esok blh??
ok,gud n8,sya..
gud n8 syg..jgn lpe 'bekal' utk tdo ye..
baaaaik.. :)

mama kata....

2009-12-25T00:43:00.000-08:00

mak dia byk psn memesan kan..smp 1day, t'pk, mmpu ke nk ingt smua yg mak kt psan..ikut segala psanan..huhuhu.. -_-"

klw myapu, mama n abah kata jgn buang dpn muka pntu..xelok mata owg yg dtg btandang memandang..
klw wat keje, mama n abah kata ikhlas kan hati..bru keje menjadi..
klw masak, mama n abah kata baca bismillah n selawat,pas2 tgh masak jgn marah2..ingat dlm hati kta masak utk owg yg kta syg..bru mjadi n sedap masakan kta 2..
klw kupas bawang, mama n abah kata jgn tmenung..nnt bawang 2 cpt busuk, mknan cpt basi..
klw basuh baju,mama n abah kata kirai baju 2 satu2..supaya mesin xcpat rosak..
klw bsuh tangan, mama n abah kata jgn bukak air kuat2..basah baju..
klw mkn, mama n abah kata jgn gelojoh..nnt tsedak..nnt sembelit..
klw mnum air,mama n abah kata 1 hari kna mnum air byk2..supaya chat..
klw lipat kain, mama n abah kata jgn lipat tbalik..nnt suami xsyg..
klw tgok tv, mama n abah kata jgn dok mengangkang..xsopan..
klw ada tetamu, mama n abah kata layan dgn elok,xkire siapa dia..
klw mnd,mama n abah kata jgn lama2..nnt paru2 kembang,blh jd paru2 berair..
klw dok dpn laptop, mama n abah kata jgn dok dkt2..nnt mata rosak..sma jgk tgok tv or bce buku..mama kata kna bukak lampu..jgn bgelap..
klw nk tdo, mama n abah kata bsuh kaki,bce al-fatihah n ayat kursi,bru xde mmpi buruk..
klw nk mkn, mama n abah kata jgn baring or mniarap..nnt mknn ssh nk hadam..
klw nk pkai baju, mama n abah kata ttup aurat..
klw nk g jenjalan, mama n abah kata jgn wat jahat..
klw lps smyg magrib, mama n abah kata mengaji lah..even setengah muka..
klw bkawan, mama n abah kata bpada2..
klw bmusuh, mama n abah kata xbaik,maafkan je la even trasa ssh sgt..
klw kta syg sseorg, mama n abah kata jgn mlampau sgt..tkut nnt kcewa..
klw tgh kcewa, mama n abah kata byk2 la bdoa..
klw bckap ngn owg, mama n abah kata biarlah bersopan..
klw bgaduh adik2 beradik, mama n abah kata inilah apa yg awk ada utk bgantung harap ble mama n abah xde..
klw mama n abah ckp, mama n abah kata jgn mlawan,even xpuas hati cm ne pn..klw btul nk ckp,elok2..bmbg nnt kt dpt dosa n dcop derhaka..dosa bsar 2..
klw.........mama n abah akn kata...........

byk kan pesan mama..tp, klw kt muhasabah diri blik..byk mn yg kt ikut pesanan 2??sdg kan smua 2 mama pesan utk kbaikan kt..kta laksanakan x??stiap gerak geri kta d dunia n, mama dan abah la yg mengacu ny..tp jauh mn kta bsyukur??byk mn kt mngucapkan trima kasih??mmpu kah kt, skrg n, mdabik dada, dan bkata,"oowh..aku seowg ank yg baik..semua jasa mak ayah aku dh bls..abis hutang"??emm..sya xingat sape yg ckp, tp sya pnh dgr, klw kt rse kt dh bls semua jasa ibu bapa kt, sbnr ny kt dh tclap..mlh dgn bperasaan bgitu je, sbnr ny kt blh dkatakan seowg anak derhaka..

*sya??nape sya ckp cm n hr n??
emm..sbnr ny jjur sya kate kan..sya rse bslh sbnr ny..sya trasa jhat teramat..
cm n cter ny..abah sya nk g mmancing..n dia mntk tlg sya sdiakan bekalan..abah mntk msakkan nasi,telur dadar, n sambal sardin..alhamdulillah,sya mmpu nk wat..pas2 kbtulan utk kat umh, sya masak cendawan goreng..pas2 dgn rajin yg tlbey ny,sya msukkan sx cendawan 2..

tp sdey ny..ble abah blik,abh kate nasi 2 smua basi sbb cendawan goreng..abah mbebel gak r ckit..sya terasa ckit mse 2..pas 2 ntah cm ne,tkeluar 1ayt dr mulut sya yg sya rse mnyesal sgt.."ish..owg dh wat kan,xpnh ckp tmer ksh pn..mbebel lak" adusy..mse 2 sya xsdar pn cm ne sya ley kwa cm 2 sx..even cme sya sowg je yg dgr ayt sya 2, tp sya still rse bslh sgt2..

abah,along mntk maaf..
insaf lah..tllu byk jasa mereka..sdarlah sya..pas n..ingt apa yg mama n abah pesan..panduan 2..

d craviest thing i ever done..

2009-12-22T04:22:00.000-08:00

pcaya atw tidak, i've done it..

utk ptama kali ny sy mberani kan diri 2 do dat..sy meredah sesuatu tmpt tnpa knal tmpt 2..yg sy taw matlamat sy ke sna..utk bjumpa dia..byk yg sya nk katakan, tp lidah ku kelu..

nawaitu ku hanya utk mperbtulkan keadaan..seandainy di ntr kami berakhir, sya nk berakhir dgn baik..lgpn sya wat kputusan utk g ke sna sbb sya xdpt nk bncg elok2 ngn dia..sya xbharap pn utk kmbali mcm dulu..sbb sya taw 2 amat impossible utk blaku stlh sya mlakukan kslhn yg bsar dlm hup sya..sya taw dia xley trma..even klw sya kat tmpat dia pn,blm tntu sya dpt trma..

iewa n nik swuh sya wat istikharah..hmpir sbln sya d rmh n,istikharah sya hny utk dia..mohon dberi jwpn..perlukah sya menanti, sdg kan saat itu sya rasakan dia membenci sya..lame sya nantikan jwpn ny..iewa kte sabar..sbb xsmestiny kt akan trus dpt jwpn ny..

sya menanti lagi..dlm mse yg sma, sya rse xtnang utk wat apa2 pn..mn sya pndg,sya nmpk dia..mn sya pgg, sya tringat kat dia..stiap apa yg sya lalui cme mengingatkan sya pd dia..sya khlangan hidup sya..mmg sya rse bhagia ble dpt bsma ngn fmily time2 cuti n..tp ada kekosongan yg sya rse..

iewa kte crilah cinta utk DIA tlbey dahulu sblm cnta utk mnusia..maafkan sya, sya xmmpu..sya dh tlanjur menghulur cnta yg tidak halal wat dirinya..hnya sya hrp cinta yg dh lhir utk dia akan tsmpan rapi dlm hti sya shgga 1 hari nnt sya blh mggil ny "suamiku"..akn tjdi kah??berserah sje lah..

bbalik pada cerita 20.12.09..sya xtaw nape tbe2 sya tgerak hati nk cter kat angah all about him and me..angah tkjut gak..mse 2 ktowg odw nk g kL..angah nk blik gmi n sya nk ntr nik blik klang stlh dia bcuti d umh dlm lbh krg semggu..slesai sya cter kat angah smbil dbantu oleh nik yg smmangny dh taw psl cter tsbut, sya ckp kat angah,"blh x klw kt sggh melaka jap?malim..along rse n je chance yg along ada"angah diam.."angah xtaw tmpt 2..awk taw ke??""X"alamak..dlm hti dh mule mresap persaan kcewa.."blh,tp jgn lme2 r..tkut lmbt..tp 4 sure kt smp mlm n kat kL,xpe ke??"ayat itu ckup utk wash away the disappointment yg wujud dlm hti td..huuu..actually xsangka gak angah sggup nk g.."ngah,klw kt sesat,xyah ptah blk r..just trus ke kL..sesat means along xde rezeki jmp dia"

alamak..alamat dia ada save dlm phone..tp d hilang coz hr 2 format sbb phona rosak..pross mcari alamat..6owg cbe dihubungi,4 bjaya dhubungi,2 xberangkat when i called..dr 4 owg, 2owg dpt bg alamat kat sya..alhamdulillah..tharu rse ny..trme ksh bg mereka yg tlbat..anda byk mbantu..kemudian cube tny jln pd kwn2 yg mnetap d melaka..anda jga byk mbantu..syukur sgt2..pjlnn kami dpmudahkan..xsesat lnsung..hnya bpandukan panduan yg dberi my fwen mlalui phone call and mcari rmh bpandukn alamat yg ada..skrip hafal spjg tmpoh 3jam pjlnn trus lupe..byk bnda nk ckp sbnrny, tp tkedu..

tp alhamdulillah..lps sme slesai,sya lega sgt2..n sya dpt rsekan yg hti sya tenang..xseperti sblm2 n..n skrg,tggl bpe hri je lg sya ada kat mlysia n,sya blh fokuskan utk misi sya utk holiday kali n..b4 n xbape nk mjd sbb hti xtnang..skrg, :)..

nik ada ckp,"sya,ko xrse sng ke kt mcrik umh dia?"
alhamdulillah..mmg sya akui,sgala nya dpmdhkan..idea yg tmbul scra spontan,tndkn yg mngikut grak hati..sgala2 ny lah..syukur..mgkin itu caranya Tuhan berikan jwpn pada sya..

salam maal hijrah

2009-12-18T01:58:00.000-08:00

wow..xsangka dh masuk thun baru..means amalan dicatit dlm buku baru..

dan wow!!tlalu byk perasaan yg telah melnda diri hari n..pagi tadi rse myesal dan sedey yg teramat sbb sya ingin mlakukan sesuatu, tapi syaitan menang akhir nya..sya tewas dlm satu peperangan nafsu tido..huh..syaitan menang menguasai ku di mlm tahun baru..hampes tol..

prasaan yg ke2 yg sya alami hr n ialah sgt rsaw..sbb nik zaiton, my fwen yg dtg berholiday di rumah kesakitan..dia kte dia skit mata n kepala..aish..rsaw2x..nape la ngn dia n..cuak pun ye gak coz mlm 2 sya yg titiskan air kunyit kat mata dia 4 her resdung..

pas2 kemas2 rumah..huh..satu perasaan yg sgt ltey menguasai diri..kebetulan mama n abah g pasar beli ikan banyak sgt..kononnya nk wat nasi dagang petang nnt..tp sgt penat..sbb dr pg smp petang xsmpt nk rest..

n actually perasaan excited pun menguasai diri jgk..sbb 4 d first time during this holiday, all the family members nk cukup bkumpul kat umah ( yg sgt teruk keadaanny sbb under renovation skrg n)..angah nk balik!!

n sy juga sgt merindui seseorg itu..mlm td sy msj dia..tp sy xbg dia reply,sbb sy taw klw dia reply,dia marah n sy pn terasa hati..just msj to say slmt myambut awl muharram je..sdey, sbb sy sgt merindui dia..Tuhan, seandainya dia utk ku, Kau bukakan lah dan lembutkanlah hatiny utk memaafkan n mnerima ku kembali..seandainya dia bukan utkku, Kau tutuplah pintu hati ku dari merindui nya..

n kemudian,msih dlm kepenatan n kerinduan itu, angah, my only bro called, mntk amik dia n naim at gelang patah..coz moto rosak..pergila kami ( nik n me) ke sana utk mengambil mereka..

blik umh..huh~~trase pening lak sbb tlalu penat..

ushar2 facebook smbil2 msk nasi dagang..opps!!result kwa dh..bdbar scara tbe2..

bukak la lmn web macquarie university jap nk tgok result..yes!!alhamdulillah..agk cemerlang bg driku yg xbape terror cm owg lain n..actually,result itu adalah sgt xdsangka2..apapun, syukur pada Mu ya ALLAH..terima kasih ya ALLAH..even bg owg lain mybe result sya 2 xsberapa,tp bg sya, ia sgt menggembirakan..

dan setrusny kesdihan stlh kgembiraan yg teramat..2 la, kan owg2 tua dh ckp, jgn suke lbey2,nnt ad la yg xelok ny..huhuhu..actually bukan pe pn..cme sya je yg tlbey emoc sgt..nape ntah..leceh tol ble diri ini sgt senctip..ntah r..try gak utk mnhan diri dari senctip2 feeling n..tp xmmpu r..ckit2 2 ley lg nk thn, tapi lme2..huuu~~ya ALLAH, berilah kekuatan kepada hambaMu ini..

tapi, dlm kesedihan n, sbnarnya hati sya teramat senang..sbb family members smua ny ckup..tmbh2 plk dgn kehdairan sahabat yg sya syg..tp sowy,sya xley nk cntrol perasaan lg wat mse n..

kesimpulannya, sya n mood swing ke ek??dlm 1day, byk tol yg sya ley alami perasaan ny..

nk mnulis lagi..kebosanan..

2009-12-07T05:41:00.000-08:00

bile bosan, kt jd xtaw wat pe..emm..kbetuln gjol ada tagged me kat notes fb..mjwb soalanny, ada sesuatu mnarik d c2..

ntah r..slalu ny mls nk mjawab soalan yg sebegitu..xrajin r nk wat..tp ble wat td..rse cm "emm..ssh gak bnda n.."..padahal soalan 2 seme tny psl diri sendiri..bkn ny tny psl owg lain pn..4 me, part yg plg byk amik mse nk pk yg "how i end my sentences" 2..nmpk cm snang je..tp once ble nk mjwb..pyh gak nk mmikir apa nk letak..ikut kan emosi n hati n jgk perasaan yg tgh xbape stabil n,ntah apa2 la sya akn jwb nnt..

tp plg menarik sekali part yg dia tny "i dont understand:....."..
mule nk ltak math..coz i hate math..lg2 klw add math..rse cm blaja add math 2 mgabiskan mse je..huhuhu..jhat sungguh diriku bkata sedemikian..no la..actually, personally sya rse add math 2 xde kaitan ngn daily life..cm x relevant gak r..huhuhu..2 personal opinion k..

then, jwpn yg sya ltak kat c2, "i dont understand: myself"
huhuhu..trse itulah yg pling tepat wat mse n..

slalunya owg kte tme pre-teen period 2 la tme kt mcari identiti..i thought i've alrdy gone through that stage..rupe2nya, at d age of 21 bru jmp stage 2..huhuhu..bru mengadah slps thantuk..dgn byrn yg bsar utk satu perubahan = kehilangan..

kesimpulanny..sy sndiri xphm diri sy..so, i cant expect other pple to understand me..huhuhu..

mood: happy but.....

2009-12-07T00:21:00.000-08:00

hehehe..ntah nape ntah 2,3 hari n rse cm hepi..tp lonely..tp smtimes sdey..xtaw la apa perasaan sbnrnya skrg n..huhuhu..syesly diriku dilanda ketidakbetulan..ntah r..xtaw r nk ckp cm ne..diri sendiri confius..huhuhu..
pe pn, trase sgt best..sbb..there's smebody yg always b there 4 me..cian gak kat dia..kengkadang t'pk gak..mesti dia bowing sbb asik dgr sya dok berceloteh,bcte,mbebel kat dia..tp, dia smmgny seowg rakan yg baik..wat mse n (status single) sgala opinion yg diperlukan sya mntk dr dia..sya syg sgt kat dia..
tp ckup la skdr kawan..sbb hti sya msh menantia 'si dia' yg sowg lg..klw ada jodoh ad la kot ngn dia..tp rse cm nk tptus hrpn pn ye gak..coz i know he hate me alrdy..
kcewa dlm 1st love, mmg mnonggeng..sbb ye la,nme pn hti dh syg.. byk kali cple pn, xpnh jtuh cnta..2 la 1st tme jtuh cnta..tp nk wat cm ne..dia jmp a girl yg lbih baik n cntik dr sya..
felt in love kali ke2..a miracle..coz he's a good boy..a very good boy..mle2 mse accept dia, just syg cm bese je..lbey dr sowg kwn,tp xla smp smthg dat can b called 'love'..tp lme2, terjatuh gak..klw itu adalah satu episod mimpi, sya rela telan ubat tdo 10bj shari supaya xbgun..even ktowg sllu aduh n bselisih phm, tp sme 2 adlh indah 4 me..owg kte wak2 bcnta mmg indah,tp ble dh kcewa sme jd mmpi ngeri..tp x bg sya..myb sbb sya yg mntk dia ptuskan hbgn ngn sya..sya yg wat slh smp la dia xley nk trma n bnci sya..slh sya..
sya still mharap dia blh mafkan sya n trma sya blik nnt wlaupun sya taw bdna 2 agk mustahil stlh sgala yg blaku..smga kami sma2 dpt mcari nma kami d jabal rahmah..still..he is my forbidden miracle yg tllu sukar utk sya capai..
honestly, i still in love with him..

( i dare 2 write all this things coz i know only me yg bce my blog n..huhuhu.. :) )

life is not easy..

2009-11-24T21:40:00.000-08:00

huh..again..

life is not easy..anything can happen..

believe it or not, mkin tua rase cm makin nak bkepit ngn family..
huhuhu..

now musim cuti..busy..tlg abah kat site, kat umah lak jentera2 sgt memekak..dpn,blkg,kiri.knan..sgala bunyi enjin ada..srabut tol..xsgka lak nk renovet umh smp kna gne jcb..

thank God my dad ajk blik jerteh..lega ckit..mule ingat sempat gak nk men bnjir..avanza je la men bnjir tgh jln..mse odw blik, dr kuantan smp ke k.trengganu ujan lebat xbrenti..kat paka, jln sangkut sbb air melintas..sangkut kat kT, tdo kat indah beach resort 1n8..ok gak r..tmpt bru bukak..

yeah...smp jerteh d next day..tp sdkit kcwa coz bnjir dh serik..hr n dh pns dh pn..ingat smpt gak nk men banjir..huhuhu..

bape hr je lg tggl b4 fly..mse yg ada hny utk family and me..tp kblkgn n kerap terganggu pkrn..byk gak bnda nk kna pk..past..present..future..org kte hdup jgn pndg ke blkg..tp klw xpndg, kt xkan dpt pedoman utk mse dpan..n mcm mn lak kt xley pndg ke blkg, sdangkan apa yg kt dh lalui di masa lalu 2 la yang akn determine our future..cm ne yek agk ny my future??

titik permulaan..

2009-10-27T00:05:00.000-07:00

dulu..bile kt ada sgalanya, kt mdh lupa..ble 1 hari, kt jth..kt mula utk bgn..satu per satu kt atur langkah utk bgun lg..

cm ne blh jatuh??

tahukah, itu kesalahanku..cuai,lalai,leka mengejar yg d hdp tnpa pernah skali memikirkan langkah yg diambil..malah lupa jalan yang seharusnya aku ambil dh lma kulencongkan..

tp, sgt bersyukur bahawa aku dh tjatuh..sakit..teramat sakit..sakit yg akhir nya menyedarkan aku dari segala-galanya..kesakitan yg hingga payah utk ku bangun semula..smp t'pk xmo bgun2 dh..cme mujur ada 1tgn yg sudi menghulurkan secubit kekuatan utk bgun balik..tgn yg sentiasa bantu utk memimpin kembali pada jalan yang satu,jalan yang lama aku nk pergi tapi xde kekuatan utk kembali..terima kasih teramat utk pemilik tangan itu..aku sesungguhnya terhutang budi dan nyawa pada mu..kerana tgn yg bantu utk bgun kembali itu adalh yg tgn yg mbawa ku kembali pada fitrah yg asli..

dan itulah satu titik permulaan..permulaan utk hidup baru..

dan pada seseorang memberi satu naskah pembimbing abadi, terima kasih jua..hadiah yg sgt bmakna..pada mereka yg mjd saksi, terima kasih juga yg kuucapkan..akan kupegang janji hingga hujung nyawa..

pd semua, maafkan diri ini..masih belum tkumpul kekuatan utk berdiri mengakui kejatuhan itu..kekuatan yg ada skrg n cme bersisa utk mencari identiti pd jln fitrah yg asli..

pd seowg mnusia yg aku tlanjur menghulur cinta pd nya sblm aku knal cinta Hakiki, maaf..xmampu utk b'sma mu lg..diri ini xlayak lagi..akan ada mnusia yg bnama perempuan yg lbih berhak utk berada di samping mu..kerana aku masih teraba-raba mencari identiti..

pd diri sendiri, bpgang lah pd janji..teguhkanlah hati..

bday abah..

2009-09-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

23rd of september 2009, abah's 45th bday..dsbbkan mse 2 tgh ryen sgt cbuk hr 2..ktowg just celebr8 mlm ny..wat bbq burung puyuh n ikan..emmm..besh...

n actually xwish pn kat abh dr pg..abh ingt ktowg xingt..smp la...

"hepi bday 2 u,
hepi bday 2 u,
hepi bday 2 abh...
hepi bday 2 u.."

kek yg dbeli diam2..hehehe..nyaris tkantoi sbb abh nk amik air kat dlm peti sjuk..nsb baik ada kakak yg pndai mengalih phatian abah..huhuhu..

mama yg turut bersuhabat dlm mjayakan suprise utk abh..hehehe...

lastly..

abh..hepi bday..(opps..belated dh n)..thanx 4 everything..cyg abah..

cterku utk raye 09..

2009-09-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

emm..

ada owg kte raya kali n x besh..

tp 4 me, raya kali n agk besh..

d story b4 smp umh..huru-hara..laptop n hard disk pn ley ttggal..nk bli bju abh kat bj ny cter smp tjtuh kat tangga bus stop..mse 2 ujn lbat gler..mlm lak 2..dh la driku ini rabun, cme ngengade mls nk pkai spec je..padan muke..kan dh jtuh tgga..huhuhu..nsib baik ada mr mashmallow ku tlg smbut (dr tepi je la pas jtuh 2..huhuhu) 3hr still trse skit lg..

d day b4 raye smp kat umh, pg..fmily amik kat larkin..odw blik abh kata,"along,awk blik xley tdo taw..byk dh keje 2ggu"..adoi..dan sy membalas,"abah,sggh klinik dlu ley?"kerana pwutku sdh trse skit dr mlm ny slps jtuh tangga..bak kte mama,"retis ny la bdn awk n.." ble cter kat mama n abh nape nk g klinik, apa lg, kdgrn la bebelan yg sdh lme kurindui utk mdgarny..huhuhu..taw,mama n abh mrh sbb syg along kan??hehehe..cyg kamoo jgk..yg besh ny smp kat umh sy hny mgarah..jd mandur.."angah, langsir kat dpn xpasang lg" "uda, sapu n mop umh,blik along sx ek" "kchik, tlg kmas tmpt kuih" "kakak, tlg lap cwn" dan sebagainy lagi..sbb abh swuh rhat n xyah wat keje,tkut pwut skit lg..tp dgil nk wat kuih gak..mn ley miss wat kuih..hehehe..ptg, mk ck2, pk ck2 sdh rmai mmnuhi ruang di umh sbb nk wat psiapn rye..sme psiapn raya kali n nk wat kat umh cn, lg pn umh atok 5mnt je pn dr umh sya n..so dh ciap2 msk sme, tggal angkut je esk..

YEA!!!!RAYA!!!

mlm rye agk meriah..sbb bdk2 cbuk main bunga api n mercun (jgn tiru aksi ini..bahaya) mak2 cbuk masak kat dapur, ank2 dara cbuk wat kuih, tp yg besh ny phk llaki la..duk dpn tv, bbual..cme abh slaku tuan umh je kjap2 jenguk dapur,tlg2 mn patut(eg. topup air teh n kopi kat dpn utk kaum bapa, basuh periuk kuali, pastikan sme bnda ckup, n mcm2 lg) yg bujang trang tang2 lak cbuk dok borak2 smbil usha bdk2 yg dok main bunga api..pas2 kwa g bndr..bese r..lelaki kan..

pagi raya..cm bese je..angkut brg g umh atok..smyg raye..drama air mata ktka sesi bmaaf-maafan..hehehe..cme cm xrmai sgt owg kat umh atok kali n sbb ada dlm 3,4 owg gak adk bradik mama yg xblik..emm..ntah la..smkin kt mnginjak dewasa, smkin byk bnda yg kt xmmpu nk phm kan..bdk2 gak sronok dpt duit raye..pas sesi mgumpul duit raye abis, sesi bgambar lak..pas2 mkn juadah raya..menu hr 2: nasi tomato, ayam masak merah, dalca, rendang, ktupat, burasak (yg n a type of mknn jawa,lbh kurang cm nsi impit, cme dbalut ngn daun pisang dlm bntuk leper2,n nasi dia cm nasi lmak coz bsantan),lepat, serunding..syesly mmg byk sgt mkn hr 2..pas2 bgrak la g brya ke umh snak saudara beramai2..6buah kete wat rmbgn..meriah gak r even 2 mmg xtvt bese..

raya ke2..

umh diserang..sme2 dtg blik kat umh sya..so kre cm open house utk fmily tdkat je..fmily tdkat = lbh krg 10fmly yg dtg..mak ndak, mak lang, mak oteh, pak long, mak ngah, pak itam, mak uda, ngn fmily diowg dan jgk fmily2 csins ku yg dh bkahwin..cm knduri pn ye gak..pas2 g glang pth, umh along ain,csin sya yg dh ada 2owg ank yg sgt cmel2..pas2 umh adik dia, angah eon yg jgk dh bkahwin n ada sowg anak yg mmg rpat ngn sya..

raya ke3..

business day..ciapkan tempahan gubahan pengantin..

raya ke4..

ntr gubahan..n jgk bilik pgantin yg ke4 utk sya hias..bab favourite nih..syesly, ske teramat gubah bilik pengantin bbanding ngn keje lain..cme time wat keje 2 tringt kat mr mashmallow n terpk, "ble la aku nk gbah blik pengantinku sndri n?" usih..mgarut dh..lari topic n..tp jwpn ny mmg lmbt lg..tunggu ek..hehehe..n actually hr n bday abh..ada la clbr8 ckit2..

raya ke5..

hr yg sgt mmenatkn..sbb??sbb ny dr kul9 pg, owg xptus2 dtg..n sbgai owg dapur, xptus2 memasak..mule2 bihun goreng..pas2 nasi ayam..pas2 laksa penang..n mlm lak wat bbq..ltey teramat..tp mmg meriah n besh..

k la..2 je cter utk rye kali n..pas n kembali ke student's life..huhuhu..

friendship vs love..??

2009-08-26T19:33:00.000-07:00

dis morning i got a sms from someone..

"i always thought loving someone is the greatest feeling but i realized that loving friends is even better..we lose people we love but we never lose friends"

emm..

pros and cons..love is sweet,love is crazy,love is about madness..but sometimes love can be bitter,love is a sickness,love is hurt..

n how about friends??sometimes it can be the best shoulder to lend on,sometimes it can be backstabbers..friends can be trusted,friends can lie..we need friends to cheer up..friends r d ones who make us sad..do everything with friends..left out by friends..

tesl nite'09: arabian masquerade

2009-08-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

welcome to arabian masquerade nite .......

hot stuff of the night..hahaha...

the hottest controversy of the night..

oasis masquerade team..i love u guys..

the supportive lecturer..our lovely darling, mdm salmah..

~~~there's some pictures taken during the tesl nite '09 with the theme of arabian masquerade..wat a nite it was..full of controversy but still full of memories to remember..maybe it will become our last tesl nite..but, let's pray it still become our annual function in future..

it's not right, but it's ok...

2009-08-21T19:41:00.000-07:00

emm..there's a lot of things are not right..but for some people it is still ok n acceptable..same goes with me,myself..maybe for others, what i am doing @ did is not right, but i just can accept it..opps!! i know what i did is wrong, but can i just being myself??n people..please, if i didnt disturb ur life, please back off from mine..doesn't mean i cant accept any advise from others, but the thing dat i cant accept is those make-up stories about me and any more kutukan..
hello!! i think nobody likes to be 'dikutuk' and 'dimake-up' stories about urself right..nama pn make-up stories, so mmg xbtol la..memandai je wat cter psl owg..apa kes..bajet hot stuff r ble dpt made up those stories about me then sebarkan pada owg lain..rse superior r??!!bangang sgguh tndakan itu..dok peringat kat owg lain tntang dosa pahala, what about u remind urself first??ckup2 lah..penat dh..

as i promised..

2009-08-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

as i promised nk letak gmbr mse g genting highlands ngn my fwenz hr 2..these are some of d pictures taken there..

announcing the arrival of dato'-dato' and datin-datin from ipgm kpp..

posing ngn maskot jap..actually,msing2 tcbar n mencabar kechumelan maskot tsebut..huhuhu..

i dont know where they got the guts to play dis one..gosh!!give me one thousand but i dont want to go up there..

hehehe..mereka yg sdh mggil kaki pas nek pirate ship..

last2, yg n je la yg kaber ngn noni nek..gajah pusing2..hehehe...

yg n kat switzerland..

yg n gmbr mse kat korea..hehehehe...

yg n lak kat disneyland..hehehe..

yg n lak kat antartika..

kanak2 yang keriangan sbb dpt masuk chocolate wonderland..

ala2 cter 'charlie & the chocolate factory' konon ny...

ada owg kebulur chocolate nmpk ny..hahaha..kids, this will happen if eat too much choco..u will addicted to it..

"cyg..ltey r..nek bilik jom.."

hahaha..

dpt ank g genting..hehehe..dpt byk lg anak,tp smpn..

genting highlands..kota keriangan..city of entertainment..give us a thousand memories..

reunion..bohsan..

2009-08-09T19:37:00.000-07:00

last weekend, iwent to shah alam..sesaje ngade2 ikut noni g bengkel bahas kat uitm shah alam kampus puncak perdana..besides, i want to meet my old fwen named ein..miss her so much..

friday..
d day of journey..arrived at shah alam at night..met ein..

saturday..
went to pkns..jenjln..pas2 g sacc cmplex lak..then blik..byk gler mam hr n..

sunday..
yeah!!today i have to go to a reunion for qberian 04/05..but at d moment i arrived at midvalley, i wanted to go back already..bcoz of 'a guy'..yup,my ex..gosh!!rse tcekik gler..n rse cm nk cekik owg..nk lpas geram yg dh tersimpan slma 1thn lbey..God,please help me!!overall, reunion 2 agk sronok..tp rse janggal gak r coz mke msing2 byk gler brubah..mkin matured, mkin smart, mkin keibubapaan kot..huhuhuhu..1.45 i left..then, blik puncak blik..4.30 g syeksen 17,bus station..5.30 naik bas blik penang..on d way balik, i have a wonderful talk with someone i love..hehehe..mklumlah msing2 bz lately n..jrg dpt borak pjg cm 2..leisure time dgunakan spnuhny..hehehe..smp blik dlm 11 lbih..ltey gler..

kesimpulan ny...emm..life must go on..everything happened in life is a life..we need to face it either we like it or not..

hr yg membowingkan

2009-08-06T18:10:00.001-07:00

bile kna msuk klas, rse cm menarik cme pening nk kwal bdk2..

tp hr n xmsuk klas..bowing r lak..

so ini adalah kolekc gmbr kat sekolah...

kelas 3P..aktiviti poison box..

ckgu nk pose jap..hehhehe..

bdk2 yg keriangan..

headache..citer sowg ckgu wannabe..

2009-08-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

adui ai..

headache..pening2x..

hari pertama masuk kelas kat primary school as a teacher..

dh r smp sklh lmbt, tperangkap dlm jam..smp2......
"sya..kt kna masuk klas.."
"haa!!!.......emm..ok je.."

7.45-8.35pg..kelas 2P..

cm bese,msuk knal kan diri..4owg ckgu 1 kls..2 pn xbrapa nk tkawal..ajk cter psl pet..mcm2 r..guinea pig ad, fish(es) ad, hamster ad, cat ad,dog ad..tp kbykn ny..."teacher, teacher..i have......but already died"..adui ai..bdk2..

nk ajar nyanyi tp tlupe lirik lak..last2,hentam saja la..asal ada bnda aku nk wat..pas2 ajar mengeja millipede n centipede..2words cukup r..huhuhu..pas 2 nyanyi lg..seronok gak tgok bebudak n tlompat2..tp disuruh ny lompat 1 kaki, dia g lompat 2kaki lak..adui ai..bdk2...

"cikgu n mental r.."
adusy..bdk2..

10.05-11.05pg..kls 3K..

cm bese gak..introduce ourselves n ask the students to introduce themselves..
citer psl ambition lak..
"teacher, ambition tu apa?"
alamak!!stlh dtrangkan bru lah mereka mengerti..emm..bdk2..ad yg nk jd doktor, fireman, policeman, 3 owg nk jd cikgu, ad yg nk jd cm syed muzaffar g bulan nk tgkap alien..hehehe..bdk2..

then, we did poison box..there's a boy named mawi kena denda nyanyi..peh!!sekali dia nyanyi lagu bunkface da..last2,ktowg pn join nyanyi sx..hehehe..ad harapan gnt mawi af bdk 2..huhuhu..
plg best dnda ny bdk 2 kna wat catwalk..tbe2 dia nk merangkak..
"eh, awk nk wat pe n?"
"ckgu kte catwalk..??jln cm kucing kan??",dia berkata dgn muke blur..
hahahaha...bdk2x..

nk wat chicken dance..swuh berdiri..ntah cm ne boys ley gduh lak kat blkg kls..smp lebam kpala mawi..adui..parah2x..bdk2x..

second day masuk kelas..

10.35-11.05pg..kelas 1P..

msuk year 1, bdk gaduh sbb seketul plastisin wrna biru..nasib bek r sya masuk berdua ngn rini..if not, ngak taw la apa yg bisa terjadi..yg kat cn gduh berebut plastisin, yg kat sna lak merangkak atas meja..

"ok..jom kt nyanyi lgu nak??"
"nak2x.."
"cikgu..saya ngn dia nk nyanyi lagu matahariku boleh??"
adui ai..bdk2x..

huru-hara hdup ngn bdk n..nasib baik kejap je..klw x,ada aku menjerit tetbe dlm klas 2..

huh~~sgt lega hr n sdh berlalu..

happy anniversary mama n abah

2009-08-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

jeng3x...!!

ipgm kpp has been attacked by h1n1..then.......

we went home coz got holiday ( actually quarantine)

then...

i got chance to celebrate my parent's anniversary..22nd..

we went to city square..watching movie together..

SETEM..

boley tahan r..pecah pewut gak gelak..

then hang out together..for the first time mama n abah 'melepak' with us at shopping

mall..usually we jejak shopping mall for shopping je..

im glad,thankful, and very happy that i have a happy family..

thanks to mama n abah..

i love u all..

Lyrics to Ayah Dan Ibu by Sudirman :

Ayah dan ibu 2x

Itulah permulaan kami

Dapatlah melihat bulan dan

Matahari

Aaaaa...

Yang dikurniakan dari Ilahi

Aaaaa...

Ayah dan ibu lah

Mesti dihormati

Ayah dan ibu 2x

Wali dan juga keramat

Pada mereka kita beri hormat

Aaaaa...

Bagilah tunjuk ajar dan

Nasihat

Supaya hidup

Supaya hidup kita akan selamat

MOM AND DAD

To the ones whom I owe my life

Who've known me since my birth,

Who loved each other more than enough

To bring me into this earth..

Who've raised me up knowing right from wrong

Who taught me how to read and write,

Who laughed, and played,

and sang with meand tucked me in at night..

Words can never thank you enough

For all of your love and tears,

That have shaped me into who I am today

Over these many years..

I want you to know that I love you both

More than words can say,

And I want to thank you for turning me into

The woman I am today..

I couldn't have asked the Lord above

For better parents than you,

so thank you, Mom and Dad

For everything you do!

too many things happened in life..

2009-07-21T01:01:00.000-07:00

perkara di atas dirujuk.

emm..

life..life..

problems..problems..

works..works..

busy..busy..

emm..too many things happened until i dont know where to start or wat to tell u about..

emm..somebody asked me (or should i say 'us'=noni,sue, and me)

"kowg n dok menari2, dok wat keje ntah pa pe n, mktb ada byr ke kat kowg??xde kan?!ape je yg kowg dpt selain letih, pas 2 kna marah2 ngn lcturers..bkn ny dpt duit pn.."

woo!!sgt menarik ayat ini..lu piki la sendiri...u r a future teacher right??what kind of teacher that u will be??ask youself r 'dear'..

then again..our faces on stage again and again..
ulik mayang, then kurik kundi..

haa!!dedication..teacher's day hari tu we did a dedication business..we sold roses and candy..waa!!tiring but we really enjoyed it..personally, i enjoyed it so much because it is a 'weird' kind of feeling that u can feel inside when u see people r happy when u're delivering the roses and candies even to a person you didnt know..even that thing are not from you..huh~~ am i that crazy??hehehe..

then....GENTING TIME!!but b4 we're going there, some problems occured and bcoz of a 'mulut gatai' creating stories and suka memandai2, our vacation nearly failed..but thanks a million thanks to KABER, IZZAT, IKMAL, NONI, and SYUE who are very helpful and supportive to each other..i love u all..u r my backbones and spines..without u, i......dont know wat say lor..

BUT THEN.....
we have a lot of fun there..release tension..unstressed ourselves..waa!!!
we have sooooo much fun till our voices are totally out because of sore throat..fever..thank God nobody got H1N1..scary..huhuhuu..
maybe i can upload the photos later ek..

next is school experience..which i am going through now..can say anything yet..mybe later i will tell the story after i finish it..please pray for me to be alive for this whole two weeks..

byk lg bnda nk cter..but im sleepy right now..
later la ek..

and for my dear..gud luck for ur pidato ya..be the best coz i know u can..

father's day is coming..

2009-06-18T07:06:00.001-07:00

21st june..it's father's day dude??any plan to celebr8 it??emm..people always celebr8 mother's day,but how bout father's day??r u forgetting something??in ur blood n body, there have ur dad's gene..appreciate it dude..witout ur dad's chromosomes, u will not exist..people can spend too much money in celebrating valentine's day,but how bout father's day??n u r forgetting something here..u knew ur girlfriend/boyfriend for some months or years only,but ur dad..??u get to know him for the whole ur life since u born..

and dis post i fully dedicate it to my beloved abah, mr abd aziz b che yusof..who gave so much to me since i born and grow up till now..im afaraid i love u abh..thanx u so much for everything that u did for the whole life of mine..

"..because you loved me i overcome

and im so proud what you've become

you've given me such security

no matter what mistakes i make you're there for me

you kill my disappointment and you heal my pain

you understood my fear and you protected me

treasure every irreplaceable memory and that's why.."

dis is a part of a song by beyonce entitled "daddy"..dis is wat i want to say to my abah..but im afraid i have no gut..

abah,

along syg abah..trma ksh utk smuany..tiada kata plg bsar yg along blh kata..maafkan along utk stiap kesalahan n dosa along pada abah selama mn along hidup,biar sebesar molekul pn..u r d best thing in my life..

FAT???

2009-06-16T23:18:00.000-07:00

"why u r making so much fuss bout being fat and ur weight??" ~soalan cepu emas..

emm..girls r very worry bout their weight..n i m 1 of them..admit it..hehehe..n now my weight is 56kg..wow!!reduce 2kg than b4..b4 dis, 58kg..can u imagine??huhuhu..i m FAT..hehehe..once again, admit it..i m an overweight person..

why i need to reduce my weight??
1. i dont want 2 b fat just like b4..
2. health problem..
3. i want to a normal girl with a normal weight
4. lighter means heavier with self-confidence
5. dont want to b called by names dat i ashamed n hate of..

when i was a form 4 student,my weight was around 80kg..could u imagine how fat i m..my relatives were so shock with the drastic changes bcoz b4 dat my weight was only 45 to 48kg only..huhuhu..how did i gain so much weight that time??let me share with u..
1. i stopped dancing
2. cadbury and van houtten was my daily side meal
3. i ate 2-4 plates of rice in my every meal
4. no offense, if u r outsider n lived in terengganu n kelantan, u can gain weight in a short period..their meals have too much santan( coconut milk) and sugar..but, it is delicious and marvellous u know..hehehe..
5. the best thing is, u eat then sleep..dont do other things..n during my time, i always skipped my riadah time which r compulsory for every mrsm student..n guess what, my only exercise was during the detention..once a week..saturday @ sunday..~~jln itik dr blok ke blok, ketuk ketampi, lari keliling mktab bwk bantal, cuci kolam ikan, basuh tandas lelaki, kutip kemuncup kat asrama dak lelaki, mop pejabat, kemas pejabat, jd roomkeeper kat chalet mrsm slma 2bln..n d list is too long to b listed here..hehehe..( teringat zmn dolu2)

then, how i reduced my weight to normal??emm..secret..hehehe..that time, i need 2 reduce my weight coz afraid of being obes..till now i still have the fear..but getting used with so much namecalling by people round me..pregnant woman, bulbasour,mok,itik,n wat so ever..my mouth say "xpe" and smiles all the way..but in my heart.....

have d 'keinginan' to reduce weight..but my lust to eat is too huge..hahaha..so, if i can maintaining my weight is more than enough for me..as long as i can eat wat i want..hehehe..even i cant get the ideal weight just like b4(45-48),just pray that i can achieve my target to reduce my weight to 50kg end of dis year..huhuhu..

come back.. + my babies..

2009-06-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

huh..it takes a long time for to start writing this post..n it took a long period for me to look and updating my blog..huhuhu..since may..

emm..too many things,stuff, and events happened..but now, IT IS HOLIDAY AGAIN..when comes to holiday, im home..yeaa!!!huh~~ -_- emm..holiday means no work except houseworkS..nothing can attract my attention except csi and my babies..let me introduce....

the most handsome carl zahin muzaffar

the most talkative (even cant talk properly) nur iman thaqif luthfi

the prettiest khadijah umairah

the naughtiest shahril amri

the cutest shamil haris

and my two notty sis

so..these people who are brighten my days during my holiday..having them in a house, just like living in a kindergarten which full of excitement and of coz,they always make me feel tired..but the thing is their 'keletah' which can make me laugh a lot..kak icha love u a lot guys..mmmuah..

p/s : i miss mr mashmallow..huhuhu..

hari pekerja...

2009-05-01T01:36:00.000-07:00

emm..blur..bored..huhuhu..almost 1 month i didnt menjenguk to my blog..n now,dont knw wat 2 say..

STUDY!!! EXAM!!!

tapi...nk balik..homesick.. :'(
nsb baik ada pkwe ku d cn..hehehe.. >:)

dis is a sin...

2009-03-26T22:41:00.000-07:00

huh..tensed!!! -_-

today's presentation was s***..hate to say it, but dat's it..aiiyo..mdm temperature, could u please..........
duhh..if i want to complete dat phrase to become a sentence, i dont think it will bcme a sentence, but sentences..wat i want to say here is, u r nonsense n no sense at all..neva think of other people's feelings..neva appreciate people's efforts..neva2x have d intention to understand ur students..u just think bout urself n wat do u think n feel,..or should i say dat d most appropriate word for u is EGOCENTRIC??sure u can understand d meaning of it r8??oowh..i forgot dat u r d BEST teacher ever n u r r8 all d time..n we should understand dat women around ur age have mood swing coz of d PMS..not menstrual, but d other word dat start wih M and end with S..would not state here coz it's a senctif issue r8 for women l8 u..huhuhu..sowy..duhh..

opps.. m i over d limit as a student??gosh..5weeks more to EXAM..sowy..but i just cant stand d stress dat u gave me from d first presentation..i also have my limit, u c..i m a human..

to PD n Bahijah, thank u very3 much guys..n million of apologies i beg 2 u 2 bcoz i was over d limit during d presentation..especially to PD..

to miss temperature, sowy coz i 'mgutuk' u here..if u can read dis, u can fail@penalise me r8??[opps..cabul mulut..hope dat u wont find dis till im dead..if not,i'll die bcoz of u..die la..die la..huhuhu]but just want u 2 know dat dis is wat ur students think..myb not all..some..including me..

huh..lega....

hEpI bDaY~~

2009-03-21T22:49:00.000-07:00

to: mr marshmallow

subject: hApPy bIrThDaY dEaR

hey u,
hepi bday..sowy sbb wish lmbt..sdey gak sbb ttdo..pa pe pn, ikhlas dr hti..slmt hr jadi..nothing much to say here..just want to say thanks for the existence and for everything dat u've done..
=)

welcome MARCH

2009-03-06T05:34:00.000-08:00

emm..the third month in a year..but dis month got so many things to do..huhuhu..sometimes i got stressed..im really33x sowy to my lovely rumm8,noni, my 'buah hati',my friends especially syue, iewa, aza, kucing, and swan coz sometimes i 'ter'burst'' out my unstable emotions..and i would like to say sowy to my 'anak2 buah' in dancing team(all i assumed as my fwenz actually)..sometimes i cant control my anger when i get stressed..thanks to my 'buah hati' for ur understanding..thanks to my fwenz for sharing and hearing me..u all r d best..i will never forget all of u for the whole of my life..here i would like to share my list for dis month on the major things to do:

1. human development- essay/ written report of 1800words

2. human development- oral presentation on d day b4 d holiday, 13th march 2009

3. linguistic- written report of 1500words

4. linguistic- oral presentation,after d holiday

5. philosophy- essay about NPE and KBSR,also 1500words

6. philosophy- oral presentation,already done last tuesday,3rd march

7. science- shoe box kit

8. science- oral presentation, next tuesday, 10th march

9. science- reflection and written report 1500words

10.linguistic- need to do some revision from all that we learnt from the 1st semester,preparation for the oral presentation

11.relay for life performance(a big headache for me)

12.resolve all the conflicts

13.celebration

huuuuhh..God, help me..i need to "penting kan yang lebih penting dari yang penting kerana yang lebih penting itu lebih penting"..or in other word,PRIORITY..and i need to be clever in 'memanfaatkan masa'..

nisya,

dont let stress conquer u..get up and let all ur spirit and strenght burst to the max..u r strong..u can do it..FIGHTING!!and remember to control ur emotions..

2009-02-27T19:41:00.000-08:00

ASSIGNMENT!!!!!!!!!

huh!!life is sooooo hectic...a lot of assignment(S)..a lot of things to do..lots and lots of problems and conflicts..duhhh!!why should it come all in one period of time..sometimes it makes me feel tired with life..why should life become like this..can i have a break just for a while??but i know, if i take a break, it called as avoiding..somehow, later or sooner, i need to face it again, all the unsettled things..duhh!!!

God,please give me strenght..

nisya,please be strong..fighting!!!

a new beginning of a new chapter..

2009-02-02T03:04:00.000-08:00

this is a new beginning for me..thanx to u, my mr marshmallow..thanx for ur existence in my life..hope that u can guide me to be the best for you..thanx for accepting me as i am..thanx a million thanx because you still want to give me your heart and love even you know that i am a bad girl..please guide me and correct me when i do wrong..you are too kind and too good for me..you are the greatest gift that i have in life..i really appreciate it..

p/s : thanx to my beloved and lovely roommate,noni..thanx noni..bcoz of u, we met and knowing each other.. :P

cuti-cuti malaysia part 3

2009-02-02T01:21:00.000-08:00

this time locatian is teluk godek beach resort at mersing,johor..it just like a family-day vacation..about 7 families, 6 cars, and around 30 people from my mom's side gathered..this kind of activity is just like an annual activity that we did together..

this boy name is carl zahin muzaffar @ being called as carl bajang (dont know where's the 'bajang' came from)..he is handsome and cute baby boy just like 'anak mat salleh' according to my grandma..but, behind all the cuteness, he's afraid of water ( especially in a large of quantity) and he feels 'geli' to step on the sand without his shoes..

these kids love to play around with anything that they can play..and today is your independence day..play all the way that you want,kids..

these four mak dara also having their independence day from their houseworks and children..but still keep calling and shouting "jgn g jauh2..","tgok adik","naik mkn!!!",etc...moms are always like that..caring in whatever,whenever situation..

these are the models of the year for teluk godek beach resort in 'other' version of models..natural looks and inner beauty.."big is beautiful" is their favourite..huhuhu..and for your information, these anak daras age are around 15-16 only and still single..contact me if intrested in any of them..hehehe..from right : fatin (green), hidayah (maroon), nadiah (blue), and atiqah (red)..

pity me..tak dilayan ktka pggambaran dijalankan..huhuhu

am i fit enough to be a teacher??

2009-01-23T16:56:00.000-08:00

there one thing dat some people afraid in their life..BEING ALONE..yesterday, i just found out how was the feeling when we feel lonely, it just like that u r the only person dat alive at a place,being left..there's no people around u, empty room, u can even hear the echos of ur slippers as u step around,have nowhere t go,no one to talk to,and.....u feel bored..no wonder people afraid of being alone..because loneliness will lead to emptiness..u will ponder and wonder everything dat happened@will happen in ur life..then, everything will seem wrong..this will lead to stress..and this kind of feelings also can make u do things out of ur normal mind..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sometimes, we just want to be ourselves without someone told us what should we do @ what shouldn't..i just want to be me..but some how, when i did what i want to do,( something bad for other people,maybe ) , at the moment i did it, i just want to do it..but after that, i will feel guilty and bad for myself..i m bad..m i??huhuhu..yeah,i know if i asked people around me,"m i a bad girl?", of coz they "no, u r not"..(or maybe only aza n kucing will said "yes u r!!!"..i know they r 'innocent' and 'honest'..just like kids )..but it just ca'nt convince me..i did a lot of bad things in my life and yes,i regret it..i want to change and be a good girl..but i just can't help myself when sometimes i was too stubborn to listen to other people's opinions and advice..just on dat time..then i will regret,"why i just can't follow what people say which is for my own good?"..for example, going out late at night..sometimes i just want to release out all the tensed that i have inside of me by wondering around at night..looking at people..gasping the night air is one of my own ways to release all the tension that i have..i know, it is dangerous for a girl and people always said that a girl who is hanging around late at night is a bad girl..but, sometimes i will said "can i have my own way of life??"...but the after day that, i will feel bad that i have done that bad thing and make people think that i m a bad girl..hey, wake up!!u r going to be a teacher,girl..u need to behave like a teacher, walk like a teacher,sit like a teacher,eat like a teacher,talk like a teacher,sleep like a teacher,and everything need to be like-a-teacher things..yaa..yaa..i am a future teacher..or suppose i say a teacher-wannabe??teacher can't be a bad girl who did bad things because a teacher suppose to an idol for other people..a teacher should be a nobel person and nearly perfect human being..ask urself,girl.."AM I QUALIFIED TO BE A TEACHER???"..qualified not only in academics, but also from each angles that u can sort out what should a teacher be/like..

is dis life??

2009-01-12T23:04:00.000-08:00

story 1

on 2nd January 2009, i went to my mom's school to help her at KOPERASI SDAHA during d registration day form 1..i was in charge d registration for ex-student SK Bandar Pontian ( my primary school )..everything was ok..but around 1pm when we were ready to close the kaunter, there's a makcik came to me and said,"dik..akak nk beli brg keperluan asas je dulu..boleh x??" as usual i told her dat we already packaged all d needs for d students in one, including their formal sports attire, name tag, books, files, and headcount book ( or also called as buku penilaian markah ). but,this is her reply which touched me deep inside and made me realized something about life.."dik,akak bwk rm50 je utk daftar kan ank akak n..2 je la yg ayh dia bg sbb akak ada 8 owg lg bg sekolah..sowg dpt rm50 je"emm..how to pay rm 120.10 fee with rm50 only??i felt bad coz i cant help her..thank God the Koperasi have 'dana' to help those people like this..somehow, it make me think more bout life..i will never,never forget the situation..just like what my mom said,"u just found 1 today..later,when u bcome a teacher there will be more than u expect u will find n meet.." i wish i can help those people like this..but,d big question is,CAN I HELP THEM??HOW??

story 2

as i told before, my grandpa is ill and has been warded for 2-3 weeks..n i've been 'nursing' him almost of d time..opps!!at d 1st time i need 2 change his diapers, i was shivering..i just couldnt believe myself doing it..a lot n a lot of things i learnt from those moment..during dis time, chirldren r very important 2 b with their old parents..n a saying said dat parents can take care of 10 children but when they r getting older,10 children cant sure that they can take care of their parents..God,please dont let me b a child who 4get my parents when they need me to take care of them..

story 3

there's a fwen of mine, Hanz ( bukan nama sebenar ) is a boy,( or can i say a guy??)..a good looking guy..his parents went to perform their haj..he left with his sisters..but,he impressed me because i think he did his best..n i think it's not too much if i say dat he is a very responsible man..even he needed to go to pasar n bought some groceries just like a woman always do..he's willing to drop his ego to do all d houseworks bcoz he knew his responsibilities..Hanz, for me u r a real man, not only a good looking guy..but also a good boy (even sometimes u r naughty)..

i hope who ever read dis can get d message dat i want to say even im writing with a lot of grammatical errors..

ipp..here we come..!!!

2009-01-07T08:14:00.000-08:00

im glad to see all my friends are here to continue our degree..welcome back to all..hope we do more this year...

a million thanks to all d lecturers:
mr g, mdm rovena, mdm rock, mr teoh, mdm ong, miss loke, mdm lee, miss patricia, mr goh, mr chu, mr ratna, mdm maria, and all d other lecturers who gave us any single word of any lesson that we can use in our life,either directly or indirectly..

a warm welcome i bid to all my cohort mates including me,myself to dis our beloved ipp and hope we all together can proceed to the next stage in mcquarie..hope we can gain and grab everything as much as we can..

farid, ulwi, farhad, amir, chris, pd, hafiz, razeen, helmi, gjol, yus, afiq, faiz, rini, aisah, bahijah, shamas, ain, nuhan, akma, kak nad, kak jen, anis, atiq, syamim, maisyarah, farah, meen, asrin,zawa, zahida, qeela, yeen, masu, reen, alia, nana, aza, iewa, shuwoan, mira, noli, syu, mira, noni, nisya, khalijah, juraidah, myra, dya, mimi, tracy, wan xing, tian way, sarah, meithikda...

it's nearly 2 years now..there's too many other name dat we give each other..not to insult, just to be more close with each other...

aza - mental,gigi besi( ex-gigi besi now), kobis @ cabbage
mira tesl 2 - kucing
mira tesl 1 - rabbit
zawa - kodok
helmi - black sheep, angel
hafiz - fairy, kayu manis
pd - nenas
chris - cina mabok
zawa - kodok
anis - kechik, siput
amir - lipas
ain - koya
anisah - nise, sundae cone
farhad - baby
syu - doraemon
noni - chubby
asrin - a.b.c ( asrin budak chubby), butterfly, loudspeaker, she
rini - ayam
noli - penguin
gjol - dva malatoop, paparazzi
khalijah - khojah
juraidah - jurey
kak nad - senior citizen
razaini - kak jen, jenny
zahidah - cicak
alia - tapir, pinky
bahijah - bebeh
and me,nisya - bulbasaur @ bulb-ba-sour( or u can pronounce it as bulb-besar ) hahaha...

huhuhu..we have so much fun..but if ever anybody 'terasa' with me, i beg ur thousand apologies..forgive me please... :)

cuti-cuti malaysia~part 2

2008-12-29T23:45:00.000-08:00

having fun at a famosa resort water park..

line up please..open ur hand..ic please..

it's me,my mom,n my sis..

last pose after sliding at high speed slide..

what happened la to my bro n...

one of the houses in tmn mini malaysia..

somebody wants to blow out his own head..frustrating..???

model of menara taming sari..huahuahua..

hahaha..dis 1 i dont know how 2 describe it..gedix..hahaha

time : 25th - 27th of December 2008
venue : Malacca
staying at : malacca straits resort
rate : RM 1++ per nite

comments: this is the real holiday..having fun with people i love most..

cuti-cuti malaysia~part1

2008-12-27T21:12:00.001-08:00

lata tembakah,terengganu..

terengganu's flood..

take a break at the beach..let's fly together..

nothing much dat i tell here..flood,shopping at rantau panjang,pengkalan kubu, and kota bahru, went to see monsoon cup at k.t, and celebrating aidiladha there with my dad's family..then at 14th Dicember,we need to rush back to Johor as my grandpa is ill..

he's ill...??

2008-12-21T23:26:00.000-08:00

on 13th December, we've (my family and me) got the news dat my mom's dad,my grandpa is ill,till now..so on 14th, we rushed back to johor..at first, we planned to go to KL..but,i need to sacrifice my audition..just afraid if i cant see him anymore..
within around 12hours, we arrived at Kg Prt Dato, pontian,johor..oh my God!!i just cant believe he is my grandpa dat i left one week previously..one week..only one week and he became like that..unable 2 move, when i kissed his hand,it's cold..unable to talk,just move his eyelids as a sign for everything he wanted to say..until now,he still laying on d bed..thank God now he can speak again..but still cant move his legs coz of gout..still laying on the bed..
God,please give him health till he can see me as a teacher..he told me once dat he wants me to b just like my mom..dat is my hope even most of them said he has no chance to live longer..i just want him as my beloved grandpa who always took me to the shop to buy me 'jajan' and 'biskut aiskrim' and brought me around the village with his 'motor kapcai' during my childhood..i love him..no matter what..

1st post in malay..??

2008-12-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

di tengah sepi yang membingit
melihat muka dan rupa yang kutahu
tapi tidak kukenal
mereka mengendahkan diriku
tapi dalam masa yang sama
aku di pinggiran
aku mencari
namun tiada erti
aku mengagau
namun kelihatan seolah aku hanya mengigau
di tengah lautan manusia
aku keseorangan
di tepi sungai yang tiada siapa
aku berteman
memerhati diri sendiri
muhasabah, menginsafi
betapa sekiranya
ketika aku berteman,aku keseorangan
ketika aku keseorangan,aku berteman

benarkan aku berkata
aku adalah aku
yang bukan sesiapa
aku hanya aku
tanpa apa-apa
kau tak perlu kata apa
biarkan hanya aku yang berkata
kerana hanya aku yang berhak
atas diriku sendiri
pura-puramu hanya mainan
yang kononnya faham dan mengerti
aku berdiri hingga hari ini
jatuh duduk bangun ku
kau hanya memandang
payah aku juga

~kusha~

dsbbkan sjak n in malay,so post n pn in malay la ek..just ttarik ngn dis sjak sbb ble sya bce seolah2 trasa diri sendri dibawa masuk as d persona dlm sjak 2..dlm part I 2,kdg2 kte akan alami keadaan cm 2 kan..kt kat tgh2 rmai org,tp kt rse sunyi sgt..kt ada kwn,tp kt rse lonely..rs cm ada smthg yg kosong..dat's y ble kt sowg2 2,sebaik2 ny kt ingt2 blk n muhasabah dri blk kan..mgkn ada yg kt tlpe..dari 1 view yg lain lak,sjak n cm nk bgtaw yg owg yg wat sjak n msh tcari2 kawan,rakan,sahabat,@ teman sejati lg.."ketika aku berteman,aku keseorangan"..ada something yg penulis n nk bgtaw tp dia berselindung..seems dia lbh suka berahsia..kwn2 dia cme kawan yang hanya ketawa bersme tp bkn sahabat yg diperlukan sebenar2 nya..seolah2 dia merintih yang dia diketepikan..
sjak dia yg ke2 lak,dia menegakkn ego..dia menegaskan yg dia cme mahu mjd drinya sendri..dan dia n gak cm bg warning kat org lain jgn wat persepc tntg diri dia..sbb bg dia,xde owg yg btl2 knl dan fhm dia kcuali diri dia sndr..

sya tertarik dgn sjak kusha n sbb dpt rse jujur dia dlm sjaknya..siapa kusha??ntah la..xpnh lak dgr nme dia b4 n..really intrested nk knl ngn dia sbb sya pnh rse apa yg dia rse..kdg2 kt mnutup hijab kt sndr xnk knal siapa kte sbnr ny..apatah lg nk bg owg lain knl kte spnuh ny..mybe sbb 2 kdg2 kt rse tpinggir..just b urself,but if cant,b a person dat can make other people happy..

my lil sister's bday

2008-12-04T04:39:00.000-08:00

today is my youngest sister's bday..we just celebr8 it at home coz we r 2 busy pack-in our clothes,going 2 terengganu for our aidiladha celebration tomorrow morning..at first, my dad wanted 2 start our journey today as he had finished his work at school..however,his work finished at 5pm,too late 2 start the long journey..

simple celebration~~kfc and vianetta at our home sweet home...

dis is the present dat i gave to her...ok x??

p/s: happy birthday my darling,nurul izzah najihah bt abd aziz...i love u always n forever..jgn nakal2 lg taw,dh 7thn dh..

love is fake..false love??

2008-12-01T23:39:00.000-08:00

Love is not love until love's vulnerable. She slowed to sigh, in that long interval.

Theodore Roethke

To love one person with a private love is poor and miserable: to love all is glorious.

Thomas Traherne

No man can love a second time the person whom he has once truly ceased to love.

Duc De La Rochefoucauld, François

If you can't be with the one you love, Love the one you're with.

Stephen Stills

You are wise, Or else you love not, for to be wise and love Exceeds man's might.

William Shakespeare

for me..LOVE IS HURT. when u love somebody,means u need to prepare to be hurt by him. Quarrel, fights, and anything can happen to your life..including prepare to loss the person that u love so much..auch..it's hurt..it will bleed till u forget how does u suffer because of it..

damn!!why i 'merepek' like dis?!but,really damn and stupid i am to keep him in my mind..im an idiot right??idiot because of him and my blind-love..why cant i see his true colour earlier??

ladies,

here i want to remind u..dont u ever love a guy 'full-heartily' because whenever he leave u, it will be hard for u to stand back..it will be the hardest period for u to build up ur confidence and strength..and the main thing is dont ever trust a man with 'sweet words'..those 'sweet words' that we,women@ladies@girls, like is the most dangerous thing in the world..more dangerous than any venom from any snake..trust me..because if a snake bite u, u will die (slowly or quickly depends to the type of the snake)..but if u have been 'bitten' by those 'sweet words' from a 'crocodile land',it will bring u up high over the cloud and the sky then drop u from there and make u suffer emotionally,psycologically, and pysically..ur body are here,on the land,in the home@whenever u r, but ur soul and self-esteem are 0..u will keep remember him and those fake sweet moments..u will keep blaming urself..but please dont!!!(even me,cant stop doing that to myself..im being cruel to myself)..this is a reminder for me,myself,and all ladies who read this..love urself first before u love anybody..

guys,

please..if u know that the person u called "sayang",honey,baby,"manja",darling,or what so ever love u truly,please..love her as much as u can..if u dont, say it..make her understand..dont just 'melayan' her and then leave whenever u want..or if u want 'berbakul2 makian',then do la whatever u want..

remember...what goes around,comes around..

personality test

2008-12-01T20:54:00.000-08:00

i've done a personality test in http://www.kisa.ca/personality/test.php. just for fun. but,look out for my result..maybe through dis, u can know me better..hahaha

Test Results
Your personality type is INFP.
Introverted (I) 57%
Extraverted (E) 43%
Intuitive (N) 64%
Sensing (S) 36%
Feeling (F) 75%
Thinking (T) 25%
Perceiving (P) 64%
Judging (J) 36%

Introverts often:
-Have quiet energy
-Listen more than talk
-Think quietly inside my head
-Think, then act
-Feel comfortable being alone
-Prefer to work "behind-the-scenes"
-Have good powers of concentration
-Prefer to focus on one thing at a time
-Are self-contained and reserved

(somehow,im not very confident with dis thing..is it true dat dis thing can show ourselves dat we dont know before??)

here some description dat i've search according to my 'type'....

INFP (Introvert, Intuitive, Feeler, Perceiver)
People of this type tend to be: quiet, reserved, and kind; deeply passionate, sensitive, and easily hurt; loving and dedicated to those close to them; creative, original, and imaginative; curious and flexible in small matters; nonconforming.The most important thing to INFPs is their deeply held beliefs and living in harmony with their values.

source: http://www.personalitytype.com/MultiType.aspx

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving by Joe Butt
Profile: INFPRevision: 3.0Date of Revision: 26 Feb 2005

"I remember the first albatross I ever saw. ... At intervals, it arched forth its vast archangel wings, as if to embrace some holy ark. Wondrous flutterings and throbbings shook it. Though bodily unharmed, it uttered cries, as some king's ghost in super natural distress. Through its inexpressible, strange eyes, methought I peeped to secrets not below the heavens. As Abraham before the angels, I bowed myself..." --(Herman Melville, Moby Dick)
INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities.
INFP children often exhibit this in a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fashion, switching from reality to fantasy and back again. With few exceptions, it is the NF child who readily develops imaginary playmates (as with Anne of Green Gables's "bookcase girlfriend"--her own reflection) and whose stuffed animals come to life like the Velveteen Rabbit and the Skin Horse:
"...Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand..." (the Skin Horse)
INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity.
Rest you, my enemy,Slain without fault,Life smacks but tastelesslyLacking your salt!Stuck in a bog whence naughtMay catapult me,Come from the grave, long-sought,Come and insult me!--(Steven Vincent Benet, Elegy for an Enemy)
Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response:
"I say, Queequeg! Why don't you speak? It's I--Ishmael." But all remained still as before. ... Something must have happened. Apoplexy!... And running up after me, she caught me as I was again trying to force open the door. ... "Have to burst it open," said I, and was running down the entry a little, for a good start, when the landlady caught me, again vowing I should not break down her premises; but I tore from her, and with a sudden bodily rush dashed myself full against the mark.--(Melville, Moby Dick)
Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. As INTPs tend to have a sense of failed competence, INFPs struggle with the issue of their own ethical perfection, e.g., perfo rmance of duty for the greater cause. An INFP friend describes the inner conflict as not good versus bad, but on a grand scale, Good vs. Evil. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars depicts this conflict in his struggle between the two sides of "The Force." Although the dark side must be reckoned with, the INFP believes that good ultimately triumphs.
Some INFPs have a gift for taking technical information and putting it into layman's terms. Brendan Kehoe's Zen and the Art of the Internet is one example of this "de-jargoning" talent in action.

Functional Analysis:

Introverted Feeling
INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of introverted Feeling. Being inward-turning, the natural attraction is away from world and toward essence and ideal. This introversion of dominant Feeling, receiving its data from extraverted intuition, must be the source of the quixotic nature of these usually gentle beings. Feeling is caught in the approach- avoidance bind between concern both for people and for All Creatures Great and Small, and a psycho-magnetic repulsion from the same. The "object," be it homo sapiens or a mere representation of an organism, is valued only to the degree that the object contains some measure of the inner Essence or greater Good. Doing a good deed, for example, may provide intrinsic satisfaction which is only secondary to the greater good of striking a blow against Man's Inhumanity to Mankind.

Extraverted iNtuition
Extraverted intuition faces outward, greeting the world on behalf of Feeling. What the observer usually sees is creativity with implied good will. Intuition spawns this type's philosophical bent and strengthens pattern perception. It combines as auxiliary with introverted Feeling and gives rise to unusual skill in both character development and fluency with language--a sound basis for the development of literary facility. If INTPs aspire to word mechanics, INFPs would be verbal artists.

Introverted Sensing
Sensing is introverted and often invisible. This stealth function in the third position gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent- mindedness and other-worldliness, however, Feeling's strong people awareness provides a balancing, mitigating effect. This introverted Sensing is somewhat categorical, a subdued version of SJ sensing. In the third position, however, it is easily overridden by the stronger functions.

Extraverted Thinking
The INFP may turn to inferior extraverted Thinking for help in focusing on externals and for closure. INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy. The inferior, problematic nature of Extraverted Thinking is its lack of context and proportion. Single impersonal facts may loom large or attain higher priority than more salient principles which are all but overlooked.

source: http://typelogic.com/infp.html

they also said those INFP people are suitable to be idealists???i m???m i???

Here are the results of the Personality Type Assessment. If you are like most people, you will be impressed with how accurately these paragraphs describe you. Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeler, Perceiver (INFP)INFPs represent between 4 and 5% of the U.S. population
INFPs value inner harmony above all else. Sensitive, idealistic, and loyal, they have a strong sense of honor concerning their personal values and are often passionately committed to making sure their beliefs and actions are congruent. INFPs are also extremely perceptive about people. They value their uniqueness and typically seek unconventional ways of doing things. Sensitive and empathetic, INFPs tend to be exceptionally adept at reading between the lines. Although they demonstrate cool reserve on the outside, INFPs care deeply inside. They are compassionate, sympathetic, understanding and very sensitive to the feelings of others. They avoid conflict and are not interested in impressing or dominating others unless their values are at stake. INFPs seldom express the intensity of their feelings and often appear reticent and calm. However, once they know you, they are enthusiastic and warm. Feeling truly understood and respected for their unique perspective and strong values is important for many INFPs.
INFPs
Tend To Be:• Deeply committed to work and a vision they believe in• Adaptable & patient • Creative, resourceful & naturally curious• Highly diplomatic consensus builders• Perceptive about others’ needs & motivations• Able to "think outside the box" & see possibilities Career SatisfiersAll people are most satisfied and successful when using their natural talents in an environment that is consistent with their personality preferences and values. Research shows that INFPs are most satisfied by jobs that provide the following:• Supportive, meaningful relationships with a small group of co-workers• A role in helping others grow & develop their fullest potential• A tension-free, collaborative work environment• Work that is consistent with their strong, personal values• A role that does not involve public speaking, or disciplining others

source:http://www.personalitytype.com/types/INFP.html

i think dat's enough..huhuhu..some of d facts are right..but some are not exactly,some are totally not me..huhuhu..maybe you should try to do the test perhaps it can help you to know youself better..

reformation???

2008-12-01T17:51:00.001-08:00

BEFORE..

the things begin...

AFTER.....

dis is a reformation done by my cousin who is volunteer to be my make up artist for my audition on 15th December..can i say dis is a kind of restructuring coz my face after all the process is totally different,even me cant believe dat was myself..a fake-face of mine..hahaha..let me say honestly dat dis fake-face of mine is a lil' bit pretty (10% maybe),but the real is it was FAKE!!!

a special kiss for an 'intruder'..hehehe..

betapa susahnya daku ingin mengonlinekan diri...

2008-12-01T17:04:00.000-08:00

aisy..feel want 2 throw my laptop..too many problems..arggh!!

nothing much dat i can write here bcoz nothing much happen during dis holiday..im bored n miss my friends..went to jb,to my cousins' house,playing with their babies,being a 'surirumah' at home and a babysitter..duhh!! -_-" im tired..(aisy..xbaik ny mengeluh..huhuhu)

it's my family...

2008-11-21T05:26:00.000-08:00

let me introduce my family first..from dis pic,standing at the back from left is me~nisya,my bro~amir@angah, my younger sis~hidayah@uda, sit in the middle are my lovely dad and mom, and the cutest in the front is my youngest sister and in front of my mom is the third daughter..

emm..wat should i say bout my family ek..emmm..my mom and my dad are teachers and i am a future teacher. still remember 1 of the question been asked by 1 of the bpg interviewers.."dont u think dat ur family have too many teachers already??" and my answer is "no,because i dont think it's a sin to have many teachers in a family..it's not a tradition,but it's about passion"huhuhu..and my mom said that the answer is 'too brave' n too risky..is it?? what ever it is,my parent is my inspiration..

my bro??he is a student at gmi now..german malaysian institute..yaa..i should admit he is a clever and hardworking boy..he's more matured than me u know..he is a good friend whenever i have problems..he also a good listener whenever i feel bad..emm..he is my boy and my best friend..

opps!!need to go now..coz i need to help my dad in organizing rugby tournament..so,need to go to finish up the forms for tomorrow..

yea!!!! im home..

2008-11-14T21:47:00.000-08:00

feel very glad to be at home again..huh..and as a welcoming-lunch,my mom made a marvellous meal with several lauks..huhuhuhu...besh..start from this day i can 'pump up' my weight..hehehe..but i need to mantain my body for the becoming audition..nervous la thinking about it..huhuhu..but my laptop still cant connect to the internet..very sad..farhad...could u please help me..or anybody who can help me,please..!!!

d one that can make me laugh..

2008-11-11T03:57:00.000-08:00

guess who...emmm...untie sue as the mediator..hehehe

hahaha...i became a 'voodooer'.....

quarrelling over the heritance because of an incomplete will..

"oh Daddy..please dont go.."

here are some picture from our social studies assignment that we did before raya..so much fun and tense during the progress..but we are satisfied with our works even we need to go through many obstacles and problems..

it's about microlevel conflict,family inheritance and rivalry..Conflicts in a relationship and in a family situation can happened due to different views or believe that clash. Misunderstanding will make people jump to the wrong conclusion and often lead to arguments. Sometimes, a trifle can be exaggerated become a big disagreement. Within the quarrel, somehow some emotional responses towards any person will burst it to level that is more serious. Each stage of the family cycle brings conflicts such as in a rivalry over inheritance. This scene is always can be seen in the society nowadays. Each problem has the resolutions. For micro level conflict, there have many ways to cope with the problem such as communication, negotiation, mediation, submission, collaboration, accommodation, compromise, avoidance, arbitration, and litigation.

the end of foundation course in IPP

2008-11-09T02:41:00.000-08:00

~~~induction week for our juniors..but we are the 'comot' ones..~~

~~~hari sembelihan amali pendidikan agama islam....~~~

~~tesl nite 2008...enchanted theme...~~

~~~language camp 2008..ipti jb~~

our foundation course here meet the end of it..1 and half year here..it's not a long period,but it's enough to make me learnt something new..many things i learnt here..met few friends,new environment,new lessons,n new life..without our realization,there are many things that we did together..a lot of misunderstandings,quarrels.."sometimes we fight,sometimes we quarrel..but most of the time,we bond..."hope our priceless friendship that we built here is endless..

first post!!!!

2008-06-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

Life is a world of wonders
life is sandy
life is lonely
life can also be full of different activities.
life is caringlife is hatred
life is always full of mysteries
life is full love
life is full of up and downs
life is mischief
life is entertaining
life is curious
life is full of uderstanding
life is hope
life is sometimes full of hopelessness
life is full of different crimes like stealing, killing..
well life is always interesting